ANECDOTE OF MILLS, THE VENTRILOQUIST.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1752, 4 August 1884, Page 2

ANECDOTE OF MILLS, THE VENTRILOQUIST.

The carriago was comfortably filled when tins Wairarapa train arrived at Feiuhorstou station, when a man, - evidently under the influence of something -stronger than water, insisted upon thrusting himself and a large portmanteau amongst the passengers, who good-naturedly; tried to make' room for him. The new-comer no sooner ed»ed himself in, than he began to iiake himself as disagreeable as Jg£ple using strong adjectives in tho he kept making. 'He was soon voted a nuisance, and no attention was paid to him until he began asking questions about a dog which was comfortably reposing on the knee of a young man who sat opposite. " That dawg yours f he asked. •' Yes sir," replied the youngman. " TV hat breed do you call W " It is a bull terrier, sir," replied the young man. "A bull terrier ? why it has not got a bit of breed in it; it's just a mongreL" "As you please, sir," replied the young man, .■' - _ ; _ " Say, young man, did a ticket for your dawg, or are you carrying it on the cheap f •• At this moment a low growl came from the portmanteau, which was followed by <i snarl from the bull terrier. "You hud better keep your dog quiet, sir," said a youth who sat next to the offensive stranger, "My dawg? I ain't got no dawg," Another growl from the portmanteau followed by another snarl from the terrier. • "Come, come; you had better let your dog out," 1 said the youth, "and let us have some fun. I'll back two to one the bull terrier kills' your dog in less than live minutes!''' ■} "I tell you again I ain'yrot no dawg," yelled the stranger. $ A loud growl followed this, when the terrier leaped down and began to sniff and snarliroUnd'the portmdMeau. Snap, snap, snap, and snarl cailPfom the portmanteau, ... "^ "Lie still, you brute,".said one of the passengers, givingtheportmanteau a kick as he spoke. '-'. After the kick, came a terrible howl, followed by a series of yelps, and more snarling and growling; whilst the terrier was following suit in a state of great excitement.;. "Keep your dog quiet, or else let him out," said the youth; "this noise is deafening." The guard now made his appearance as they were nearing another station, " Hallo! what's the noise about ?" he inquired. ■ " Tickets please; all tickets ready. Your ticket, sir." This latter remark was made to the now thoroughly excited individual, tmrowner ot the portmanteau, which now be alive with dogs. K "What have you here?" asked the guard as the noise kept .increasing. " How many dogs have you got?W "I'vegot no dawgs von flunley." " ■ "Put him and his dogs outside," said one of the passengers as the train arrived at the Woodside station. " I must dee the tickets for your dogs, now," demsnded the guard. " What dawgs ? I've got no dawgs." " Well, you will have to come out of this," said/ the guard as he dragged the portmanteau, which was making more noise than ever, on to the platform. At this moment the station-master arrived, and wished to know what the dispute was about. "Why, you see, sir," said the guard, " this gentleman has got his portmanteau full of dogs," " Dawgs be. hanged ! there's Jtthing there but my clothes," w Several growls again camo from the portmanteau, "There, sir, can't you hear queried the guard. "Most certainly," replied the station-master; "open up your portmanteau, sir," The man was some time before he could find the key, but managed to get it just as the train was starting. The portmanteau was immediately opened, but no dog was there; nothing but clothes. But the train rattled away with a laughing crowd in the oarriage, amongst whom was Millis, the ventriloquist.