SCALING HOTEL FIGURES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1748, 29 July 1884, Page 2

SCALING HOTEL FIGURES.

) An old lady with a jerky voice and | a'great display of snuff box and spec- . tacles got left by the train the other night and had to g 0 to a hotel for lodgings and breakfast, A few minutes before train time the clerk went up to her room to notify her, and found her s sitting in a chair as stiff as a major. ! As soon as he entered she broke out with: P "How much a day is this hotelf " Two dollars madam." ', " How much where you don't have any supperf " Twelve shillings!" _" How much where you sit up all | night long, expecting to be murdered every minit." " Just the same—twelve shillings." " How much where you don't eat any breakfast for fear of being pizened?" she continued. "Just the same, madam, There is your bed, and breakfast has been ready these two hours." '•' Well, I don't pay it!" "But, Madam." "No, not if I die fur it! Here I've sot in this blessed cheer all night long hearing whistles and bells and folks running, and men whooping and expecting every minit would be my last on airth!" "Has that gas been going on all night ?" "Every minit, sir. {alius made a practice o' mindin' my bttsines, and I didn't propose to set fire to myself by fooling with that thing. How much is it where you sit and tremble like a leaf from eight o'clock at night till next morning, wishing to goodness you hadn't been fool nuff to start for Illanoy alone I" "Just the same, madam."' " Not by a jug-full young man ! Here's fifty cents, an,d you can take the rest out in a lawsuit! I havn't mussed the bed nor touched breakfast, and fitfy cents is plenty for having a roof over my head, Git out of the. way for I'm going!" Ho had to move aside or be run over, for she picked up her satchel and put on steam until nothing could stop her, She made her way down-stairs and started for the depot," and when a boy asked if she 'would have her baggage toted she wheeled on him and replied " You meander! I've been swindled out o' fifty cents already, and if there's any more foolin' around, somebody will git hurt." any person of distinction visits Inverary Castle, the Duke of Argyle gets him to plant a tree in memory of his visit. Thus there is to be seen in the ducal grounds, on the banks of Lochfyne, a ' stately avenue, possessed of qujta an exceptional interest. sverytroe has been planted by a oolebrity, snob as Humboldt, Tennyson, the Baroness Burdett Coutts, land others, Thick heads.—Heavy stomachs, bilious conditions-" Wells' May Apple PillB"-anti • ! bilious, cathartic, 6daudlg. O. Drug Co. • 6 A philanthropist wishes to benefit the ■ p,oor by Reaching them to eat their bread ' and butter with the butter side down. He says that the sense ot taste is more ' aoute on the tongue, and that a very ' small amount of butter will satisfy if pu "t ■ in the ohvioußly right spot, ] SUFFERIIsG as the disease itself. Humm nature ESm? 't. 1 repeated example^.*p? e'to £2St9°. Baluta ff JW B 'hey Inculca e and apt o , ' Mdde 3ve action; When' the means are ritntaZ 1 puft it ut almos sinful to allow their escape Z those who overtook the virtues of BDoY.PHn WOLFE'S SOHIEDAM AROWK SOtoKm i Stand forever sslf-crimkatedMi - '