HIRING A JUDGE TO ADVERTISE.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1698, 30 May 1884, Page 2

HIRING A JUDGE TO ADVERTISE.

When the defendant took the stand. His Honor said: •' Prisoner, you are charged with having removed the goblet from the hana of the Cogswell statue, substituting a pair of two-bit suspenders, with, a placard calling attention to your establishment over the way." " Well, shudge," replied the offender, with an ingratiating smile, " of gorae I vants to get along in peesness, " After which," continued the court, sternly, "you substituted a lot of neckties for the suspenders and attached to the other hand a lot of bills referring to your new stock of gum shoes and hair oil." " Does hair oil is fust rate, your Honor," said the defenant. "I vould like to sell you a pottle." « And yesterday," continued the court, consulting the indictment, "you obstructed the thoroughfares and created a disturbance by placing a paper collar and a plug hat on the statue in question." ." Dose blug hats is sbeap at 4 dols, shudge. Moses Levy sharges five and a half vor dem same kind," returned the trader very cheerfully; "J beat dose fellers efery dimes," . " And at night," went on His Honor," it appears, you placed in the figure's hand a transparency containing a further advertisement of your wares. Now this iB most improper and very reprehensible." " Dot's right, shudge," said Mr Solomons, delightedly, " bitch into him eff you blease. Spheak loud, bo dose noosbaper vellers oan hear you," and ho smiled benignantly upon the reporters. "Great heavens I" thundered the court, as a frightful idea struck it- "Is it possible that you have ih9 audacity to use the machinery of this court as an advertising dodge ?" "Dot'sit, ahudga!" exclaimed cheap John, rubbing his hand exultingly; ' I avore oud der complaint my self!"