TWO LEGS OR FOUR.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 6, Issue 1647, 29 March 1884, Page 2

TWO LEGS OR FOUR.

—»—t(New York Times,) A tremendously important discovery has just been made by a scientific person who is also an evolutionist, This discovery is set forth in a recent number of an American scientific magazine, and is nothing less than the startling truth that man is by nature a quadruped, and makes a great mistake in walking upright. It is impossible to doubt the truth of this discovery. It is demonstrated in a calm, clear, and utterly indisputable way. The scientific person shows that man is, so to speak a horizontal engine, and that in wilfully trying to be an upright engine lie deranges all his machinery and renders himself liable to all sorts of diseases and accident.

Man, according to the scientific person, is provided with valves situated in his blood-vessels and designed to regulate the flow ot the blood to and from the heart. These valves are so constructed as to act perfectly when man places himself on all fours, but they act cither with difficulty or not at all when he stands erect, a fact which conconclusively shows that lie was meant to bo a quadruped. Again, it is also intended by Nature that tho thorax, the ribs, aiid the corset should support the weight of tho viscera. This they would do were man to go on all fours, whoreas they ceased to give any support whatever to the viscera when man assumed tho upright position. Nature has, in accordance with her benevolent practice, striven to supply bipedal man with something that would support'his viscera, but so far she has produced nothing but the waistband of the trousers, and 110 one will pretend that that is sufficient to hold up the heart, lungs, stomach) liver, and trouser pockets of a full grown man.

It is shown by the scientific person . that a large number of diseases are caused by tho unnatural practice of .standing erect. It is hardly necessary to mention all these diseases in a journal not professedly devoted to the sciences, but it is permissible to point out that walking erect tends to produco Jioles in the bottom of pockets, through which money and latch keys are being constantly lost. Were man a quadruped, the weight of articles carried in the pockets would be in a greater degree, supported by the layers of the •clothing outside ot the pockets. Hence holes would be developed very slowly, and fewer articles would bo lost. In like manner, the practice of standing erect brings a heavy strain on femalo hairpins, since the force of gravitation constantly tends to drag the back hair from its foundation. Whereas if the' women were to go on all-foura the back hair would rest on the back of" the skull, the strain on the hairpity* ,r would be greatly reduced, and tho sudden loss of back hair would be very rare.

' It is so clear that man was meant to be a quadruped that the sooner we abandon pur pornicious Labit of walking on our. hind legs and return to our quadrupedal and nature state the better. Scientific persons should at once set the example of discarding bipedal habits. At first the effort of walking on all'fours will bo somewhat difficult, since the muscles of the leg have become accustomed to tho upright position. Also the first scientific persons who appear on the street on all fours will be mobbed by small boys, who cannot appreciate the high and holy motives which induce the Btudent of science to return to the state in which Nature designed that he should remain. In the case of the wires of' scientific persons, the adoption of quadrupedal habits will involve important changes of dross, and will entail the doubling of

their annual expenditure for shoes and : stockings. None of these petty diffi. oultica should, however, bo allowed to stand in the way of a great reform, We have done violence to Nature in trying to convince the world that we are bipeds. Let us hasten to abandon this vicious practice,,and take lessons from our babies in the art of walking on all fours.