RUBEN'S RIDE.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1481, 12 September 1883, Page 2

RUBEN'S RIDE.

i A young man wearing a big blue tie that flopped abont;his scrawny neck -„. like a flag at half roast on the dome of the City Hall, was accompanied to Central Park, New York, by his bride. After grtzing in wonder at, tho bears and lions in the raenagerie,!they passed out on the Fifth Avenue, where several -:;•?: youngroen in little capes and-knickei% .y bookers were Whirling by on ; bicycles.' '. • "Sakes alive! Men, look at them ■: buggies without any bed or bottom, M jist on jtwo wheels, one aforfi the other. \T I tell you a wan that kin ride such' ; an ' /-. ingynofas-.that is. no flat,": said .the bride,, following with'her' eyes the gay riders until they dwindled into mere ■ species in the distance, ' ~, ;.',.' ~.,"l.'spose you're sorry you'^ling your charm's away on mo, eh?. You ■ think tha't sompin 1 great riding one of them consarns., I never laid eyes on the, man that kin do anything in the ridiri' line that I can't' toiler,' replied the young husband, dropping :the arm ■ of the bride in a plain fit of jealousy. •■•'•■'' "Reuben,here aresonie more coming, jestiook!»; v ';;;;; ; .;':,'.:;';;'; i : ;-;,.;■'••■,, ~ "Hold on, mister,,switchoff a bit an' let me teke a look at that infernal. ingyne, . Will you let a /eller tiy his ', ~ luck on it? I never laid eyes on mule, '; horse, or jackass that could floor me. '-. I'm goin 1 to ride this machine or, Marg Blamer, you'll be a young widder.'' The wheelman gave, the, bicycle a"",,.. scientific, lurch that brought it oirciing • around the groom, and descending! he ; tendered the machine to thenovice.';

" Mag, the blasted thing araVgo't « saddle big enough for a babyi-.iNo matter. I reckon I kin do what I see done."

; In trying to mount the bycicle; ashe would a pillow horse, the groom of a day found himself spreading the eagle on tho cobble stone.

"You kick, do you. You:onery ; cuss, I'll git you this time, an'.'in,-the flank," ho said, as he made a desperate spring, striking the handle, which hooked him in the rear pocket of his black store coat, letting out a quart of peanuts, a recent present to his young wife. . : .

The owner of the bicycle told him to mount, steady himself, ■and he would run alongside to give the 'cycle a start, Reuben did, and by imng bin legs vigorously tho machine gambolled around the frightened bride like her big dog Tomer. Reuben made; a last desperate effort to steady himself; and shot out into the middle of the avenue, striking a goat-curt with the'force of a battery-ram. The goat-cart held a barrel of swill, which turned on its beam to receive to bicyclist as he shot into it with the precision of a circusrider going through a lioop, The bride and several wheelmen gathered round the prostrate form of the venturesome groom. He called his wife:

"Marge, if I go, keep my grave green. I uuißt have run into the boardin'-honse and butted my brains out hittin' agin' the walls of the soup kitchen,"