AN UNPLEASANT POSITION.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1439, 25 July 1883, Page 2

AN UNPLEASANT POSITION.

"Did you ever go shopping for women 1" inquired a sad-eyed young man. " Well, I did once, and I have had enough of it; You Bee, my landlady takes a motherly in me, talks to me just as sho would to her own son. You may think this is vory flattering to, me,,but Laskve you it has.i its disadvantages, The other morning my landlady told me she lost one of her garters coming home from a concert the evening before, and asked me to get her a pair on my way down town. I thoughtlessly consented. As I came down the street I thought I would go into White's. Having entered I tried to get my bearings by the lithographs on the wall, picturing all sorts of feminme harness: in: actual service.' As the lithographs began to grow more interesting,' I concluded .that I was in about the right latitude of garters, and halted at a counter presided over by a young woman with a mischievous eye. That's where I got into trouble. I felt ray face getting red, but. I firmly asked for a pair of garters, expecting her to hand them out forthwith. " What kind please 1 said she, in the most insinuating manner. "Oh something pretty good," I replied, painfully consoious that my ears, were blazing red. ". But what style do you want?" evidently gloating over my misery. Then it flashed upon me that there might be a hundred styles, and how was 1 to know what kind my landlady wore., My first impulse was to escape, but the door was too far away, and besides, my erraud : seemed lo have been telegraphed to every one of these girls, all of whom were eyeing me.' One of them had suddenly discovered that the counter needed dusting, and there she was, right whero blio ceuld hear everything I said. I asked what styles were generally called for, and the young lady began describirig-them with a minuteness which only increased my embarrasment/There was a circular kind sho said, and the suspender garter attached to the waist belt, and another kind that fastened to the corset,' and then took down ft lithograph showing the manner of wearing that kind of harness. I was in'a worse fix than ever, and I mentally swore I'd do no more errands for a woman.,, Here sho was explaining all this toggery and belaying tackle, and-expected me to know what kind of standing rigging my landlady was fitted out with. I looked at her in an appealing way, but she wouldn't help me out, and then fan inspiration of genius came to me. " What kind would you bo most likely to lose off in the street I" [asked in my innocent tone. That girl with tho duster must havo.thought of something funny just then, and then- when I went out with a pair of circular elastics in my pocket, 1 felt that every gj4. in that, store was njaking fu:i at hje, but I <}idys (fore to ; look round. Tho nexr time j go shopping for a, woman I will do it by telephone,-; American paper,