IN A SLEEPING CAR.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1438, 24 July 1883, Page 2

IN A SLEEPING CAR.

"My dear," said Mr Spoopendke, ramming his arm up, to his ear in the family travelling bag, " Say my dear, where is my nightshirt? Don't you know what you did with my nocturnal gurinent when you packed this measly grip-sack?"

'' Isn't it there ?" asked Mi's Spoopendyke, holding the curtains together with one hand while sho tried to do up her back hair with the other.

"I suppose it is," growled. Mr Spoopendyko, tumMm;; the things all over the lower berth. "It must bo there, it isn't here! Did yon bring any sleeping raiment for me, or have I got to roost on the edge of this lerth with my head on my arm likeadodgasted cooingdove all night 1 What's this thing anyway; Any mate to this V and Mr Spoopondyke unloaded a short sleeved garment with frills around the witch pockets. '" I suppose this had to come even if I stayed home 1 'Couldn't you have rented this out and brought me something to sleep in V and Mr Spoopendyko fired the obnoxious article into the upper berth and continued his explprations. " IWsure I put a night shirt, in for you," murmured Mrs ripoopendyke, clenching her hair, in her teeth »nd making a dive for tho valise. "It must bo in there somewhere."

" How many of these does it take to make a pair?" demanded Mr Spoopendyke, drawing out four or five stockings of different colors and designs, "May be that's it," and he grabbed another mystery and examined it intently. "Did I have any night shirts made of wire! Got tired of starching the measly things, and nbw you put iu springs to hold it out, don't you!"

" Let it alone! That's mine ?" squealed Mrs Spoopendyke, " I'll find your night shirt for you if you'll let things be!" and she fumbled around the bag in fruitless search for the missing garment. "Don't harry me, dear; and I'll find it if you give me time."

"I- s'pose yon want to give your notes for it den't ye f squealed Mr Spoopendyke, tipping the satchel upside down and rummaging around among the lures and pennies his wife had spent a day in packing. " Want thirty, sixty, and ninety days, and a couple of extentions of that night-shirt, don't ye? Get me pen, ink, and paper! he roared seating himself on the side of the berth and glearing at his wife. Develop the measly stationery and let us conclude this dodgasted mercantile transcription. Thirty days after date I promise to pay to'one Spoopendyke a pair of sleeves and a collar! Sixty days after date I promise to pay the same Spoopendyke one back and one stomach I Niuety days after dato I promise to pay the identical Spoopondyko one good and lawful undivided night shirt tail of tho realm! Who's your indorser ? Bring into my presence the millionaire who secures the negotiable instruments and, foaming at the mouth, Mr Spoopendyke went to the bag again and turned it inside out; "This is cash!" he yelled. Gee me my cash night shirt before the rest of these passengers begin to think a soda fountain has bust in this sleeping section?

" I dont know— I .' sighed Mrs'Spoopendyke. "Oh, ye don't I" howled Mr Spoopondyke. "Ye don't know! If we could only put sleeves and a buttonhole into what yon don't know, it would nnke night-shirts for the' teaming millions of this measly vale of tears I Where'dye put it? What was the geographical location of that nightshirt in its relation to that bag, when ye let go of the dodgasted thing?"

"As near as I can remember it was on the top," ruminated Mrs Spoopendyke trying to recollect if she might not have left it on the bed in the, hurry of getting away. " I'm pretty sure I put it on the top of the satchel." "Then let me grapple to the top pervaded by thelate lamented night-shirt!" snorted Mr Spoopendyke. "Place within my jurisdiction the measly top we long have sought, and mourned 'because we found it not! Dazzle my vision with a smoked-glass glimpse of that radiant top! Is this itt and Mr Spoopendyke held the bag bottom up-wards, and grinned at his wife till his. wisdom teeth stuck out like steeples. " Now, take this toil worn hand and lay it gently, oii'that; night; .shirt 1 Is this it)" and Mr Spoopea-' dyke grabbed a corset/waist,.!and' dangled it before■ his wife's eyes,

" Where's' the rest of it? Herd's Hie buttonholes and the place foi* the sleeves I Where's tie part that does the most good! May be you put that on the bottom!" " That isn't yours I" exclaimed Mrs '. Spbodendyke, snatching..it out of his 1 hand. "If yon hadn't everything up- .1 set here, I'd found it long ago. I M think-" I' There it is 1" howled Mr- Spoppen-? dyke "You think? And when you' commence to think, you only want an impediment in your speech and a waert on your nose to be academy of Sciences 1 Got an idea you cau sew a few thoughts. \ '- • on the bottom of tint bib and make it long enough for me in one night f

" Say dear," pleaded Mrs Spoopendyke. "Say,,dear, couldn't you wear one of mine just for this once ?" :■

:" Certainly,'' yelled Mr Spoopendyke; "I was'constructed short in the'artiis and thinin the neck for that express purpose I ;Give me that blue enamelled one with flounces: on'the chest'and hem-stitched, arm-hola), and the bow on ; the back. I think, my dear," >he con- < tinued with unnatural gravity, as he stepped into the garment as though it were a pair of trousers, " I think my dear, k is going to be a little short in the lege." / • "Those aro the sleeves," moaned Mrs Spoopendyke. • " I don't believe you .can get your arms in them, but I could'tie. them around your neck, and the skirts would keep you warm enough until morning." "That's the idea!" yelled Mr Spoopendyke, hopping out of the night dress, and flourishing it like a banner. " I knew you would hit it before you wound up! With all that brilliancy you only want to travel backwards, and have two nucleuses to be a Oenks' comet! Where's ray night shirt!" "Here it is, dear," smiled Mrs Spoopendyke, who had unearthed it from under his. overcoat. " I put it out for you, and when you' came, you throw your overcoat on top of it" . " Why didn't you. say so at first!" growled Mr Spoopendyke, • crawling into the garment and hustling into the back part of tho berth before his wifo could get there. " What d'ye want to, disturb the whole car for, and keep me awaks an hour longer than necessary ? Another time you pack to go travel- ' ling, you put things where you can find 'em, or hereafter you will do most of your travelling between tho front door and the back windows to see if I am coming homo!" and Mr Spoopendyke growled himself to sleep.

"I don't, care," murmured Mrs Spoopendyke, putting her shoes carefully under tho pillow so they wouldn't stick out under tho curtain and show the other women in the car what size she wore, " I don't care. He might have asked for his library or a stepladder, and then I would have been in trouble. I think I was fortunate that it was only his nightshirt!" aud with this consoling reflection the 'good woman crawled into bed and. lay awake half the night to find out if any one in her vicinity was in the habit of snoring,—Stanley Huntley.