THE BAD BOY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1412, 23 June 1883, Page 4

THE BAD BOY.

" Well, how is tho baby," asked the . .grocery nnin of the bad boy,-as:he carar : into thogroccry smelling very •'horsey, ,f ' ' ; ; nhd sat ; down.^ojif |io t} qlinii'. witl) ths back gone, and lo ik6'd',tii:ed!i ; ;i! ' !,i 0, (lani,the baby. Everybody asks. ; .mo i about the baby, tis though/¥ was £ mine.. I,don't pay no,attentibn!to the dam thing except to noticp the foplish:iiess going onj guess that baby will grow' up. to be a

- Ire-engine, The nurse, coupled,'tjho V baby. on to a section of . rubber/hose "•.that runs clown iiito a ■ bottle •of rililk, i; and it began te'gefc l Mip l | Bteam, ! ' i/ aii(l pretty soon the milk began to disappear . just like the iwater does, when firei engine couples on to a hydr/uifc. Pn calls the baby 'Old Number/IVo.', ;I 1 am 'Number Oiie,' and'if, pii, luid ,a< ; liook-aud-lacjder truck;, and a hose cart mid a lire gong, lie would' imagine: he,' was chief engineer of 'tlio fire depart- 1 mcnt. But the baby kicks on ; this milk waggon, and howls,like A (log that's get lost, The doctor told'pa the ; best thing he could do'was to get a goat, but pa said that since we 'nifciated.lum into tho' Masons with, the goat/he wouldn't have one around no how, The doctor told pa the, other kind of a goat* I think it was a Satnantba goat ho said wouldn't kick with his head, and pa sent mo up me up to the Polack settleniont to Bfio if I couldn't borrow a milk, goat for a fow, ; weeks.; I • got a woman; lo loud uk hor goat till the 'tab/' 'got. big enough to chew beef, for a dollar a week, and paid a dollar, in advance,. But I have got my opinion of a baby that will drink goat's tnilkv Gbsh, it is like the stuff that comes in a spoile d cocoauut. The baby hasii't thing but blub sincothe nurso coupled it on to the goat hydrant.., I hud to tako all my; play things ou'fc of/the basement to keep tho goat Irom eating them.. I guess the milk will taste of powder and singed hair now. The goat got to eating some Roman candles iiie and my chum had laid away in the coal bin and chewed them around the furnace, and the powder leaked out, and a coal fell out of the furnace on the hearth, and you'd a dide to see pa, and the hired girl and the goat,: You see l>a can't milk nothing but a milk waggon, and be got the hired girl to' milk the goat, and they were just, hunting around the basement for . tlio goat with a tin cup, ;wheii Iho. lire-works went -off. ■ Well',! thore was balls of green and tea and blue Are, and spilled, powder blazed' up, and (l the goat just looked astonished, and looked on as though it' was sorry so much good foddev had been spoiled, but when its hair begani to burn the goat gave one snort and went between pa and the hired girl like it was skot out of a.cannon, andit knocked pa over,a wash toiler into the coal bin, and the hired girl iii amongst the kindling wood, arid she Crossed herself and repeated the catokisni, and 'tho goat jumped up on top of the brick, furnace, ,and they couldn't get it; down, I heard the celebration arid went down and took pa by .the. pants mid pulled hira out of the coal bin, audi lie said he would surrondoiy arid plead guilty of being the biggest fool in Milwaukee. 1 pulled the kindling.'Wood! off tho hired girl, find then,she got mad' and mid she would , milkVthat; goat or die. 0, that girl has got sand. 1 She used to work in the 1 ;; gla3s factory, Well, sir, it was a sight, worth two ■shillings admission to see ; that hired girl get up on a step-ladder to milk that goat on the: top of^the• fuvriacej' with pa sitting on. the top pfa barrel , of potatoes bossing ttie;job.i' They are going, to fix a gang plank ■to'' get, the goat down off tho' furnafe, kicked on the last night.' : 1 guessbi'sidos .tasting : ot powder, and- burnt hair, ;the milk was too warm on ac ; count pf the furnace. Pa has. got to grow 'ft tiew Jot of hair, on' that igoat, or the woman won't take it backi >■ She don't want no bald goat, {Well; they' can run the baby and g6dt,.to suit 'oaus.e I hayq; resigned, 1 have gone into business.-: iDon't you smell anything that would lead yo.u to. surmise that! had gone'into business ? No drug-store' this time,".toid', the boy: got up and put.his.'tlinmbs in-tie armholes of his vest, and looked round; ' " o,' I don't know as I smell anything, except tho faint odor of a horseblanket. What have' o'ss;into, anyway," and tlio'grocery 1 niau put the wrapping paper under -the-counter, and put the red cha)k in .his pocket,'so the boy cpuldn't write Any sign to hang outride., ; " You hit it the 1 first time. I have accepted ft situation of teller in a livery stable," said the boy,' as he searchod around for the barrel of , cut sugar, which had been removed. ' [ "Teller in a livery stable.. Well, that is a new one on me,: jWhatis '&■ teller in a livery stable V< and':; the grocery man looked pleased/ jilid pointed the' boy to a barrel ( 6f 7, cent sugar. _ ;f 'V '

" Don't you know iwhat a tellor is in a livery stable? It is the safe i( toiler in a bank, I have to grecse tho hftrucsaes, oil tlio buggies and curry off the horses, and whon a man comes iu to hire a horse I havo to go down to tho saloon and tell the livery men,. a teller is. . I. Jike the toller part of it, but greasing harness is ii little too much for ray blood,,but, the livery man says that if I'sticlc' to'it I will be governor Boiiißday,'c&viße ipoßt' of all the great men ; have ; begum life * taking carei of horses.. It all dopenda on my girl whether Istiok or'nbt.' ' If she likes the smell of horses I shall be a statesman, but if she objects to it and sticks up her nose I shall not yearn to • tyll beats all, donViit, 'tiialHvimmli' settle every great question. Everybody does everything to pleaso ivimmen, and if they kiclf .ou anytLing thatvsettlea ifa But I must go and Mpire W gMe' ; between pa 'aftd the hired girl and the goat, Say, can't you come over and see the baby 'TavuJt tliHh a • amail satchel, and the boy waited till the grocery man went to draw some vinegar, when Jie tinned 9ut and put . . up a sign written, o/a shingle'.With' v white' chalk,'" yellow sand wanted for mapl*itfgar"- ' •''•