HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 5, Issue 1325, 12 March 1883, Page 3

HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.

On several different occasions during liia sixty years of lifo Bijah, the janitor of this court, lias attempted to sing and survived the experiment; The fact; that lie did not kill himself outright • r .probably encouraged him to another effort at long intervals, Tliree years, ago he sang one verse of the " Sweet Bnuid Bye" and got over the effects tliree weeks. Saturday morn--1 ing the fit to sing suddenly seized. him just' as;the court was about to open. He began on' John Brown's Body,' and before lie had reached the third line of the first verse -he had cleared the court room of spectators, some ofwhbm ran for the river at top speed. Bijahhad .drawn in a full ; breath to begin' the second verse when'his Honor arrived.; . He took in tho situation at a . 'glance, and'after hanging up, his coat remarked: A,': 'Mr Joy, you havo been a fixture of A) this court 'for many years, and it would seem lonesome to see a stranger occupying your place, but this thing must; be stopped!' •Thing!' ' Yes, sir 1 You. have no right to place the lives of your fellow citizens in peril.' ' I—l don't understand,' 'Mr Joy, let mo speak plainly and to the point, If you ever attempt to 'sing while on duty here I will send you up for six months. If you want to be musical hire a boat and row yourself down to Lake Erie and ten miles from the shore. I don't forbid you to write , poetry, but I emphatically warn you to . let the singing business alone.' • Bijah went into the corridor and leaned agamst the wall and cried. It was a sad blow, but it sjo for his benefit in the end. While. Jis not to . blame for his voice, he should certainly control it where the public peace is at stake;

now IT HAPPENED. The Widow White came out with a smile on her faco and-a 'Good morning, on her tongue, and remarked: 'Judge, I can tell you just how it happened.' ' Can you] You are real kind. Was it whiskey or beer I' ' Neither, sir, lam not the person the officer should have arrested.' 'ls that so 1 Your namo is here in the warrant, and the charge is drunkenness. I don't see how there can he any mistake. 1 ( But there is,' she persisted as she gave her apron a little shake. It was •this way, your Honor. The Widow Clark liyes next doov to me, and she got drunk Inst evening and raised such 11 row that a boy was sent to notify the police. When the officer arrived he made a mistake in the house and the person came and took me off thedoor step and told that if I bit him again he would cuff my ears. So iam not the widow wanted here, .I'll step out and > you can.send for the Widow Clark ' Mrs White, you amaze me 1' exV claimed the court, 1 Well, that's how it was, fir.' )' .' And you expect me to believe itJ' ' Of COUVSP.'

' Widow White, you were taken out ' of a corner grocery so intoxicated that 1 you could not walk, and you were - brought here in a waggon. The officer 1 will swear to that.' ' Isit possible 1 Why, what-a wicked " man be must bo I' . . . 1 X stall have to fine you ten dols.' 'I appeal and if I didn't appeal I opuldn'c raise the money.' ~ i ( ' Then you'll have to go up for thirty •. days.' 'I shall refuse to move afoot, and if any one touches me I shall faintaway !' , J 'No White 1 Go" quietly into^^^fe^.' « At a Bijah ad- ■ vanced to By the arm. As he reached out'she made a tremendous kick at bis left shin and fell back in a - faint. She was carefully gathered up and lugged into a corner, and after the lapse of twenty minutes, finding her- '• . self entirely neglected, she rose up and kicked over the chairs and said she'd •.rather go up than not. • THE CASE OF PERKINS. . (Is this James Perkins J' asked the court of a bald-headed, fat-faced man ■who came out rubbing his hands. 'lt is sir. Are you the Judge 1' ' 'I am.' -i 'Ah-thanks I It is a great relief ■ to find you here. Can you try my. case this week 1' : 'l.can try it this morning,' , : ' Thanks, I was afraid I might have 1 to wait a week or two. Is this charge intoxication? 'lt is,' 'Thanks, Will it be any trouble to . prove the charge ?' 'Not a bit. I'll swear the officer.' ' Oh, never mind. I presume I was ; intoxicated. If not too much trouble you may tell me the amount ot the fine usually imposed.' 1 It will be sdols in this case.' 'Thanks,, If that is not enough please say so, as I have about 40dols with me.' • 'That will do.' ' Thanks—here it is. Is everything perfectly satisfactory now ? •'Yes, sir.' 'Thanks. I never like, to leave a court without doiag the square thing. I presume J can retire now ?' : ' You can.' : ' ' Thanks. I always prefer to retire after closing up business.' : 'Don't come here again.- • 'Thanks; I won't. Please excuse the trouble I have-caused. I assure you that it was unavoidable,' ! 'You can go.' ' - Thanks—thanks—thanks. I'll go—- • I'm gone—thanks f j ; ;

Of the £14,000 aubaoribed for' the en-; I dowment of the Binhoprio of Riverina h is stated that none oame from ihe rcsidents. £IO,OOO was uiven by the Hon. W. Campbell, M.L o.,.and A'looo was subscribed iu EhgltinX. , Mr J. Allison, of Adelaide, hao juai completed the Arrangements lor the erection of a new theatre at Sydney, to be known as Her Majesty's, at the corner of Pitt and Market streets. The estimated cost is £60,000. . /». 1 - Vis. ' An ancient custom of the Bourbons was observed immediately after the christening of the lately-born Spanish Infanfn, that of having its ears pierced, This operation was performed by. the'little lady's Austrian medical attendant aud her mother.