UNKNOWN

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1239, 25 November 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

UNKNOWN

iii ; ,-|

■ j Sonpipf theitrarap-rQobblßj.'gbbbli), gobble!..-.' ■ jThoKen| l \icky''Go!irls.liold.tliaf.a'.coiivcfiioa' to' Christianity Tyhilo'tlie "cbnvmt was drunk' does : not.hold'g<So'dinlaw. ' '';.'':" ' ;';•■ *' . I Th'e Bpeotable'bf aidt of men"iiri : paihihe is iaid'to'fertinWe arf'tthimWcd Raihe'of '■Wafa i\h' i;. X';,; v;' ; :! -;?(.i ■!. :that Guatemala;wouldnover bo satisfied until it <■ QiWtemMdJngi,.! ....;.;,-.■';,,: ...,.;,'. .„<.,,;■; I Ife find hi3.,wjfc,not atlipme tlip.fj.lie took the sonp and.wroto.acroßß the'lb'oking,. g ! n'f?.j J "iJotsy Jrine ,ia, a bigjibol," ' 8ho" qnicndepwith''Jswife,,"- . " •'" ': : ':' ! A heart-brokeri widower' at 'Waterloo, lowa, ■ erected A ; pine slab 1 ovor'liis ■ wife's gravis, 'and prtsrhttdii'liriiidsbniopinho to tlie'vouiig lady who was sq;irery kind'to him "during' his sad." ffllctiOl);.'': ' .'.■ ! :■'■■' , '! . .■;,' ~' -■!<. '■" ; -People needn't' wonder;at.tlie fcnroity of good., servant,, girls; j The, good always "'(lip 'young,; anyway,; if. they,have, to.tako to .lighting the. tiro with keroione to. mnk'p the;.proyorb rr coiiie r (rue. ..-. | ;.. „ ■ ,;. /' V ';; i Said a celorod pteacliof l teeonUy:.," Ef de<b>jcendants ob tie rpo's'tor'Trhat Peter jras''fcjf'hiakViMbiso cb'c'ry Ume.'a It'is told, dnr would' be'' to Wwiio <ln%-':\»6rld that' yet coul'dn f t'heiiride;li6hs , c»oklO("i; , :''!i' : " i v •'

I HerdiusbnfidjiAvho,was svjtHher!on bonrd \]\t. ■jlilp, lionsted of liis ihttomo oi £4 OOQ.ayear.; and, when tho mushrooms-were shp Gxclaiuied;, "Cherrips?. rind Buch|tjitefe'.f.t9ms(',''•' .',.;, '., .; ! Troiu r tliJQ'llcvV'Mrr' on fnitli,' in'Bosldn ; —"l'vb got great,faitu in de.' Lord, 1 ' liQ. cried." '* Bf dp' Lord was to 'say' Jackson, go butt your head a«'airist dat tree', 1 -I've got faith to b'leeve' dot de tree' 'ud- be ■■ removed afore I got

j OneoftliO; Georgiajpapers, .'which, are notod • foj.tougli.stories.recqrttatliat,n.c^lfwalked into ; s the house of a citizen, linobaeirpd byttio mistress, ivent jntp, a bedroom, got .on a bedand laid down, After ri good'napit got'iip andmarchedbut. ! Girlsj corho' VVest! A Mayiusctts man paiilonlyiESforliugKinga' girl/' A Brooklyn man'paid'£l for osculating an unwilling' dam'-" scl. • An ■' lowa'- roan -liad'-to piit up £7SO for' kissing hid cook. ■' Tlie-.eoak's.the' ■ The' oldest .vessel afloat is a ship of tlirco hun-. drcd ;toii9, called., tho ■ True J'.ovc, She is over 6no hundred years old, and is. a .morebant. ship, • injnptivo duty, sailing under tho English flag. Her cpu'rsfi.inust havo ruu tolerably smooth, ■ ; .'■ I don't miss' my' church so much 'asj you suppose," Mld'ahdy to her minister, who"had called upon her during her illness, ' for I mako Betsy sit at tho windows "as soon- as the bells ■ begin to chime and toll mc who are going to ,: church, and ■whether theyhavo got on anything now.." . ~..; ..'■,-. .

: The Presiding Elder who.wcnt to conduct tlio(lcdication of a new Methodist Church at Grand (tepids, Mich., did not do it. The debt was not oil provided for, and he said he, had promised, God not to dedicate' any more duo billa.' niechanics' lions and mortgages!. • . •. ; A'Seheca coal miner sat, whilo pretty drunk, on the'railroad track'to doze- Soon a freight dame thundering along aud hurled'him. about fiirfjifect to oho side.' i Tho'train .was stopped', and the man startod back to shovel up tho.remains, hut.instead of finding a mangled mass of flesh .and : bones they found.thq 'man. coolly, looking around for .life, hat. He-ni 'flrst'.doniod, haying been.struck, but at last acknowledged' tho'corn. ■ ' ■.'"■■■' ■,'

! CHASING i RAILWAY TRAIN. :fpneofthoseridiouiousarid laughablojm'ident ; tpbosceiinyiio Ujiion Depot occasioiially oci cuvrail 'one afternoon latoly. A, countryman,. with'his'pants in" his boot top's," an urobrolln '• under hisi.ariri.'.n broad .brimmed straw hut'on lus\ : hea'd; aml : the indisponsablc linen 1 (luster. •■ •cbveririgliis'frame, arrived. on tho ■ New York,: Pennsylvania and Ohio train, with tlie intention, a's was subsequently developed, of going north.. via Buffalo, Pittsburg and Western railroad, ,He put in tlic ; timc intorvouinp between the or- • rival and' departure of tho trains, which was' half an hour, in digesting the time-tables posted up in the waiting roomj anil !not until his train began to move out did ho mako any preparation ■ to got aboard, Instantly his hair stood on end hu(T iiis ffica assumed the look of a mnn who bad sold'"short" yesterday morning. Ho rushed : Jiko a cyclone to tho ticket offico to procure tho ;; necessary pasteboard .passport, and by tho time he got out and lookoii for his train it was fast .disappearing around tho car shops, at tlio upper end ofthcoity»' i With a leuK of desperate dotermisation in his" ove lieiciied lili'hat In iiis hand, hiscotton'suasnedder in the o thcri' and .lit r out. Such'strides' 1 mortal man'nismf-miaWbofora. 'ln ton 1 seconds' l|o was toarihg'pa6t the barrel works likoawbirl-?!: iwindand'gainingoh.tho train ! nt every, flop of Jiis undmtandirigsi Butin.thlsica«e,a» it has., ; always bcen,ateam'power gained the mastory,, ; and the train soon left tho panting granger far .. in the rear, Tori minutes later a,pcrspiring, de-jected-looking duster,,with a, hat and' umbrella 'clingiiig.to It,'entered the depot and wilted into a seat, and, from tkoinmost recosjes of tho flimsy" outer garment camo the cheery remark: " Wal, I cal'klato I made hor hump hor boots •■■' to git out'n my way anyhow."—Oil City Der-:. rich :

"BEWAR OF DE. POLLYTISHUN." Brother Gardner blew bis noso with a report which sounded like tho pxplosibh of an Ohio River excursion steamer, gave ; his shirt collar a lilt which made tho stitches crack, and began with: : ■■■:■■■■.■

: " Bewnr* of do pollytislum! It ho am black, go outer yor vny to shun him., If ho nm white, look yer uirahs an' load yer eliotguns." ■ The old man pauaod here to look into Ms desk for a piece of slippory-olm, and YVajdown Bebee tookadvantago'of the opportunity to rise and inquire ' " JDoes the chair refer to awliito. man named Seeker Jackson.":

1 " Yes, de'cha'r refers todat worry pusson," ; replied tlie President, "Fur do las' fo' weeks,.be hasbindo plague of ray; life. ,I und«rstan' dat ho kalkerlates to run fur state senator ncx, fall, and he;am now tryin' to mnko hisself'solid wid do cull'd element; ;au' I further understand, dat he has potishunbd dis club fur membership, - an'dat he am buyin 1 ratth-boxo', tin whistles' an'mouth-organs fur cull'd babies in order, to' l gainde esteenvof deir parierits. Gem'lem, I ' fall—-" ; ■'■.'.-.■ I At that moment the sounds of a wrangle were ; heardintho ante-room, a struggle took place,'and the voice of Seeker Jaokson was heard cry- ■ ingout: j If- Lot go my hair or I'll call the police! My.,. platform is:, '.Throe dollars a barrel > for flour, ' six hoops on a barrel, and a horse and carriage to' take the laboring man to his daily toils.'" i At'a sigQßl; Irora: Brother Qardaer, Samuel; Shin and 'Giveridam Jones passed out; and in two or threeseconds after.there were iounds oh' breaking glass,' a bump; bump on the stairs,' and i ; then a voice floated up from-tbo dark alloy, saying: ~■.■ !■( You can throw.jne down stairs, cvory night In the week if yon want to 1 All I ask is that"■ you vote solid .for Seeker.Jackson on .election day." . , . ~" Poilytics," softly observed the President, " means lyin'; stealing cheatln', swindlln 1 . It moans degradashun. It means whisky, driinkeness, flghtin', stabbihVand rollin' in'do mud. Keep out of poilytics-' Keep a*iy iron poll/ttshuns, .Jfdis Seeker Jal'ksori attempts .:o ente'i' do sacred portals of dis haU'agin, de keiper ofd*. password anLbeah by autuoris>-d to, pulverise trim an' sell de pulveriiashun to d ; ' at two cents apound,"— Brother Qardiur to tht Detroit UmeMln Ckb.