Wit and Wisdom.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1233, 18 November 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

Wit and Wisdom.

Kindred Ms-Poor relations.; ( . , .„ ~', Back-Yates—The trains of ladies'' dresses, 1 Retired ftom' the "SerTii'.o I '—Ab'rok'enieacap' Tliqra are some nersons on whoinr virtue acta I alrnostuhgrticlousiy fisvicei; '.'■' : "'"" '.'.' Measure not thyself by the morning shadow, but by tho extent of thy uraro. ( ' Those: men whoso brains arofoff but active, aro,themo3t,successfulin.buslncss, : . .Many limitfor-liappiness are contlnuauyMtog fault. ..... _ ,»li.ii agiiu is.c'uaigodi,-what is the'amoiiut it has to pay?. ' ,'.'„ . '..,"'.. Wfiat tilings incroaso tho more you cbntfjict thoiri?—Debts. 1 ;'" '' ■' "■ Mankind all suffer alike, but s'onYo fcnow how to conceal l their troubles bottor ; tlian others. : Apparent Paradox.-A butcher ban'Bfll tho fnrcqnnrters of a'lamb, and'yet have two quarters Of it left.; ~. ; : ;;;.; ;, : ■ The, |' Record'?, says,;;" The last thing a man wanto to do is to'die." "Tk>n bis wishes are i gratified. ; It js t|ie Inst thing ho- does'. ~'.','■ Improvidence.—rMiiuyperswis lay'their mis--fortunes to Providence.' when they should lay tliWtojnproviildiieo,' 1 "'" ■"''". '■'.; ■' ■ '" At ah innin Suffolk county, tie landlord'has a sign posted up outsido his' door'. '' Good • beer fordo herc/.butdon:t take my word for it."' ■ ''. ; 'Moh ara sowing seeds of truth or error, of dishonesty or.integrity, everywhere they liveand everywhere thoy go, that will tako root in some. bqdy!slifej„, . ~.!. .. , : .. '. One' of the best epitaphs, and ■.'one of the jshprtet. also, is, that which Jerrold gavo' for i liatles'Kiiiirh't,'th".'ami»;ble' historian. It was simply\"Goo<l Knight." ■ ::! " ■ Teacher to Pupil:' 'Sp Ifbiitl r.'" Pupil: '■''B-u-t-a-r.'-Teanh'r: 'No,no You«o wrong; sit down.'.'—Pupil:. '• Vt ell, sir, tiin'ts tlie way mother spells it on the lodgers' bills, anyway.".,; >,..- ■,.,... ...,.„., AH men need truth as thoy need water ;.if wise .men are as high gtound.where tho springs rise, ordinary men.aro the lower grounds which tlieir waters,nourish..."'. '. '.','.',..''.',',"'■,".'..,." '..'•'■ .' Mark Twain! speaking of a hew mosquito nettingi'writcs ••-''The day is coming when weshall ■ait under bur note inchtlrch and slumber peacefully, whllo the discomfited files club togotlier and take ii out 6f tho minister."' 1 -: :'. '> Ifybuare aiquiety honest 'citizen,*, howi did ; - happen 4 to;belayour.cpat,-pockats?" ■" I.reckqn|iudgo, , rte and tlie policeman must, hare .changed., coats . in'tho scufflo., WeVero I ,Very much excited,".. There is no pldceinthe tvidb World, like.lioine. . If is trio dwelling-placet of our heart's treasure,/ - and the firstduty ( of our lives ■we oW« to it and: ite'inmatra/ To make it peasant and attractlw should be'the a\m! of every mani'' "■ : ' 'i <':■■'■ A> lecturer: on optics; m explaining the 'raft' chanism of the organ of remarked; 'fmfy any man'gaze.closelyinto his wife's eye. anaF'i' wi|l : 6ee himself looking so .exceedingly MUL the lecturer's.voice byshouts' of Jau'ghtcri'.. : , ' ;'., ','... '\ i, ," Hallo,'what is this I hear?" YoivwhYbava always, beon preaching.about'dlsinteriate'd loveand' decrylhg"m'arriages for money, about to,, fflarry'awidiiw'with'amillion." "AndaVyou \ ; tbink, slrj.that'l am selling tnysolf for : gold? Sir,' Hove theiwoman, arid would not hesitate-to many: her, if cliciimstances were••.changed and she hadn't more'n > half a million to, her name.",, ,;,,;., ■•}.. ]n . l -r...., i \- i ~-i 1!..-, ■„, .. A. Mothodist, itinprant,;preacher,,onciß.. break* .fasted ; at ii;:ho v use,,|wlifr6 'iohan'y ,'calwa' wore, served,.: .Observing'.'a •ieathV^prptr'iding'.'frdra■ , lib, cake, n he''.reniarWd/ yourjohniy cake"seeiriVfo be''.featflb'rrni out.':, " Yes," le'sponded tlie lady' unaba-hed; V : I told'J6hfi"ho longer ago than yeslerdayUhat he !mltatT4Wtor getacdver for tna'meal'harrel or niove '#i»n« robat.' 1 .':.. ' >.'; -■..' ■'-'.;;:.■• / ■';•„! ~-:>;.