IGNORANT FOLK.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1090, 3 June 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

IGNORANT FOLK.

A. nice crop of illustrations of ignorance might bo gathered by a curiosity mongor who kept his ears open, at any popular art exhibition. At the Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition, a family, party contemplated "The Bridal of Neptune" in great perplexity, until oue of them, a Massachusetts girl, said, "It's either .the Deluge or the bursting of the Worcester Dam.". "Tain'ttheDelugo," remarked .one-of her companions, V cause that.' ain't; the costume, of the period." "Then it's the Worcester Dam, sure," was: the response, as they moved on. At the same show a pair of country lasses stood admiring Atmann's copy of Paul Potter's masterpiece, Referring to her catalogue, one read, "The Young Bull, after Potter." "Yes,"exclaimed the other, "there's the bull, but where's Potter?" "Oh," replied her friend, pointing to the figure of the herdsman, "there he is, behind the tree," Morcabaurdly mistaken still.' wore- two -iair

ones much taken with a statuette of Andromeda, labelled, "executed in terra cotta." " Where is Terra Cotta ?" queried one. Said her friend, "I'm sure I don't know; but I pity the poor girl, wherever it is." Every-, body has heard of tho lady claiming the Dardanelles as her intimate friends, but few' are aware that au English'court of law perpetrated a similar blunder, Giving judg-. ment in a case wherein several witnesses had

deposed to the delivery of certain goods to Haidan Pasha, thb Court said that Haidan Pasha was undoubtedly a highly paid official, having power to bind his Government. In

tact, Haidan Pasha was nbt a man at,all,

but ft l'ailway station,. In justice'to Sir , Barnes Peacock and Sir Robert Collier it must be stated that none of the counsel eiigaged in tjie case werp in' il position to sot . tlieni right,'the error only being .'discovered ,' when the trial was'reported in : the news- : paper's, Nor'did 1 tho Benoh get much assistance from the Ear in a marine insurance oase concerning a ship lost in! Tub Harbour, Labrador, when the Judge', reduced to' ask the plaintiff's counsel where Labrador was,' received'the reply, "Labrador, my Lord, is : the place where Tub Harbour is 1" .Lawyers know' a great 'deal, but they dd liot know everything:' Dick' BartonV a witness in aii important marine case' tried at' Boston;'in 1 America, was dross-examined by Mr; Choate. Bartonhad stated that the nighrdn which the'ship of which he was 1 mate'had'eomp to, grief, was dark as' l pitbh;''and,'raining like seven'bells, '"Was' there any moon that night '"asked Choate. ' " Yea,' sir;' a full moon." "Did you see it'?". "Not a mite," I " Then how do 1 you kuow there was a moon f " Nautical Almanack said so,'"' '" And now tell me what latitude and longitude you crossed the equator in ?"' " Yoli're joking?"' "No.sii'l I'm'in earnest, and I desire you to ; answer me,"; "I'shan't.'.' ."You refuse to 1 answer, do you?" "Yes, because'! can't,"' "Indeed 1 You are chief mate of a clipper ship, iind unable to answer so simple tion?'', "Yes," : said the puzzled se'amaii, ; "it's'the simplest question 1 1 was ever asked in my life, 'I thought every fool of a lawyer knew there ain't no latitude on the equator!" Mr. Choate was satisfied, if no more pleased at'beiiig put' right than was the Lancashire lad wlioso;assertfon that Napoleon Bonaparte, was a cannibal, had poisoned the Pope, and shpt three wives, being controverted by Mr, Sulii, closed the discussion with, ''Theemay think thyself a mjghty pleyer lad, and thee may know a lot about Boneyparte, but I'll jump theo for two pound'!" Soon after the arrival of the welcome news from Waterloo, ia Cornish' squire, meeting some miuers, thought to gratify their ears by, the an- ' npuncement that peace was como at last, but was dumbfounded by one of them replying, "I never heefd nstheer'd been war yet I"

Such indifference regarding whatis going 'on in the world is nothing-uncommon;',Cod-ringtony.aiew : ji&ys home aa x \ Navariho, 'was greeted by a country, with, " How are you} Qodririg/, ton 1 1 haven't seen you for some tirae."Had 1 any. shooting - lately ?"..•'-Yes,. I:'have, hadsome,remarkableshqoting" said the Admjral. l as ,h'e 'passed oki his; way/',. At .the. anxious 1 , time whonwar. or peace_ depended ..upon ' America's answer"'tohpndVdomW' foT the release of Messrs, Masonand.SlidelL.a gentleman, going'info.the poking-room of-a; ..Welsh hotel, wasastpnished tqindthe .company ; there not.qnly unaware of, the existence : pf ; the.,envoys of the' South,','but actually ; ; ignorant that .there was any trouble in .the; ■States-an ignorance; shared by the farmers' who declined to,Bubsoribe. to. ihe'Lancaahire Belief Fund,.on the ,plea that, Lancashire folk; had : no .business to, go to war with, the lankoes, M\,Th|p,pne.day. , ontered,a'eot-, ,tage near Cauterets; occupied'byian old man Jianied M'elas, and inquired if Jie was not at .the sqhool of the Troia.Freres.'with Thiers'. ."Thiers! Thiers I",,echoed,,the cake-seller; .'.'yes, I remember, him; <a very mischievous b0y.",," Well," said : the great, little man, ,"I am ho." The, schoolmate, not at all disturbed,: asked what lip was doing. ," Well,", said ,the.'£resideni£ 'il'm doing nothing just now;, but.for a long-time I was Minister." What sort of minister'the village Nestor supposed he had beon was shown by his replying, "Ah, you wore a Protestanti,wore.n'tyou : ;"; ;:i...v;.;lt.would; be interesting to.know how many of,tho eleotori of "the,' United Kingdo- have any idea of what' they mean 1 when they J drib themselves' Liberal 6r'C6nsei*yativeV : A'va'sl number, we fancy,.'are no I 'bettor informed than Stephen, Noyes, the .Stroud voter,' who deposed'he only knew of "two parties,'-{lie yellows'.and blues'; and'bein'g,a man ,wh ; 6 could n'ot'understahd, was unable'to sa : y whe- ; ther'Mri Disraeli was'a'yellow'o'r'.a ; blueindeed,' he liad never heard that'gentleman's 'name before: "That of J Mrl' Gladstone"was. moro.familiar'tb him' 1 ; he'wafa Liberal,' ! he supposed'.' Pressed'to give Iris notion of what Liberals were,'he replied, "I think "tliey be the best' side of the party," under wMoh im> pression he;had doubtless cast his"'vote. Such political innodonce'is far 'more common than some people : imagine,' We 'once interviewed an old voter in thei -Midlands Iwlib protected he was' neither' Liberal nor' Tory, blueor yellow';' he was a cookedhat, like'his father' arid' grandfather' before' him >, ; but what'a cocked'hat might be, as to principle, wasrribre'thanhe'or anyone else 'could tell us.' Ho lia'd seen' a good 'many tough' tests in his'time,-and'with'all his'ignorance of political parties, was'nbt so verdant as the three young fellows who once stood gazing at a placard at Wymondhani, informing passers by that the Norwich election had resulted thus!—. '. ; ;' ,' ~..•:: •..!','. ■■■ Tillett :,..-:'•::■;.; 5877 • Wilkinson. ... ! : ~,. . • ..6079

. Majority ..,., j,,,.. ,-.,.,.798

Saidione, "That's abojit the .election; there was only two on 'em in.tho'.".,. "No," quoth the second," that's all, .the'two, top ones;'! while the third) ""as ho "walked away, observed, " Old Majority didn't get many, did he?" A traveller oa the Ohio overheard an odd dispute between two men. Said the first: " That was an awful winter, I tell you, _ The river was froze tight at Cincinnati, and the thermometer went down to twenty degrees below Cairo," "Below which?? queried,his puzzled mate. "Below Cairo, you lubberhead! You sec.when it freezes at Cairo, it must be pretty cold'; so they say somany degrees below Cairo." Tho unconvinced one replied: "No, they don't, you've got the wrong word, it's bo. many degrees below Nero. Idou'tknotv what it means, but that's what they say when it's dreadful cold."-#w« " Ignorant Folk," m All the. Year Round for December, '■