POPPING THE QUESTION.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1090, 3 June 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

POPPING THE QUESTION.

Pbpping the. c[uestion ia : in many instances \ a My simple and ea.sy, ,^)fair,', | .iong inti-1 ma.cy and ,a tacit; understanding.' have pre- ' pared; the way ; and reducecl. t0..» minimum I the 'difficulties.'.o'f tiie'sitiiatio.nV': .The 'pro'-' ppsal.has been aritieipated,'ahd; to all intents I and "purposes, 1 accepted,; .long, before, it is | mado.j and the formal deciaration is a aoure'e.' of neither, ombarrassmeht.ahd anxiety bh'the j o'ne'hahd, : jdqr purprise and indecision On; the j .Othe?.',' Eveu j 'without 'these acjvantagebus: 'conditions, spme men hav.^no.nibre^difficuity, about a proposal of marriago. than they'haye about any,ordinary business,negotiation-ji just as, on' the other hand, there are.'sbme who would .bo bvenyhelmedwith bashfulness and under, the, most favourable circumstances,/ At'.thesamb time ,that the 'former may Appear','too matW;6wact, .and; tlie.lat.ter conspicuously detieient in .maiiiy '■ solf-possessibh, the matter,under!i.Cy'nsidera.tibn—whether.,on account; of! difference .in wealth!;br. degreb, or Mty-otber. probable: motives' of is of ten, one of; | clelicacy; that it, would. involve, for nineteen! ,but of evjefy; twenty, puitors;'.a .v.ery.cohsid'erable amount of h'es'itatibh arid doubt.; '..;....'■..

•; _lrresolute ; Bwamsshouldj-however, bear in mind; that,',' faint heart never-, won.'affair lady;" and .their: retioence,-! would -.surely be overcome if they reflected for a :mome'nt on Shakspearo.'s. dictum: ■-!; ; ':' Tliathian.that bath a tongue, I say, ; is ; nd man, Ifwithliis tongue he caunoc win a woman. Constitutionally timid mon might',' if- necessary.- resort to some such as that of' the. youth Whose' ! blishfulnesV wdlild' hot admit of his'prop'oiing.direotly'tb the'bbjebt of hid affectiOni,bht who at Ib'h'g'th sumihbhed

up sufficient c'ourageib lift the young lady's eat and say': "Pussy, "may I.have .your mistress?" ,Jo which the young : lady.,very.' naturally and ..cleverly,responded i, '."Say, yes, pussy," Bashfulness on the partj! of lovers, and.)vant of courage in,;connection' with popping the momentous question have formed the subject of many a story. Here is one, '.

. A gentleman had long been paying ;atyen,tion to ,a young lady, whom lie was very anxious to marry, but to whom he had never ventured to declare his passion. , When, opportunity offered, his courage deserted liim, i and when he was resolved to speak, the,fair, one never.cbuld be found alone or disengaged. . Driven to.desperation, he one day succeeded in accomplishing his purpose in.a somewhat; j remarkable manner, at a dinner-party, To most people, a dinner-party would hardly seem the most suitable occasion for overtures of this description, especially when, !as,in this instance, the lady is seated at the opposite side of the table from her admirer. Tlie latter, however, was equal to the occasion. Tearing a-leaf from his pocket-book,', he wrote on it, under cover bf the table: ''Will you be my wife ? Write Yes. or No at'thb foot of this."

Calling a, servant,; he. asked him in a whisper to take the slip—whidh, of course, was carefully folded and ,direofced—to " the lady in blue'opp'bsite.". The servant did as requested; and the gentleman,, in an agony of suspense, watched him give it to the lady, and fixed his eyes, with, badly .disguised eagerness, to try and judge from her expression how the quaintly made offer was, received.' He had] forgotten one thing—namely, that ladies, seldom carry pencils about them at ; a dinner party. The .beloved one was,, however, no,t to be baffled, by so trifling an'obstaclei After reading thermite c.almly,'she turned to the servant, and .said: "Tell, the gentleman, Yes," They'were married in due cour so., \ ," .' '■[[ ',',. .Thedifficulty,of proposing to the young .lady is not 'always the .most serious 'one''the suitor has'to.encounte'r,; Popping the question., .to ono's' prospective. mother-in-law,.pr "asking papa,]* is frequently the more arduous undertaking of the two, When Professor Aytoun was wooing, Miss, Wilson, daughter of Professor Wilson, the famous " Chrisfcopher.liorth," he obtained the lady's consent conditionally on that of her father, being secured. This Aytoun was mucli' too shy to ask, and he prevailed upon the young lady herself to conduct the necessary negotiations, , '.'

; "We.must deal tenderly with his feel: ing's,"'said glorious old Christopher. "I'll write iny reply on a slip of paper,, and pin it to tho back of your frock,' 1 '•■■'' "Papa's answer is on the back of my

•dreßsj";said Misß-Jane'ias'she'entered the 1 drawifig-roomi'- -i -Turning j , her 1 ''round 1 , ,'th'ej delighted : Professor i> read' ;" With the author's compliments,'"'w- ■■■<kV ; :: Thelanguage in, which to proposal ought ; ■to be made is.a point which:has exercised; tlie minds of lovers imore j than toios't 'others. connected -with < their 'suit, f ulnf plays' and novels, asa'rulej'-tke 1 h'eroask'ihheHeroineto! be his wife; itf : nWery and Romantic e'xpi'es- 1 siqns; oven if ( h'e does not throw'himself'at ; her feetand'ihdulge'ln 'ii ,l .wild'Otitbu'rst il bf itnpassibned<:adoration.' Itis hot 't6b'[muoh to say thit'in real lifo : proposals are 'seldom; if everj'made'after.this fashion l ;, indeed, 1 any young man who ventured'iogo'-thWUgli'sfloh a performance' would lie pretty siire'to -get laughed at for his pains, In Ldfd' ; Beaconsfield's last'npvel; L an eccentrio' old nobleman, pops' the questibn in the f olibwinpiafebf- i fact language': '' I wonder if 'aflything'w'oUld 'everindiice ; ybulo marry mef ,| ->This'was ! evidently intehded'a'a ia'fresh' illua'tration'of | Lord'' MohtfofdV eccintricity/'j;. l ' but'i it : is| reallyihuplinfeater■tluV'terihs' hi' 1 whioli'the| average, man-projioseSJ'ithatt is" tli'd''av^ag l e; prppqsai'of the-'novelist,-' ''The'Americans',• we know,' carry everything to - exWmes/ and! "we are tbld that'tlieJN'ew York' yoiing'rnenl have reduced the formula of 'the; critical'prq-' 'positiontb'a'couplb' of' words—''ieti'i!' con-, solida'te," : 'Nothing,' however/' 1 'could 'he | neater or more ingenious l thta th'e'|prb'poSal of 'the Irishm'an l -wh6'; l thuS' l addressed ; tlie : rustic beauty upon' : whom ''lie' had set 'his, affections': "Biddy,''dariirit;i they've 'beeni tellin' me there's too many-bf' l 'us'ih ! the "world. ■' 'Nowj' if you an' me get' the : pr&te to'make'u's'twb -waiij troth an'wouldn't! there be wan tlie less?"' '■'■ ' : "'■■".' ■''"

Different customs' prevail in' different bpuntries in this as iii 1 other matters, A'curiotls ,cerembny,-' fdr' example,. is: associated '* With popping the 'qiiestibn 'ainon'g:'the ; 'Samdyedes 'of.'fiiissia.' When'a.yp'Urig'Sahio'ye'de'dbsires to'marry, aiidhas'cOiiie tp'ah'iili'deratahding with the "damsel of his-choice, he visits her father,' and,' with a'shbrt'stick, taps him, pud then Mo mother of'the' maiden; on; the shoulder.' : He then demands the girl in'marriage, and offers the' father -and .mother a glass of vodkawhich M brought 'with him;'-' 'As,a t'oken'of Kis good-will,'th'e'fdtlier drinks 'the'vodka; -hb tells the, young- man heh'as'iib bbjeptibn,'bu;tthat'he must'ask tlie! girl's" cbhseh't,'' y'b'uhg mail 1 cohiea "again,'thib time !acboiripahied'by\vhat"Berv(ints hb' has';'"anil'provitled' iWth,!tey ; jbf' v6dE!i; ! ''His'' retihiie remain rbbmahd seitajiimself 'by of his' ( 'lady-ibVei Tlie' father .hands' the' young m'aii 1 a glass' 'of yb'dka'i 'lie diinks Half, and' hands' the' halfi 'full !glas'sj!unde,r' his 'left'' ifrrrj/'to, tlid' girlj who finishes'the draught,''' Th + e ''father then

gives lils.daugliler a glass of vodka, and she. , in like-manner, drinks halt of it, and presents the remainder,.with her loft hand under, hor i rightarm, to her lover,. who drains the glass,; 1 Aftqr'this, the fabhor hands, a.piece.of raw iiiieat. to the young man, who, eats',it, arid | then takes a'piece from the floor, eats half, ;arid presents',the other half, under his left arm, to the girl to finish, She in turn takes a piece of meat, from the floor, eats half, and hands the'other half,.under her right arm, to the young man to finish, This extraordinary ceremonial would appear to complete :the,transaction, and' may be regarded, as synonymous with, our engagement, The ! feasting ;and other ritual, necessary to ratify the contract generally, take place soon or immediately'afterwards, '.. ; The most occasion for a proposal! Qf marriage, is another point to which loyers : attach no little importance, and rightly so, for an inopportune suit would iii all' probability prove unsuccessful,, The great aim should be to hit the tide which in the affairs of love, as in those of .men; '■" leads on to fortune," A. romantic.; situation'or surround-.! kings have generally,been'regarded, as, peculiarly appropriate 'to the proposition of the all-important question, There is on record at least' one instance ,of, a, proposal having been made in a balloon while soaring up into the .empyrean; and numerous.engageihents have no doubt been mado under equally novel and romantic circumstances, 1 . The loyer, however, who waits for an occasion of this kind may find, himself forestalled by another who has wisely taken advantage of ithe first favourable opportunity,' " So, you 'would not take me to be, twenty?"; said a young lady to her partner, while dancing the. polka one evening, ■"Whaji would you take me,for thon ?" "For better, for worse," replied he'; and. he. was accepted. Sere, is another, case in point, Riding home, from the hounds after a.certain famous county meet, a lady observed to ( ,her companion; ''Why should, we, hot marry, Sir John ?" " Ah I" • said Sir John, "that is what I havo often thought myself," And. married, they, were, The latter anecdote recalls the controversy winch has so often been waged as to whether,' it is competent for a lady to pop the [ question. Without entering into that question, even so far..as the leap-year prerogative is concerned, wo shall simply quote, an interesting example, the heroine being no other than the wife of M. do Lesseps.' This distin : - guished lady was. at La Ohcsnaye, when all 1 'Europe was astir, about the achievements; o'f the. Suez enterprise,, One.day, in the garden, ] she : saw De Lesseps walking on'a terrace, Sho plucked a rose, and going up to the' widower, bogged of. liini, for her sake, V wear it'at dinner. He asked whether she did not mean it for his son, No; it was for

,"»■',';'' -'.''ii jiM •■*.'. ,yi\\i."A -yinu>ii.vi rEinnßolf,')'i'D6''LeßS , epS'flipld£(e'd'to'ili#'''that l hetwason'the.wrdngside'of sixtf.JwJaile ** ! -WasinotyetmnbteeHiil-.That'dld^otmafc; ; what his age was had never ooourred'tO" her! ; Sh'e'kd'b'nly'thb'Uglttoßf.iliitf greatness' and. 1 hisf gobdnessi"' In' v short''>he Wftip'her' ! '&B& tied} How-wasit possible for a'ma'n reared tofedaob idOW'tlfe Sfeelirigsi.th'is»"c»iifeksitiii afou's'edN Time; do PragV- tb'irefleat?, and' she iwaS"''Made' i lb' «h'derstand that'no •frieiiafflip'.wblild fe lost WerS'isfo'to oha'nge'heririind atethVbaniiß had teen", published,' TW'.'marriap,-''hoW! ever; waseelebrated'cbntempofaneouslywith 'thß'Suez/<rto,'J fell ?;i,i vo; ';.;,,; aw.'.h 7(1 ,; >'Thb' Marquis'of LOrnei«oitiversiligre : (!eiitly bn-Cariada'aS'lt field'for' effligratioh', : observed to'' the- 1 present" writer' that 1 who wentioiit'to that , 'oountry , w()uld-p"an offer of l Of -this! biWthMOllowih'g brlcFanecdOtes') whifih'ppfficall'y illustrate the'rapi'dipfbg'ress' that' niatrifflbnial negotiat tiOns n fiiakß''in , realkigrittt'life,"")' 1 ' "if'"'' !;! «HOw'dfd : jou'manftge'tb^ri l heif tions so quickly Dan!" askeli"bbß' , 6Bttler'b'f ! another;"-"The fedip"e'S'w'brth''kßo'wing'i'' •" ".Ohi' l thatV6'implVblidllghi"re'plied Dan. :"The •fitat-night l arrived atVttie' 1 'lodging, < hbUsp at 'Auoklaiidi 'T.'fou'nd'.'niyself' sitting! 'next'W'ayOuhg womaiiat stipper/Who 'l'soiln | found was one of the'iJewly.torrived "emigrants', j I'lobkeMer Overhand saw 5 a' rbund/'s'trong, I che'ery-lobkingiass', witti M i thought'shb'd'db! knoW'BowitO'gb' foolin'. around her ft/'fittd'/SsOft l place)' but - : justspoke a word'br two' with'herj. and 'when we'eome 'out'intb ; tlie a pass'age/1 giVes'her'a squeeze' ••'Saj'S'Bhb: 'Sbw'dare you?' 1 : Saysii-V.'-"I w'antsltO'ma'rry ybuV'my dear.-'Marry 'me'! I '' sayS'Shej 'laughing, 'Why, I-don't know.you;'- 'rip in'OW do I you,' my rj''so'tha : t makes it all fair and didn't know Hbwto put! a stopper' on' that,' ; sb'she 'only 'laughed and' said''she' couldn't'think"of' it,'"•'Not' think of it?,'<'says IV artful like )■''• not'when yoii'vo conieall those thousands'bf miles'fbf the purposed— '-Whatdo' you mean?' 'says she, Btar'tingi .'Come rioW,'' says'!,■'don't tell me. I knows what|s what, 1 ' Wheii'ia man irrimigratibnises; it's to-get wbrk j 'when a woman'immigi'atibnisesji't'fl'tO'get Carried, You -may'say' si" at r once.'^—Well* she w'rig-gledU-bit'j bui'w'e 1 Wbi'splibbd twtf diysi afterwards.'/"'''" •'<:'"■', J- '■[■'■' _■•■ ' ,n\r, ; ;-"-One-dayV"a' Widowetfrjjm'New York State ] app&ared'int'absib'gy Mjehig'an', ori'bu ; The:sime business; cSMed 'Hint' Over to 1 Do WittiJeight ; miles : 'away." Whstfenwitti,'hi ■ stoppedjai a ( lo'f fattohbuse tO'w'arm, hid'cOld fingers.] was warmly welopmed'-by the, ■ jJiOh'eJr .-and' l#'wife; ; bbth : of'whom' were ■ well up[ih .year's,'and ate some gehkal talk;

: the woman asked: "Am I "right in thinking ' you are a widower?" " Yes,"r-"Did you come out find ia wife?" !'Partly," i-"Did anybody tell you of oiir Susie?' 1 | we've got as bouncing a girl j of twenty-two as you ever' seteyes on.. She's ; good-looking,. healthy,, aud good-tempered, , and I think she'll like your/looks." "Where . is she ?"—"Over in the woods here, chopping ; down 1 a. coon-tree,.' Shall I blow the horn for her?" "No; if you'll keep an eye on my hprs'o, I'll find her."-" Well, there's' ■nothing stuok-up or affected about our Susie, lShe'll say Yes or No as soon as shelbok's you over. If you want her, don't be afraid to ;say so." ' ,' .;'; I The stranger heard tho'sound of her axe, |and followed it.,'He found her just as' the itree was ready to fall,',. She'was a 'stout, jgood'-looking girl,.'swinging-her axe like a.' ;man; and inotK'er two minutes ho was say-' ling: " Susie,, I'm a widower'from New York 1 State; I'm thirty-nine yews old, have, ohe' jchild, own ag'oodfarm, and I want "a wife,! .Will you' : go back home with' hie ?" .; ] ■' . ,Slie leanedontheaxe, and looked, at him for half a minute,, and then replied: " Can't ;say„for certain; just wait, till,l,get these, icoons off mymind." She sent, the tree crashing to. earth j and, with hisheln, killed.fiye coons, which were stowed away in a liollov?. ' '■ Well, what do you say ?" he a'sk'edj- as the last coon stopped kicking,- "I'm yoursy" was'the reply;' "and by the timeyou get back from De Witt,'- I'll ihavo these skins off!: ,tho coons and tucked up, and be ready for the preacher."■ ■'■ ' ■' ■ He-returned to: the house) told the old folks that ho would bring the preacher back iwithhim, and at dusk the 'twain were married, _ Hardly an hour had been wasted in courting, yet he took home one of the best girls in the State of Michigan; ■■•■■ •; • • ■:•' i 'Before a man makes a proposal of marriage,: lie ought to consider well thei answer he is likely to receive, as well as howhe is pre-' ipafed't'o reply to certain (pieties which may' be asked of hjm in return—siich, for example, ; as that of the young lady who, though Scarco for emotion could she speak, Yet did she ask in accents " How much have you a year?" In these days of Married Women's Property Bills, wbVthe "equality of the sexes" is so. stoutly contended for in this and other respects,' tlie, lady takes amuch more active share in the negotiation of such'matters than; in former .days,,, However secure a wonian may, seek, .to make her .position in the matrimonial 'firm, it is hot oftenth'atshe avows at' the outset her intention to ja'ct as general manager, throughout .'in tho direction of affairs.' 'fhis occurred, however, in the case of a boating friend of ours, who recently

aiked ; aopretty but young lady,to r '! row-'in'tha aadie'iboat V with himiifor'.'lifeiii J'V, On', bne'■oondiK'onj'ijißho tpfoinp'tly 'answered'; <« and'thatis-I steeri'J utllorthJ benefit ofaejeotedlbverßj .weißhall in (idnolMionqu'dtethe following sage .whioh/!.wi(!li''.Botrte'modifioaiioni inuvery'ew ceritionatoases;they.would do'WeUi»fofiovrf I Mlf aigirlvonoe'rofuses'to marry .youydoflift piakiainobdleofiyourselfibyhangihgaround hefcandlpertistinginybur.suifcj for.if <ybuio cause (your offyour bourting pertinacity 'aslongiias.jtouD wedded life Isbm;) i' <Tlie:saf est. way; in 'nineteen cases out'bftwentjr, is'to 1 takeja'girl'at her w,6ra\"