Wit and Wisdom.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1073, 13 May 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

Wit and Wisdom.

. I A-lpr Joi«y I man''a3M ; his 'tiifo; u, Wliat'H' w I ta'touf-gldM?'-" 'W!mmf=m sh'e/^it"is-"-*-' 'sora'etliing to meosurOetinie by-r-'th'atlsj'the "betweendrinlra."-•/■: ]•: «;-•:::■.' ■'.•"■::;{•;';■■■ ■• | itlmt;too mupyce;c«anjLwould,-mke j; hto'M%, - ff'Meil an mp.^caifM^f V . ..„•-■.., .of a miior iiJsf decysed'.'::" Did'M-loaW'<nF" tfuilfe? , ''4ed I sfflf ! ;«Hb l hiia;io; i^u, Wß'' 1 laconic answer of Fogg/, • !f! ' ■ t v ' ""•''. ~,T ':'■'*'''■ mysolfiitsaidißoblriso'ni'i-'.'.l) slibuld tlilnk:'vo# '\yould have got.utedioitbyithisEtime,'-. ,, ixepliedi r J 'Foggj.catelessly/' ';;-., ■;; -,• :"'■-.-•:-'w7,-1 t J TJie fllhu]fl tijito,;; [bufwhep maa,,ca;jel bis initials', ißbp'uld.ttftam"ftpm sotiin'BjhKda^'a/cantuW': I !"YoyatffaustamanwholoTes'ahpWa' dr'S' Wodstft-RtiWaftt 1 . dogS;;biit'lots of men'BavßtgoneW the penitent' tiary&lov'ingjotlier &oplo's l lior3esj:iiot but too well, . ,-.!;Vr •■!•/••-• \:fr.'; .(!■;?■; [ EpfflßiAbb.ptti.baß. inxested;a;iieK shajleßJt6B'tq dispose of.fhe.oldjot.at.costjho.oaji; at this o race puj; r of,business ,'.-. i to'tes;' k'&im-ijian-of fficlinioM/.M %di ! ;#u>tliijr JrivoFcaMEMpito UiaFhavet'tlie ihc'oM of-llie' : YiindeMH'-M liave nothing toB6. .v;:::.''.:"-: \' hr-v- '

! Aiyoungjman.whoss.moustachais Ujcedaigi—- .',' ths,BvidencQ.of<i|iingfcligpe(lJor, flie aiibstance-- : ot JtWpgMQfeyoJ- fath^in;la^ara.jwve:4otfej-tkyif.fafeßM{-tliat'jfwill'not jlr,; scli6or*fioiirs,' ,f '' sarcaj'ficallf 'remaffiedv W. old" : man. . . .yfttyfiwf:

I Definitions: dasa-ia arithmetic, i Teacher: ' '■' Wfat.-u.-a- TulgarAfracHonJ'.'-.'-'tupil naughty; fractionAl TeacJieri 'fWhat-ls sub- . frMtioaJi'vPtipJlji'SHOoklngchetrWl .TeachorJi: " ,What,is additiqn,?','., 'Pupil; : ;" looking' nojnjj.;/' ■ mppnoxMayA Teacher: WhatJs ; ,TBa}iUM.sVi What i3'%risionJ'^^upUl-'' l^QoihKinacH: ; ; X'd^-'at'WilcanhTi 1 is watching the grave ofa-', srabwjddrij'aijd to 'persM;whi)"*ouifla y |'gift''; ; {Le'trflihb''any tbiiig are foe'dirig hftbe'a'tij ShrcwJ f;: dog.!,' Ho knows how!toget a'Hvingeasily.~ r'-? j :!-•- ! An6ld:angleraiip;thattt:flsh;doos n'otßufiw]" ■ nmchpaiaftorftbspgJiobked; Otco.iirse.not. It;., is the hoKhis.wdghtwill.beJiedahput-. ■ffiiich.cd^esjhiraijanguilshi" • ." ",'■','-' '•'.'■':.:. i l , !ie"slir%dybuiiig.ji)anj when for.the,. ■. summeMsort, p'utsby, alot.of fiue - Bay ,'r be'ciijdyeijiiy'tlie.fioterclerk.''-'M;the jlhrawA'.' yo'ii.ilgma'ii tOthoiiret'tiesVgjriii' . Wh6ro"ifjripra'n(iS''ia'blissV' MisrFe'aflierTdss,-'' sitting Id r tlie frout pew iti her gtfrgcoiis nW'hat, !y; was to'tallybblivio&of. the innocent'; little'! tig; > that .told!to .the'oongrogatiod tbn'tltlint. stunning',.; spray Oftflfttvo^cost-berjjftstJ/2a. 6A t " '-V;,-.' , A girl, says the Philadelphia, Chrowfa. who, has.liadjßovpral yeatf' cxperionco^n Is'weil q ualifjed .to,bqcom6 n.swjtcli-ten'devSko,. ought also to' liavq abquired a ; gppdkuowlqdge' off; bear'srgrease in order to gii'altiy nor "for- aTSar:" tender.-'"'' ° '. : . •-■■'■ r "' !i; ■'■ ■•' '- : -. ■'■' iV '\^ '" Mirrors should never be hung iip," says a,.' writer on domestic economy, ''where the sun" will rest upon' tliemj" and, slid should havoadddd, nor where tlio.'daughters could, res't.'upon them; either, There. B,lio.u!d-bc;uo.discrimma.t(ott:iii: favor of oither.sex.., - : .... ,-,,..:.... • ..... Thoroughness.—Aunt aiatilda: *! And dp you study geography, JaMl'.'/J'auet',:," Geography.?' I'should ; think .80,' indeed!"' ■ Aunt 'Matilda:• "'WliereVGlafgow?!!''Janet: "Glasgow? .Oh, we haven't got as far as.that! We've onlj/'g'ot as' far as Asia.'""•" ■"'< ■"' " : ' '•■,-'•'':' "Cdnchihg"—Oiir 'llus-drivcf: ''Stontshin' the amowsmont the'nrrystocracy finds in' ; it, sir!'. Butj)'ra'plis its agobb" Ming, y! know, sir-rglves 'em fresh air, an' occypics their minds, andiktops. 'em put.o' tho public 'ouso-leastwayj thqcluus, Imcan,sir.i"., .-. ' . ■■ , .Two. brave youug ladles, civile alone one even>, jug recently, wefeftlieafsirijj lipvy}to dispatglC a"' burglar if one were suddenly to apperir ia- the'*' rooni, One of, the horuiues was armed wttU her brother's cavalry swqrd'and the 'other flourished a hatchetr 'ln'tlie midst of tho' rehearsal a' "frightful monster!' in the shape of anioujoran" across tho floor, when olio of the girls incontinently fainted and the qthor .smashed a, &% mirror ■ in attempting to climb upon tho '■ i _The 4roosy,,spcaks ofja," German wedding." German' silver a'raong'bthbr.'metajf is . .just a trifle raoro yaluabldtlian tin,'aiid thofotore" ; tlid'iiffiiir is riot altbgoihbr valueless."''''' : ' ■''. ] . When the Old Testamont is revised and,mod'ornized it Will, probably 'state that Adam',' after eating the apple) received word that his resign a-' 'tion'would bo accepted." : - ■• ': ''Worth, gets, his-b'oantiful combinations of ■co'orfroni studying.the "plumago of;birds.'"-" If ' '. Wqrtj- isr-csponsible for soniq of4ho : color comibinatipns.we Ijave seen this summer, we, suspect, , he'has ineliidedtho Stnto Prison.bird.amorig, his' jSubjectJs of study,'" '' '"'"' ' : ' : ' :;: ■■'" j ; Not long ago,in a French provincial thdatje, I a baritone 'matlo a fearful croak! •' His-iis'' 'and laugiitbriil'theaudience..'Thoutho artist'cairie 'gravely forward and saluted the audlenCei' ! " ; Messieurs', Ldiscover that I have issued:a false 'notej'liwithdfawitfrbm'circulation.". ' I An,, oldj ievojutioqaire has directed, that, the •following inscription, be engravod;upon his tomb: j .. .....' ..Here'liesfJitizen.X., ""'' " . . Ayyaitingi|ie'finaljipsiirrection, .. : Ifypujivwin'Kalamazpo you would noj; have : ,to buy tlie, poems of' Oscar 'ffilde." Ydu 'could ! was sllb'n't,'soft; superb. •A splendid'moon r ß'frodb : across the ; bare; blue' heavens)'floodingtjibearthwith- glorious light." ■ of absurdities iu women's dress brings ; o'no face to face with a'vyido.andfascinating fleld.: of luqniry and,',.camme.nt, into, which, however,the wisp editor.will ; npt vontp," Ho may, however, riiit pnajjeg Wp r'tfie! ifence; to .rgrriavk; that; •■the practice'dr-wearing'tbn-ibutto'n'blaijk kid; "gloves upon the streets on hot-wind days, is"ond' ; whpse.goodtastemay '. : '"'\ ' " ' ' : '. ; '': ,,:i ':' : Aw'^Dl.';libT,'BOT'-'-' ' ■'■'''■ An elderly raaideu ofChcster ■' : Said;thb heatif annoyed and oppressed 'or: i, "rAwillingly.hid. .-:-■■-. .:■■■• V Mo away anadje!" < • •■; She qbseryed,to.the priost,who confessed,'or, But Ins displcasurb •- Pbf,'were'she.tb.die,' ! " ' '.' .. In the heat by an^ 1 bye She'd fipd'i't Snqfeaspd beyond measure.