WANTED A BARMAID.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1067, 6 May 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

WANTED A BARMAID.

Wanted a barmaid, both witty and pretty, To'wait on the "swells" of this beautiful city; A charming younpf maiden to lure the young men, Not a buxom and fussy repulsive old hen, Hor faco must bo lovely, her manners divine, Her costume tho last a la mode of the timo; Her teoth must be pearly, her hands white and 1 small; : Her figure most gracoful, not stumpy, nor tall. And -to save further trouble—she needn't apply If lior hair is of" ginger" or any thing nigh. Sho must laugh at tho jokes of each la-di-dah, ... And.say " thoy're the best that she's heard of. ty .far;'! Sho must mako each imbiber believe he's "her own," And adopt a confiding and sorrowful tono, With a look in her eye of distrait and ennui, That is all thro " liim," as lie plainly can sco; And when they name" Foster," a big bottle, toe, She must strain at tho cork, and at last cry "will you?" Till twelve eager hands nro hold up to hor viow, For tho bliss of a pull at that stubborn corkscrew; While exhausted shoslips on the scatnear at hand, And sighs a sivcot sigh to each oue of tho band,... . As languidly looking on vacancy round She holds them cntrancod on Elysium's ground; And as any oxcuse is fur bettor than none, They call for more liquor to "keep up the fun," A legitimate reason lor hovMng around, Whoro beauty and blandishment freely abound, While tlioir wives and their sweethearts (ah! here comes tho rub) Believo they ara "seeing a friend at tho club"; Or while they aro cutting their amorous capers, Imagino they're reading the uows in the papers! Of course, novor thinking tlmt two dreamy eyes Arowhisp'ring "sweetnothings" inidrososand siffhsj That the drink they're imbibing is Essence of Bliss, Which is mixed with soiuo Nectar, two spoons, and a kiss, The pay will bo ample, tho work very light, Just to flirt with tho follows from morning till nightj ' • And the brighter the eyes so tho higher the paj', With a proforenco for one who lias "plenty to say." So send up your photos per first morning post, Addressed to the missus, but not to mine host! ; —Tasmnian Mail.