POLICE STORIES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 4, Issue 1020, 11 March 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

POLICE STORIES.

. B\- w.;w. .1.., ~v :. , : r WpMAN'S If there is one habit more'detrimental to thc;dignjty.(if ,L may use the iii counoc-, tioDj such an tumble .memfcr of society) of ft;pph?em#n it is ,tha,t,o| 'goasippirig \vitli' tho 'membcrsjof families on Ihls boat,' especir' ally with tlife female members;' atid if 1 Kid personally any.auttiority'i'a/'tho''force,',t should,; put i 8 in iioto.Stilfth'ere, arecajos which » constalile may, harmlessly, i ll( lulgo, hi raself iiy fe#.mipites\rela'xatibn ; in ths,way, as IjUsed myself to do without any when,the' following odd circumstances occurred." 1 ' About half-vfty ~dovm this bye-street were two small cottages under one roof ; and preseating togethor.' skVo for the low railing that divided. the front garden plot, the appearance of only one house. , .One .yerandafa ran along the,front of the little.building from end to end,-and; contrary ...to. the usiiaLstyle'in siicV cottage?,' the two, windows were in th'i centre and thef deors.at oitlier end.,, . With one of the 'occupants of these humble little tenements I;:got>pretty intimate when, ontoight'dutyinHeiWAs a rriiddle-aged,- single, man, of quiet habits, and .was second vipl wist in ther orohesfcra ofione of the, theatres., This, decent manj whose name was Neidpath, lived entirely; alone,; and l , as hiß work .was night work; 1 , he seldom went out save for .necessary purchita during ,she day, -i; Nevertheless, Nddpnth' amused himself in the way'most'pleasing to'himself, and also the ihoit'profitable. : . He practised oh his inBtruiileiit'almost'eyeiy 'hour that was not deToted, to rest/save only on Sunday, (for he was a' rdgnlar and steady church-goer, and an observer'of, the one in seven days'rest from all 'amusement as well'as I 'labor.- Many ai pause Iwas won't 'to make near Neidpath's feflce! wheii I was'on duty, for he was an exceptionally good violinist, and rendered his, pieces with an'expression and feeling that told his'own experience of'their several beauties.' 1 ■: " To lethad been for some time exhibited on'the'premises attached to Neidpath's—that is 'to say, the other end of the.tenement was empty; but one evening, when I walked past, I' observed that it was once moro tenanted; and, as it would appear, by a single woman; 1 ■' ■ :■ ; _ Only that it is impossible to faucy n hop-o'-my-thumb bird with a wrinkled face and a half-dozen of iittle false curls swaying over ite- peeping l eyes, I should say that the new tenant reminded me of. a twittering sparrow thiit could not rest upon one leg for : two minutes together.' Her affected juvenility of dress, her fluttering ribbons, and: her screwed in' waist, not to speak of the flat chest and prominent bones, must have formed the most admirable of objects in the maid's own estimation, for every movement was by way:of displaying them and her extreme agility. From leaf to leaf she skipped like a butterfly, and made sudden little pirouettes on her high heels, and turned herdyediand ringleted head from side to side in such a double-jointed ronnner that it was quite impossible to weight her with the fifty years her old phiz declared her to' be. But this especial activity in movement I have observed to be an invariable accomplishment of Indies anxious to create an impression of youth in the minds of credulous beholders. •

"Good evening, constable,'" this fair lady saa'd to me as I was passing, and she eaid it with' a prim affectation, and such a screw in. of l her withered lips that I felt like laughing in her old face. ■ 11 He 11 see you don't know me, I only moved here to-day. lam Miss Hubbartz. Pray what kind of neighborhood is* this ? Is it one that is likely, to ba congenial to—a single lady! ■ He-he-bc I" Very'congenial, indeed, ma'm," I replied to Ibis giggle," especially so far as your next door neighbor is concerned, : Mr..Nei'lp,itb is a'very nice gentleman indeed, and to my certain knowledge he is on the lookout for a wife," ■ ■ ~ " Mr.'Neidpath lOh JI have the pleasure of knowing him. He-he-hbl He's a musician, isn't he ! Oh I it is so pleasant to have some one you know in the vicinity;" : ; Yes, indeed, so you'd bettcr ( see and.keep' Mr.-' Neidpath in' your ivieinity,always,!' I observed with.-'ds Httlp respect ps J felt; jet I was jewatded false little curlsi'that ought' to: hav,e been irresistible. It sd happened that'Neidpoth had been out that evening on his new neighbor's arrival, and I had tbe pleasure of communicating to him the interesting news that he had got a neighbor iivthe double cottage. ; " I congratulate yott/' I saidr.as I met him returning home, "yoa've got ii neighbor at last, and. a most' interesting one',' But lam forgetting, ihe told meshe 1 was aequalnted'with you 7" '. ''A neighbor?' 1 he questioned. "In the other end of the cottage, is it? Acquainted with me? Good Lord! it's not MissHubbartz," " '. !ni ;

"Thatis tlio name'thdla'dy give me| certainly," I replied, with a laugh atpoorNddpath's evident consternation, " But why do you seem 6o horrified? She'appeared delighted with her neighbor," ! 1 '"Ay, that's just it," he returned, with a groan, as he'took his handkerchief out Of his hat, nnd wiped the perspiration' off his face wjtb atrembing hand. • "In thd name of heaven, what am ito do, —•? Thift desperate woman has already driven me out of 8 . snu frhouße three times. Am Ito be sent from thisto a lunatic asylum ?' "Isi tso bad ?, What does she do f" "Do?. She's determined to marry me, that's all! Never was an-unfortunate man hunted down (is I have beet). •'She'j a devil, that's what she is, the wretch I She knows that I am a niiturally qui6t man, and willing to,put up with a good deal for peace sake, but' I'm'not going to be poisoned by MissHubbarlz, or married either." ■' 1 < / ' "Poisoned I" ... ■ ." yes, I have, been nearly at my wit's end ! to escape what she calls her little offerings: sometimes it's a little Cake and sometlmeß a ; little pie, Sometimes she has a Welsh rarebit ready for me when I c'ome home in the\ middle of the night and she'll stand and call out |in loud whispers, 'Meester, Ncedpath! Meester Needpath!' until every head in the neighborhood is over -the fences to see our meeting.' She makes 'perfume sachets for me, and tries to put flowers in my biitton hole when I'm going out. So I'll have to leave at once and,live under 3 railway-bridge I" ■ It was impossible to help laughing at the poor man's woeful appearance as he gave this list of his 'grievances at the amatory old j maid's hand, yet his distress was so evidently I genuinp'that I pitied him, " '.v - 1 "Uali I", I ( ijaid;, "that fair dame's rule I may bo made to .work both ways. • Makeher clear out." , ' ." ';; "It isn't-in' ; the power of;living man 1" he | cried 5 ,' will stick to me like a burr.so,lohg.as, my,being single gives her tho ghost of a chance." „'

11 n thenj" ; l ; advised. wet married with as little delay as elver you can."' 1 , ■' "Ifeyer,! The woman I would SMrifice/'my peace and, comfort ,|o never be.born J,fto, I must go .and look out for a railway-Mdge." . At 'that,instant ,a.funny' idity, suggested itself to me,, and I lost. no time in jhaking it taowif $} jtfeidpath,. ~He was'a yery'yautious

miti, and although, lie smiled at the idea and said his young brotherym the very chap to carry it put and enjoy it, ho declared he mußt consider ovor it; but if he had-not con*, sidered favorably of it, this story would never havo been told. '■ . i" I leave it all to yoa I"j he,'cried desperately the noxt time I saw him. " That liorrid- woman has been handing,mo cakes and pies over the fenco all day, and grinning at' me in a way that made my blood run cold ! I'll tell her to-day, and' we'll arrange nil about it," ■ ,„'m„ sAnd we arranged all about it—ao'cfTectually 1 tliat it was with a sensation of delight at my part in tho plot, I saw Miss Hnbbartz skipping up and down her garden, and popping to and fro on the verandah as I went on duty, that same evening. As I wared the:cottage; she hnng over the fence and' affeoted .thei greatest'anxietv to watch up the Btreet in the direction in which Neidpath generally appeared. 1 i . j •' I ' wiah I wai the happy man ybuwer#/ waiting for," I lled as I paused opposite the flattered bid maid, i. " >! *' He-he-he 1 Thi only on ! the look-out for Mr.'Neidpath j he's such an old friend, you know; and I' confess, he-he-he, ; that'l feel .ahxioiis about hiinj he's : not l been at home all day; and that is most unusual with' him,": ■ J " Mr. Neidpath I Good gracious, don't you know; has he really left you; of all people in the world, in ignorance after all your kind. him?" and I affected the greatest astonishment."' '; i' "In ignorance of what l -whatever are you : < alluding to, Constable B—'1" | " Why, that Neidpath was to be married to-day I Indeed, 'lie asked me to the wedding, but duty prevented my going." r • i | To see that poor old withered, yet wonld-bo young face, with all its barefaced attempts at vivacious youth, dropping out of sightat once; to watch the perked up chin fall, and the stiffened back bend'into the stoop natural to .the age which had never been owned; to see the flaccid cheeks grow yellow and the very false ringlets lose their artificial curl, was something to be remembered, until yon meet ifith something better to be recorded. ; "Oh, you must be mistaken I" she gasped as soon as the shock permitted her. j "Not at all, Miss Hubbartzj Isawthomgo to the clmich this morning." j "This morning I Oh, the vile false, deceiver I This very morning I presented him ij'ith a lovely button hole-a roso-bud and two violets," I "Yes, I saw it; he wore them going to church,. and charmingly appropriate thoy looked, and «o like a lady's taste, Miss Hubbartz," j " I he wretch!" and the poor woman applied the corner of her apron to her eyes.

i "Who," she asked, as soon aa oneeyo was dear, " who has the villain married!" [ "A fine strapping girl, nearly Bix feet high, but a tartar, Miss Hubbactz j and I wouldn't advise you to let her hear you call Neidpath either a villain or a wretch, for she'd think no iWe of. tearing all your beautiful curls off than slio would of eating her dinner," ! "I liopo she'll tear every hair out of his head," she cried viciously, "and it will serve him right." | " Oh, not she; she's quite wrapped up in Neidpath, and woe be it to the woman that looks at him now he's her property. Indeed, Miss Hubbartz, I think the wisest thing you ian do will be to move at once, for it would be very unpleasant for you if Mrs, Neidpath took it into her head that there had been tolling bctWMii you and him previous to tho marriage."

" I'm a lone, persecuted woman I" Bobbed lie old lady, nnd as flesh and blood could indure the ridiculous no longer without aughter, I turned away, promising myself a are treat on the morrow, And the morrow came. Fortunately for ny enjoyment of the fun it so happened that in that day I changed 'day for night duty, ind took care to be in Newry street when loidpath and his bride arrived in a cab. He, is the principal actor, looked excessively .foolsh, a not unusual thing l in connection with i man in hii position; out. the hardihood of ;he lady he handed out mads up, in extenßO, or Neidpath's own bashfulness, I had' sxaggerated the bride's unusnal height—she night have been a grenadier; and the hand irith vfhicli she gripped a blue silk , parasol ivould havs done no injustice to the hilt of,a iword. So far from hastening out of sight the aolf-posseased.lady waved, the parasol towards Miss Hubbartz's dwelling, ana spoke loud enough for all the onlookers to hear her, "Jliat's where she hangs out, is it; Neid-. path? Oh, well, you may lfeave her to me; I'll take care she doosn't throw herself at your head any more." • ) Now, poor Miss Hubbartz had been nnablo to resist her curiosity, and indeed may have detected' the' difficulty I had in 1 refraining from laughter when I gave her the unwelcome tidings and she disbelieved them. At all. pvents she had planted herself behind her enrtain and left the window open, sn that she lieard every word uttered by her riyal, I was on the watch too,.and saw her old, Weasened face distinctly,'and how it was drawn back in shame when the words Were uttered, . i ! ■' , j , ' i Knowing there was another soenß to be en-; ! acted, I hiing at the fonco until'the cab had driven away and the onlookers hadrtispersed, tbe old maid appeared at her cautiously opened door,land beckoned to me. i I joined her'at onoo whop, with clasped hands and trembling lips; sho appealed tq mo,, ' "For the love of mercy get me a cab Constable B—, until I get away from that horrible woman." ■■■ • "Oh, don't go in such hurry, Miss Hubjbartz; get a van and take your things projedy, 1 ; ■ " , , Jfot interfere, indeed! ■ As poor Miss Hubbartz, inspired with oonfidonoo by-my yiei' jnity ventured to i step out on itho" verandah .something that 'looked like a bit of light colored leather, but was in reality a small' 1 dried-up pancake, flew so close to the top of I her head that it struck the mass of little dancing curls, broke the elastio that secured them in place, and dashed'tho old. maid's wig'to the ground, Ifor had (hetinipto stoop for it and fly ere; a gold custard was, 1 , jdashed against her window, and: an 'apple jpie made squash of against a post of, the verandah, Scent sachets, ornamented witlvi mottoes in beads,' Welsh rarobits, and faded' button-hole bouquets rained , on thedisap-. pointed lady's-premises j while with them showered uncomplimentary words in the: sweet tones of the bride of Neidpath. She' stood in the attitude of an Amazon—and to' tejl tlie truth there was.more than a suspicion, of a moustache on'hpr uppsr lip-iind abused the unhappy old maid with spite and per-' severance worthy of her sex, : • . " Talk of courting indeed!.., 'lwas the, woman that courted in your youiig days, ma'am, and the old woman at that! How hard up you are for,a, husband,old My I Tliere's a bouquet fop you. Faugh, it.smells of old bones 1 , And look at your, do you think any man wonldi eat tlje like of.that? Shoo! no wonder you run V but just'let mo get my claws on you and you'll run, faster i j! ~ jfo ,tho dead of .that night Miss Hubbartz and' her' household gods .disappeared from Newry street.,;, y. .1, And now I. suppose you, think my, swry is finished, but it is not quite, Thais' a . prologue, epilogue,. ; pr ,jv|iatover.,yoij

Hit, arid 'here it is,'iii a'paragraph" by itstlf. ,v . lOnq day, b'arely a fortnight . after Miss HubbaHz's 'discomfiture, I met Neidpath striding, jia^t' 1 JolimOnt with his violin caso ut ider his am, and his hat pulled down-over h s eyes, .ina style very unusual to him, ■ His ft 06 was pale and stern, his vest unbiittoned a: id his coat torn at tho sleeve, as though it ,h id; .been draggo'd ! oofu f ■ in" a violent hurry, 'Although I knew him to b'o an exceptionally !(iber man, I'conbluded on this occasion that h i must ; havo been' drinking and' stopped him'," 1 . ' 1: 1 ' :1 •' '■" : "'Wliatever's' up with you, Neidpath? ' Whero are you going in that disordered t ate?" ' _ '' ■•' ■■■ j "What's up'with,'mo?. That awful wo-; man's'up with mo, ShcPs found out that my .1 ifewasJoo, and she's back again." ■; " What 1 Miss Hubbiirtz?" . ; > " Yes, fahet's shifted into the cottage again, bag Mid baggage, this morning." ; j -'But.whqroafo.you'goiiig?. Look clothes;'ihari.'*' ' ' ,J •» ■ ■ ! - 1 i! My clothes are good enough for a railand i'ni.goinfj to look'for one," h# replied doggedly; fts he' hitched' his violin" ;«je higher undor.his.arm,.and tramped away iin the direction of the Yatra. I have never iseen hlpi jgince.—Tht Herald, , ■ ~