VARIETIES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 3, Issue 985, 28 January 1882, Page 2

VARIETIES.

$ ■ ■' A Chicago man visiting Cincinnati wai being ahown round by a citizen who said, . " now lets go and see the Widows' Home."- - The Chicago man put his finger by the side of his nose and winked, and then he said: " Not much, Maty Ann. I saw a • widow hom.e once and it cost me 816,000. • ■. She siled me for breach of premise and ; . : proved, it on ine. No, sir; send the widows home in a hack." ' A correspondent vouohes for the following conversation in a horse-car; " First old lady—Wall r Mariar has done prittjr well, ain't she 1 '" Second old lady—How's that, Amania t First old lady—Why, yon see, Mariar, she went, and married a sea-captain, and his life whs insured for SIO,OOO, Before two months he died, an' she got the insurance money, and now she's putty comfortable. : Seiond old. lady—Law sakes! but Pro- . vidence is kind to some folks.—[Somervilla Journal.] Going home from church she remarked to her husband: " Did you notice that bald-headed man in front of us, amHiow young he looked I I never saw any one so young before with s bald head." Then he shut her up by replying: ■ • " My dear, I was bald-headed bofore I was one year old.". A newspaper agent, being told by an old lady that it was no use to subscribe for the papers, as Mother Shipton said the world was coming to an end this year, aaid; " But won't you want to read an account of the whole affair as soon as it is over?" " That I will," answered the old lady; and she subscribed, A stranger took his watch to the watchmaker to have it repaired. After a few minutes' work he handed it back with the remark that the damages were §2. • " What was the mattter with it 'I" asked the stranger.' "There was a hair in it." " Was" that 'ill? You might have found a hair mattrass in it for $2"