Wit and Wisdom.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 3, Issue 980, 21 January 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

Wit and Wisdom.

The-night is long that never finds s day, , - r ThTroirpfWtraVe^HaYdtrok;r:::'^v'^ The father of the cereals is pop-corn. Not every one who has the gift of spoeoh \ JttndeMtMtohe'yaltteiQtßdejice;^^— r. ?^-;\ It is supposed that the skirt of'.the forest \ is a becoming'dress'M'the-bare earth, y : Mrs. Partington deolares herself as "dead \ set" against'the 'WeWrsett \ j The;prize|fightei!!<p.ee.ls.!.befprs: he strikes, \ but the bell does not peal 'until it, is struoky; \ t \ ! A : pplit>C'editor sftysithat trhenhe, thi&i ' \ of Ireland's woes his heart goes ■;.', Pity Pajgjrf \ j .Ignoranc»;(isnot,spdamnablovashumbfflß:-." j buj;.when it/prewribos pillsjtmay happen tor ' ap more, harm, v/oii \';r:p i-.->v .;"*i'»'. ! Astronomers have never yet told nswhy,; the; nucleus of a, comet is, always punctuated by a coma. ■ ' '.' ' . ,:::ii i We are told that thß. ( anpient•. Egyptians honored aicafr. when.!,dead-;-j ';Thejancient Egyptians knew when aoatiwas most to bfl.: honOKldi.'f' ,'r:'v) ...i 'Ja.i :<,U *-i:i-i- "J j ( J!mst aa thobathing.aeaspaJß.pearly .oyerit... has'been ..disgorged: that reihaiping in the water too, longjs damp foolishness., „ • -,, i I Jennie, : J[un9,ioays |I; «orrQwfvlly,':that the. female tourists abroad seem to have, changed : (heirnatures and;tflihavelostsome of itneir finest elements. .•,): ..... ,I,'i- i' ,i..;■!. ~.•''■ j iDcoultj but.yery'sweet: An extreme agony is.for ayoungrlady (tcaddstp, her toilet a large sunflowor.at her belt,:.The,occult signification.ofthisis,,'; \'J alwaysiturn.toward tho there a ; tduoh.qftheintenseab.out.thlslili , .1 ■;-,-■. ■.-.■■ i Two'getae/withi.ode ; atone-; j,Two;yonng ssd|«iwere,',making:futt,of country borate.',: ...Theabbe,.«fter,Btanding.it pretty well for a whjle,.Bttid: j-.'.'AlloWfme.to Bivy,, gentlomen,i that lam not precisely a, fop .i nor two,.; iTho. youhgimendeparted;.ii..i| l .}i ! ;.-: ; .v n-v;' ■.-• :.■ : ; A lady writes from a watering-place: \l is; jilStsplendid here-la'dles are not expected to dress.,'mWeshallnever goto'jthafr watering-, place, anyhow. It is bad enough fer a: mod:: est man at the wstering-plaoes,. where ladies are expected to only half dress audi call if |HfuU'dress,i'uii;v-.i;.,!j.-, ■ ;M );■,.-',!i,.'i '• J Just lovely: "My daughter's; painting,"; ■saidßullib'e'ar,,'proudly,; stopping Moreen' alleged wotklof,art;' .•;!! Beautiful,' isn't it!! "Yes, 1 ' replied Fogg, slowly, "butwhatdo lyou call it:?; whatiois it'jeprestot ?": i" Ah, jwellTryies-rthe faoMsvwei havb not ideoided, 'what to calUt yet : ji lovely ?" _!.,: ! /Sozzle having read in the-papers that iced !milkisadangerous;drink| ; renlarked:: , 'That's jo'ne.of them, darnedvnewspaper'lies 5 .ther's ; nothing better fora man td build upon in the jmornin'i than iced toilk.with aileetlesperrits |an!,sugar;in it," .andhe.absdntlyadded him; self 'tea .partyjwho had. jaat f "ishaken iof 'drinke.'MiavJDg shoken /or.one by himaolf jfor the previous half hour, i, ,••,:,•,■ ~■;■.' ; II Pjlactioemakesperfpdtiiiiltwasatarail' !way station. ,■: .The .trains were being made iup, i Puffwentithd lobomotives!.whirr went: : the .wheels,: and. the 1 whistling was: terrific, \ There "was backing and forwarding,.and; all manner•of •■ shunting, on a labyrinth of rails, "What'theieuceardtheydoin'g?" ."Praoij , tisingfor : anac.cident," l >!» ■'■■,• •, , : - - ■'■ , ■-.: -* An exchange prints a Jong recipe explaining ',' how, to perfume a dwelling.', 1 ■:. It's too expensive. •The.oheapestiand quickest way to perfume a dwelling is to fry. a piece of codhsh or roast a few onions., They; go right to the spot-and linger around the spot for a coni slderablelfcngth'ofiperiod.; ;i . ;'. %"Haa.the noseiany rights!" asks Sarah F, Hopkins,; in the Chnstian.Unioni .Certainly, , Sarah,: It always has the-right.tp assent,'. \ .: • Fogs are not.necessarily confined'to the, seat '- 3 shore, i' ,On the trackless plains you may frequentlymeet a farmer coming, to town with a,drpveof.hogs..;h:; :.■:', ■ ~•;. .;.»• ~.'.'A ny.port in, a storm," said Bliffera, .when he partook of sonioport wine in 1 a second* class saloon, where he had taken refuge from the'element.'.',.'r '.' ■ '.; .'!'.,'■." ; Wo like a man with lota of temper, It is the manwhbgets oiitof temper that wo' don't like. . . '.'•'..■;'"'!■ ''

; A. young lady rebukingly aska us: "Which is worse, to law tight or to get tight V". Wo give it up—Wnoyer laced. • Before, marriage she was dear and he was her treasure;, but afterwards.she became dearer and ho treasurer, and yet they are not WW ', j ■ , '„•':'.'. , ; . : . . _ "Mamie, said he, and his voice was singularly low, J'will.yflubemy.wifo?. Will you cling tq me as the tender vine clings to the-" "Yes, I'll catch on," said she. , The papers tell of a courtship and marriage brought about by a note written on an egg* shell, It is tho most'eggs-traordinary affair, The two hearts are now yplked together, , SPECIMBrr BRICkB. from the Dictioharvop tub VvTVRX.-Accordioh; a pair of dlloot which have accidentally 1 Swnlloirod a jow's narp. Auctioneer: amaootmor-bid temperament; ''Eccentricity: { regular irregularities, ■Geniui: a'lunatic-more l orlesssatte'; , Knack: ■% artof usinggeuluß. iiloBe: an archer who •uevoriusesacrosspeau.vJtyacry;: the parody of modesty. Plagiarism: the discovery that our .ideas, Layoi .beeu, stolen i bjr,,our, predecessors. P.ea'cev W, ar, taking a nap. i Pair j Songs: (Gerj. nan)'agame ; of.follow ihy-Lieder. \ Quadriller a silent potest against the.iinmbr'ality of dancing. \SelJjtJihm .•'a I |preferenc'emisplaqea,' Univer'tityi' academies in winter of'scholarshlp, and In summbrofscujldr-shipV''j -* ; ■ 1 'ffAHiBDl'A MiHiBTBR : .-"My r dear~ i;i -: 'Oill-by.thoTVay, If 'you 1 learrt'ofanv one with energy, tearihlintorestin the conversion ofsouls, attractive in preaching, great-heartedj unselfish, taerryjiftii fact)-'holy-let:rae know. Paul was I much the kind ot man we need, We want a man who knows all about the enemy, has some capacity for,working.miracles,; Is rendy.to be stoned, 'can cMldr6h,make prittcos '■ tremble, /confound ;tlie.' Jews,' convort kingsj' pick lipsticks,' earn 'lns |own ; living, ro .hrough fire and water fbr'th'e good'of bthors with ''no'expectatloii thatthey wilt interest thomsolves ,11'him-and^'ln'gokefal, l lead |l a' i forlom'hope of dospondentfollowers/'; ; ■■..■■,".•

'"'\' ;^romT^».'^rMelb6utne,) , ,Oneof oiir.conteippbraviesi speakingof a'wondcrfully, mysteriouis,, torpcilo- boat; wliicli". Is, to tako' .part in: tlie' proposed invasion' of Western Australia; asks,:'!ls ita'^eaianßnm?' 1 Wo 1 th'ihkitlboli's more likb'auMhßulli AN EPIC OP ABOMGIHAii" EpicaRBANISN, '"' ■■''!''. 'Tkoßorrygihe'do.thwbo ■ . : i.'.TJie frisky k'ancrarobj;. ■ - ■,'..■ ;Aitdbeatshimblackandbluo ■ ~; i; , ■' •':.-„ With 8,(!lub J( ,. ~■":•: . ~,■,..., ~, And throws him in a pot, , ,-. ~..„,, hottest kind' ; ofhof,.' :..,/.. And serves'liim on. the'spot '. J ':/ l /,.,',...|','..,Upas i grub.' ,: i / .' On the'enu of her thumb lidd a feicester/ : 'WWchcnQsOdhortc'sav—'' ■" •• 'lOhmylGoawiiy!" : : ' And shriek when her lover'carrcicester. f

Thtotfas.n bold Marquis named Choliriondcly, Who sometimes behaved rather rolmondely; ~• For p. day and a half ; .,.. , .-,.', ."• ■, ■ • . ,Hb would'cra'ttor and 1a1f,,;..' ', '• ■ Arid then fc'r'n'week would sulk glolmondely, ;.^".'.':'','; pat she'woiiii' ■'■'•' jf% She'wo'reasagegrceh.poldnalse, 0- ' ,,; r "."Shiried up DoWnd'the'b'ack; ■'. '"■'' /'■ And several plaits with'gussetloops , i • Where hom-stitche'd in with black, ■''"•' Th'edrabcorsage— thefaircorsage— r ; r ''•' Was biased down before j '•■■ i ■■'■'< The skirt was simply flounced in grey, And barely touched the floor, ' ; , A ! collar band of crepe do chino, ■"''■• 'Of'satinet'ecru, . ■■<.■■ ■'•■■,-, <. - Justireachcd unto hCr.dainty .waist, i.-:.; vAiid'wasofmauvisliihue;.;,:; ">■/. Her hafr^butno,mangel's pen : ; :■■.■; . f Wereneeded on the ear,th,;,, . To pakMbat hat and costume as ' ■■'. Thoy just arrived from Worth," '"'"