SHE LOVED POETRY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 3, Issue 793, 14 June 1881, Page 3

SHE LOVED POETRY.

J?« *? of rh yme, and the £ J , oy . S > k * ere their { arts, md vwing with each other to win £ B ', we ff distracted. Heraftec hon for'poethry" resolved'everything. Sue wouia accept the "bouchal" who v!lA t|tf her with tho " purtiest jarse. She gave each of the bona week .to produce before her a short verse, and who was most successful in rhymo ™ win her hand. They left. In tho small village m which they lived there resided an old woman, reputed to have l,?fir.i. P0 , Bseßse . d our P° ets - and uiiuier the love-sick ones proceeded, of course at different times. The appealed to dame undertook to find the " varses" for toe boys, and provided No. 1 with :- On yonder hill there stands a mill, And if it's not gone it stands there still, Beauty No. 2 happened to have a natural protuberance on his proboscis, and the dame became original with : My name it is Jerry Dalrymple, mti top of my nose there ' a a pimpla ' week's hard study the eventful and the two trembling lovers stood forth to win the prize.'" No. 1 began : On yonder hill there stands a mill, An av it's not there, it was awhile ago. No. 2, Mr Dalrymple, stepped forth with beaming countenance, and said : My name is Jeremiah Dalrymple, An'bednd, on the top ov me nose thero's a great big wart. The contest remains undecided.

"WINNING HIM BACK. One of the travellers for a new dry goods store recently arrived in a town m the interior ot the state, to find that one of Ins best customers was about to transfer his custom to a Boston house.

"Don't we always do well by you?" asked the New Yorker, »s ho sat down for an explanation. "Yes, I believe so." " Don't we ship goods promptly ?" "And have we ever pressed you in a pinch?" "No." "Did you get lower prices at the Boston house?" " No, I can't say I did." "Then I can't understand-why you should leave our house all of a sudden after buying of us several years." "I know that some explanation is due, and I will make one," replied the tradesman. " You know that I attend church." " Yes, and so do I." "Do you? I didn't know that. lam looked upon as a Christian. "3oam I. I've got the date of my babtism right here in my pocket-hook." "Is that so'? Well, our church is in need of repairs.. We were talking of it over tho other day, when the Boston drummer was in here, and he at once subscribed ten dollars." "Ten dollars I Why that's only two kegs of nails. Put me down for'thirty dollars, a new silk hat every season and a full suit of clothes for the minister." "Do you really mean it?" "Of course I do; and if. that two-cent] Christian from Boston dares sign another five, I'll send you down a GOOdol. church organ, and pay a man 500d01.a year to play it. We are a'house which never makes any great display of gospel hymns and religions tracts; but when a Boston drummer bluffs, we show our religious Ijatl, and rake in the pot of money overy merchant still continues to deal wijih the New York house.

HOT THAT KIND OF A GUN. In a corner grocery in the western p of the city, the other day, a hoy buying shot and gettiug ready to go hu ing. Hia old gun was lying an rathor loose, and the grocer norvousl marked;

" Boy, I wish you'd lake care of gun—l'm afraid of an accident." The boy stood it up against a barr and went on telling how many rabbits meant to popper, and pretty soon it c near falling to the door. "I tell you that infernal thing w, hurt some of us yet!" exclaimed grocer _ as lie jumped aside, and the o leaned it against the counter, and said) never take a back seat for a bear—ne As he reached over to look 'at some b, Bhot,. down tumbled the gun and went Ihe charge, sending about forty du shot into a ten-gallon oil-can in range "There she goes-there she[ yelled the grocer as ho danced ar "Didn't I tell you that infernal gun would go off!".

"And did I deny it J" promptly retorted the boy. "Do you s'pose that I'm fool 'miff, to go out to hunt rabiits with a gun that won't ulioot V