MR J.C.B. GOLDER AT WAIPAWA.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 3, Issue 703, 26 February 1881, Page 2

MR J.C.B. GOLDER AT WAIPAWA.

We very frequently,.says tho Waipawa Mail, hear reports of men being " tarred and feathered " for serious offences committed against society, but not until Friday last do we recollect a case where tho disagreeable, operation wa3 performed almost before our doors. It is a stubborn fact, however, that on Friday night, with? in almost a stone's throw ot peaceful Waipawa; a certain Benedict in the watchmaking profession was adorned in patches in the manner indicated above by a few irate young men,,.whoadoptod that mode of punishment for the following reason :—The victim of the " black" joke had, it seems,. for some time.past been addressing mysterious missives'to a young lady residing near this township 1 , and her relatives growing incensed at his conduct, determined to "wait upon" him, which they did in the manner just mentioned. The "mooting" was brought about by a lottnr, purporting to come from the lady, having been delivered to tho. subject of the ugly hoax, making an appointment, of which he gladly availed himself. .Mr'O, is now a sadder if not a wisor man, and the young lady's friends are satisfied, To tho Editor of the Waipawa Mail —Sin,—Unfortunate circumstances compel me to mako oublio the fact that I have been for some years past continually fallinto tnnce and clairvoyant states, during which periods■ I-.write setters to bishops, priests, ministers, pteaohers, deacons; and editors, but yarely to qthers, After I come out of those states I forgot what \ wrote until I returned into olairvoyanoy again. Unfortunately, what I wrote on those occasions is far too muoh in advance of thoago., My.last tranoo-writing performance was direoted to a young woman, whose acquaintance I have never sought, I have tried all manner of ways to prevent going into those states, but without avail, Though it does' not injure but rather enriches my natural faculties,. still' it exposes mo to .false - and erroneou. impressions; and ideas of .othora i have no business with. Recently, I was suspected as the author of certain epistles which led last Friday night to a mob that appeared to me as scoundrels and villains grossly assulting me. Those who. toqlf part in such black proceedings, oughf tote downright ashamed of themselves, anfl't hope that the next persons who find lettors coming in upon them against their desire, will, before making blackguards of themthemselves, stop my proceedings by sending me the following notice: ". Sir,—Considering your attention to me unwarrantable, I solicit a discontinuance of the same," I : bel}evo this will have a better effeot tjja'n all other schemes that could be invented,If Mr S. M, or others who took- part -in tho affair of Friday night, will refund the damaged done to my clothes, 30s at least, I-will forgive the rest, and refrain taking' further proceedings.—l am, &c, J. C. B. Goldek, ..

Thursday passed quietly .jnd calmly away, (says the Daily 'Telegraph) 'but-t : Friday, 11th, produced the crowning of the week, and was a day long to'Cj rememberedin the annals of Waipawa. yf app'ears that a certain individual, rgaidenp?) in Waipawa, vh'6practicejas ; a : J'watcTns}- ■'' 'and jenrelist," and whose name oari''be easily arrived at by any schoolboy who will take the trouble of 'putting the word gold in the comparative degree, had for Borne time past rendered himself obnoxious to a respectable young lady, whoso name I. withhold for very obvious reasons, ' by. ; dictating andionprdiijg tq he? through'' the' post gushing effusions containing? a strange combination of fomfoolerV.'and love! At last the attention of the foolishly ardent one {who, by-the-bye, is a marrjeq man, at present living apart from his wife and three children) beqame insufferable/ and 'enudirjei! wre by tqeraale' relatives qf tjj'q.' lady ill' questiqq' tq . discover .the write) of tl|e obnoxiqqi xm-J sives, the author not Jiayine; qp .to thjf itime reygalea his Rama Tlp§ inforiqatiqq. bavjqgbpg'ij'qhqqestionably;a'rrive4'at,'a:: loving epistlo, penned in a hand, was despatched, to, the : loyesjck, V inamorata, appointing time and place, for' almeeting.; Gaily the recipient 'prepared v ? himself for-»the: -urind occasion; and,> having oraoked a bottle of Rimmel's best ■ perfume over his Btepsi'towarda the £

■ only awaited him-there. -■ «?a, -instead of meeting the ,lndy of his ?>m he quickly found himself in the om- .:■ brft , C9 . ot a pair of strong maaoulino arms, . Mid, in no mere figure of speech, caught a tartar. At first the duped one denied «l knowledge of the affair, but subse•quently" owned up, "when he found his ' . jguilt could be clearly brought home to • r;* 1 ?- Previous to releasing him, some I'nalfodozen ""sympathising hands digested our hero of a portion of his garTiu i at V appliod a substantial coatiug jot that substance called tar to his person, iniß was surmounted by a layer of ffeaUiersand «toi-toi. "well rubbedinaftor which his decorators, thinking him Mtf&iently finished, sent him homo with a good start, effected by tho specific force of & number ten boot vigoronsly applied. It ia i generally beleived that on this occasion the smartest pedestrianism on record was effected, the first hundred yards towards goal being done in nine and a half seconds. Ifota tells me that the same gentleman had an operation somewhat similar to .the above performed on mpV at the Hutt some 12 years ago for \ £ Q ;«pvopensitieß. Itistobehoped SffiJ"*. learn wisdom, and in future SS3W>iraself like a man. The general faemig here,is "Serve him right."