MISCELLANEOUS.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 2, Issue 604, 26 October 1880, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

A good child complained that heWcatechism was too hard, -and seriously inquired if there were not some kittenchisms for little girls. V:

"In the bright complexion of my youth I'll have no such wo^d'as' paleand with the complexion of an angel she reaohed for the rouge-box, '' ; ' Wife : (he had brought her a little present): " No, William, I will not hav» him brought up on the ' bottle. 1 Look at your own nose, dear.!'--Punch. .. .

He said to the dentist! You pulli out mitoutpain!" ".Certainly."' "Whatdoes datcoßtl" " One dollar." " Py Shiminey —you dinks dat don't hurt none, py gracioua."

A certain caravan orator at a fair* after a long yam descriptive of what is to be seen inside, generally winds up by saying, " Step in, gentlemen, step in. ' Take my word for it, you will be highly delighted when you come out."

"Young man, 1 ' said the orator,. itu« ' preaaively, " do you want- to go down to a drunkard's grave?". " Well," replied the young man, with the careless grace of a man who isn't accustomed refusing; "I don't care if I do. Whereabouts is your gravel" • . Chief Moses addressed the President at a recent reception in the Indian tongue, and the., first word of his speech .'was Cugtiinnequattakcullummewuwuttapessitukmettaletumecquah. Secretary Evarta retired in disgust. " Every little helps,"' as the Scotch lady said under certain circumstances. A Government letter, received. lately i n Dunedin, was written upon extravagantly■ good paper, and the margins were"tro big. Upon this text the Otago Daily Times preaches a sermon on extravagance, and remarks that " if all the correspondence of the different departments is on upon paper of a similar quality,, and with a similar disregard to the quantity used, the cost to the colony must be many hunkreds a yerr than it had need be."

, A correspondent of the • Lytteltou Times makes the following very sensible suggestion:-"It is well known and admitted that sermons are - tiresome things to listen to, and in general, are listened to. Now, I maintain this' is no reflection on the ability of thti, preacher. How is it possible for the cleverest' man to give his congregation something fresh and interesting every Sunday, when he is tied down to the worn out paths of centuries 1 More than one minister has confided to me.thejabor andanxiety they have in overcoming this difficulty. Well, here is a chance'of breaking the monotony of a minister's'life.'-; Let thorn, by their preaching, counteract; the effect of literature of a sceptical tendencyr And how can they better'do this "than by reading itl Let.them know what their congregations are reading and thinking about, then they will know their difficulties and be bettor able to help thein out of them. And if a minister tries sincerely .to do this, I feel sure he will have a large iucrease* of attentive listeners."... .