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Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume 2, Issue 171, 29 May 1879, Page 2

Legal perseverance, with all its wondrous ingenuity, is not always successful in eliciting the desired answer, " Was there anything in the glass?" asked a counsel of a somewhat reluctant witness. " Well, there was something in it," he voplied. " Ah, I thought we should get at it in time!" observed the triumphant questioner, " Now, my good fellow, tell us what the something was." The " good fellow" took time to think over it; and at last he drawled out, " It were a spoon," There is no necessity for stating from what part of this sublunary sphere the following " veracious" paragraph comes. Tho nationality of its author i 3 obvious. Here it isAn intelligent farmei in Des Moines County lins invented a henaphone, on the principle of the telephone, by which one old reliable lien, occupying a central position, sits on all the nests about the establishment, leaving other fowls free to lay eggs, scratch and cackle. As fast as a new nest contains the full complement of eggs, it is connected with central office by a. copper wire and the business is settled. Tlio only trouble with the machine is that it sits so hard it hatches out the porcelain nest eggs along with the other, so that one chick in every nest is born with glass eyes, and the farmer has to buy and train a dog to lead it around. This makes it expensive. r " Jiob, where's the State of. matrimony 1" —" It it one of the United States. It isboiuidcd by hugging and kissing.on tho one side, and cradles, and babies on the: other. Its chief productions are population,, broomsticks, and staying out'late o' nights. Tho climate is sultry till you pass the: tropics of house-keeping, when squally weather commonly sets in with such power as to keep all hands as cool as cucumbers. For the principal roads leading to this interesting State consult the first pair of blue eyes you run against." A couple of sailors were recently arrested in New Orleans for throwing buckets of tar at each other. It was a pitch battle!