A BATCH OF CHRISTMAS CRACKERS
What is the difference between an en-gine-driver and a schoolmaster?—One ininds the train, and the other trains the mind.
Why is a thief like a railway porter?— He is in the habit of taking other people’s property. Why is a blind man like a w r ater-pipe? —He is generally led (lead). When is a man like a tea-kettle just on the boil?—When he is going to sing. Why is a key like a hospital?—Because it is full of wards.
Why is a city being destroyed like another being built?—lt is being razed (raised). Why is a man in a fever like a burning candle?—He is light-headed.
Why is my head, when in pain, like a sovereign of Europe?—lt is a king ing)Why is a cook like a barber?—He dresses hair (hare). Why is thought like tlie sea?—lt is a notion (an ocean). When is an apple like a fish?—When it is a crab.
What will give a cold, cure a cold, and pay the doctor when cured?—A draft (draught). England owes the Christmas Tree to the late Prince Consort.
Most of the holly consigned to London comes from Fordingbridge, Hants.
In Cromwell’s time no church service was permitted on Christmas Day. The first Christmas turkey was eaten in England in 1524. Hunting the wren is a Christmas custom in the Isle of Man and parts of Ireland. Plum pudding was originally plum porridge, and was served for breakfast, not dinner.
A leaf from Christmas preparations is preserved in parts of Yorkshire as a remedy for toothache. At kendal if a man is caught at work in Christmas week he is forced to stand treat all round.
The Lee-Metford rifle was formally adopted for the British Army on Christmas week, 1887.
Forty tons of English made plum pudding are sold in Paris every Christmas time.
At Merton College, Oxford, there is a formal drinking of the grace cups on Christmas Eve.
It is an old Irish superstition that gold should not be paid away, nor silver lent, on Christmas Day. Scottish servants each endeavour to be first to draw water from the well on Christmas morning. Gloucester used at one time to make a Christmas present of a lamprey pie to the Prince of Wales.
The Goar’s head was the predecessor of roast beef at Christmas dinner. It was
served with a lemon in the open mouth. At Sheffield it is most important that a man, and not a woman, should be the first to step across th® threshold on Christmas and New Year’s mornings. At Tretyne, Hertfordshire, a cake is made on Christmas Eve with a hole through it. This is hung on the horn of an ox to ensure good crops. Holly, oay, rosemary, and laurel were the favourite Christinas decorations up till 150 years ago. Ivy and mistletoe were not used in churches. In the Scandinavian island of Dago the people have a curious custom of putting uve candles on each branch of the Christmas tree. The choir boys at Ripon at one time had the privilege of selling apples at twopence apiece to all the congregation after the service on Christinas morning. Hot cakes and cider are the usual fare at Christmas Eve suppers in Devonshire.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WDA19050128.2.22.11
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Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume VI, Issue 11, 28 January 1905, Page 1 (Supplement)
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545A BATCH OF CHRISTMAS CRACKERS Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume VI, Issue 11, 28 January 1905, Page 1 (Supplement)
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