FEMININE PHILOSOPHY.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume VI, Issue 8, 21 January 1905, Page 5 (Supplement)

FEMININE PHILOSOPHY.

Never look a gift horse nor an heiress bride in the mouth.

Maybe women would drink more if it. were not bad for the complexion.

Tell me who winds the clock, and I will tell yoir who regulates the household.

Some girls learn to operate the typewriter because they can’t carry a tunc on the piano.

Even the girl who cannot boil water without burning it, will not admit that she can’t cook.

A woman with a baby always gets a seat in the street car, but some women would rather stand.

The woman who holds her skirt high on a rainy day, usually has three good reasons for it. One of them is the mud.

Lots of married women have got the idea from their husbands that the wheels of progress are greased with whisky.

Women write most of the short stories that get in print these days, but as they also read them, we men should not complain.

If you don’t notice each time your wife changes the style of wearing her hair, she begins to think that you no longer love her.

Men do not fully realise their unimportance in commerce. Women do the buying —men merely the paying. Ask any advertiser.

When a girl is about 16 she thinks she would like to get married, just to have a really an dtruly house to play housekeeping in.

Men are really more diffident than women, if more vain; they always require some sort of an excuse to have their photographs taken.

I am of the opinion that if the breed of French poodles had not been discovered there would be more happy homes with babies in them.

Men wear clothes for comfort; women for adornment. Men adjust their clothes to their figures; women adjust their figures to their clothes.

It doesn’t matter greatly with a woman that her nouns and verbs do not agree, so long as her clothes harmonise with her hair and complexion.

Some women try to make their husbands quit drinking whisky by putting stuff in their coffee, and succeed in making them quit drinking—coffee.

A widow’s getting married again is not necessarily proof that she does not believe that marriage is a failure; it may be merely a cate of “try, try again!”