TO A MAN WHO WOULD MARRY.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 279, 6 November 1902, Page 1

TO A MAN WHO WOULD MARRY.

Select the girl.

Agree \vith the girl's father in politics and the mother in religion. If you have a rival, keep an eye on him ; if he is a widower, keep two eyes on him. Don't swear to the girl that you have no bad habits. It will be enough for you to say that you have never heard yourself snore in your sleep. Don't put much sweet stuff on paper. If you do, you will hear it read in after years when your wife has some especial purpose in inflicting upon you the severest punishment known to a married man.

Go home at a reasonable hour in the evening. Don't wait until the girl has to throw whole soul into a yawn that she can't cover with both hands. A little thing like that might cause a coolness at the very beginning of the game. If you sit down on some molasses candy that little Willie has left on the chair, while wearing your new summer trousers for the first time, smile sweetly and remark that you don't mind sitting on molasses candy at all, and that " boys will be boys." Reserve your true feelings for future reference. If, on the occasion of your first call, the girl upon whom you have placed your young affections looks like an iceberg and acts like a cold | wave, take your leave early and stay away. Woman in her hours of freeze is uncertain, coy, and hard to please. In cold weather finish saying good-night in the house. Don't stretch it all the way to the front gate and thus lay the foundation for' future asthma, bronchitis, neuralgia, and chronic catarrh, to help you worry the girl to death after she has married you. Don't lie about your financial condition. It is very annoying to a bride who has pictured for herself a life of luxury in her ancestral halls to learn too late that you expect her to ask a baldheaded parent, who has been uniformly kind to her, to take you in oat of the cold-