Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 269, 14 October 1902, Page 4

Clippings.

The way of the whirled—the waltz. A circus iumbier should never be full. Professional, bouncers neatly always turn out well. Ordered out—the family during house cleaning time. Some men’s promises are like foam on a glass of beer. Never put <ff till to-morrow the creditor who will wait till next week. The less some persons know about a given t-übject the more they try to show off Even a tight rope walker may find it hard to maintain his balance at a bank. The average man is as awkward at love-making as he is at cutting fresh bread. It’s up to a man to declare that

appearances are deceitful when they are against him, A cabman is about the only one who who can drive away his customers and still keep them. The only thing wrong with common sense is it is so tremendously scarce that it isn’t common. It sometimes happens that the man who clubs his house his castle has the

moat in his eye. The best thing to do in a drowning emergency : Reward the man who helped you to emerge. In order to forecast the weather with a reasonable degree of accuracy, all you have to do is to predict anything you don’t expect. “I noticed you hoeing your garden yesterday. What are you raising?” “ Blisters, mostly,’ Little Boy: “What do you want?” Tramp: “I dunno; What yei got?” Little Boy ; " Mumps.’ Tommy: “Where are you goin’, Jimmy ? ” Jimmy : “ Sunday schoo 1 .” Tommy: “ Dug your bait up yet 7 ” There are men who oan stand up under an astonishing amount of whiskey, but they will fall down in a minute under a coal hod.

Photographer ; “ Now, try to look like yourself. (Noting the effect.) Well—er—h’m—try to look like somebody else.” The Victorian Government intend to effect a reduction of £IOO,OOO in the working expenses of the railways ; probably 800 employees will be dismissed Riely ; “ Cassidy asked me to listen to phat his baby said.” Rooney; “Deye accommodate him ?” Riley: “Oi did I Anny mon thot come to me looking fer foight kin always git accommodated.”