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Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 251, 4 September 1902, Page 4

Hewitt : Marriage is a lottery, a gamble, a chance.

Jewett: Yea, a fighting chance. “ The Powers are growing more excessive in their demands,” said the first Chinaman. “Yes,” agreed the second Chinaman ; “ they insist on as many concessions from us as their servants exact of them.”

He; Do you think your love for me will last as long as this engagement ring ? She; I don’t know, but if you notice it dying out you can present me with another.

“Mr Chalkley Water*, the retired milkman, reminds me of the whale that swallowed Jonah.” “ How’s that ? ” “Because he got a profit out of the water.”

“Your parents left you something when they died, did they not ? ” “ Oh, yes, sir.” jj " did they leave you, my “ An orphan, sir.”

How does your girl treat you, John ? asked the mother. She doesn’t treat me at all, mother. 1 am obliged to treat her every time.

I don’t care for the metre of Fred’s poetry much, do you ? No ; I think there is a superabundance of gas.

New Governess ; Now, Tommy, sit up, and tell me what are “ weights and measures.” Tommy ; Please, Mis* Jones, waits are people who come howling outside at Christmas-time, and measures are what papa says he’ll take to'atop ’em J

The Elderly Spinster : I believe we shall soon hare the right to propose to the men. The Matron ; That won’t make much difference to you, dear, unless you can get a new face.