Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 229, 15 July 1902, Page 1

Clippings.

Mr Pompous, M.P.: You’d like to bo present at a sitting of Parliament ? Well my dear madam, 1,11 see if I can get you an order for the gallery. Mrs Tomkins : The gallery, indeed. The idea. If I cant go in the stalls or dress circle I wou’t go at all. Squire Bantam, impressively : " Now, what 1 want, understand, is a portrait i hat people will know me by. No flattery, mind ! ” Artist (anxiously): “ No, no ; just your plain self.” Wife: “ Before I married you, you vowed you would furnish our daily broad without a growl.” Husband ; “ Yes, I’m ready to furnish all the bread if ycu will furnish all the other necessaries.” NO ESCAPE. Mr B. : I’m going to bring my wife round to call on you to-night. Mr A. : That’s right; but do me a favour, old man. Don’t let her wear her new sealskin jacket. I don’t want my wile to see it now. Mr 8., grimly : Wby, that’s what we are coming for. SCENE: SCOTTISH TOWN-THE SABBATH DAY. Policeman (to jovial couplej; Tak’ care; if ye go on like that I’ll hae to arrest ye. First Merry Man: Why, we’re not even whistling* Policeman : No, but ye’re looking m happy as if it were Moooay. DIDN’T FEEL SAFE. Flossie: What makes the onrste so noivous this dear? El lie : He’s j< st discovered that mistleI toe I put over thepalpit yesterday, love. ...