SPARKLETS.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 197, 1 May 1902, Page 4

SPARKLETS.

"In my business,” declared the stockbroker, “it is impossible <to succeed without pluck.” “You mean 4 plucking, ’ don't you ? ” replied the mao who bad up against it. Mrs. Ford : ”My husband has be come very hard to pleaseA’ Mrs. Shaw : “It is a good thing; (or you, my dear, that he was not always that way.” * Mrs Sleepyiie : 41 Henry, the alarmclock just went ofl.” Mr. Sleepyize (half-asleep) :*‘Thank goodness ! I hope the thing’ll never come back.” •Teacher : “ What is the meaning of ( the word excavate ? ” Scholar : “ To hollow out,” 44 Give me a sentence in whi ; word is properly used.” ” The small hoy excavates whrrri !>' papa whacks him.” 41 Look, papa ! ” cried the nr sweet seventeen, pushing a im ' fluffy canininity into her father’s face 44 Cholly just sent me this lovely puppy. Isn’t it just like his generosity ? ” 44 Yes,” agreed the stern parent. 44 It's just like him.” Thomas ; 44 Did you ever run away when you were a boy ? ” Mobbs : 44 Once.” 44 And I suppose the tears flowed freely when* you returned ? ” 44 Yes. I made the mistake of re turning when father was at home.” . > Big Sister : 14 Dick, I think its tinei little folks were in bed.” 44 Little Dick ( on Mr. Nicefeilow*a knee ) ; 44 Oh, it’s all right. Ma saidl I was to stay here till she came 1 downstairs.” George : I see nothing but for us to elope. Do you think your (atfaw 1 would forgive us ? ” Ethel : 14 1 am sure he would.” George : 44 How can you be so saaf"' Ethel: 44 1 felt a little nervous on 1 that score, and—and I asked him.” Wife : 44 Henry, what was the matter with you when you came iir last night ? " Husband : 44 Nothing that I know of Why ? ” Wife : 44 Well, you kept walking , round the bed with your hand on tho railing, saying, 44 Here’s the banisters all right, but where's the stairs ? ” Newly Married Husband ( home late for the first time ) : I know I’m a little late, Alice dear. You really shouldn’t sit up and wait supper tor me, darling.” * i Newly Married Wife : “ Supper deax- . est; it’s too late for supper. I’vo laid the table for breakfast ! ”• A certain bookmaker was collecti ing slips when he spotted two detectives. Instead of moving away, 1» . kept his ground. One of the officers made a circait, | and came round another way towards . the bookie,” and asked : 44 What price are you giving on the if big race, to-day ? ” 1 44 Six to one, bar three ! ” 1 44 Oh ! What three do you bar ? ” 44 Why, you two 4 tecs ’ and a magistrate.” Collapse of detectives.