A Social Lion.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 180, 20 March 1902, Page 1

A Social Lion.

Short Story.

2 look at me now, fue peopul would ever think that i was once a soshul liun, the admiard of the fare seeks, the envy of the mails, but its traw. When i was younger and better looking (the ravidges of time have had lots of fun with my face) i was liunised by the leaders of sassiety for about 1 hour and 45 minits by the ladies. Meanwhile the men stood askance, making sarkastick remarks, it was a most trying position to hold, and i’ll state rite hear that being a good liun is a laborios task, with fue returns.

My debutt as a king of beasts came about in this wise : the summer of ’9G was a hard 1 for mo. Servant girls and housewives in general were ingenerous, in consequence of which i lived on £ fair nerely the whol time ; milege was bad also, an to make matters worse on most rodes they had covered the ties with ashes. About November i struck Washington, weary, hart sick, foot soar and broke. My seto in the senit was being kept warm by another man. in fact all the good things of life were being enjoid by other peopul, an i felt most miserubbly. in this frame of mind i was hanging nere the capital. Now i think of it i must have presented a sorry picture. I was wade down with thorts of my past; all my life i had wanted somethin to ete and only once in my memory was i ever filled up. That was when i entered a pie-eting contest, i was 8 pies ahed of my nearest competitor when i was declared the winner. What a miserubblo existence has been mine. Filled only, once and then on dridg apples pies. Compressed by those thorts i began to skoff at life an the evil ways of the world, i was getiin worse an worser, an wos just on the point of denouncin proverdence as ongrateful an neglecktful of her children, when 2 or 3 senitors came along. Thares a poverty ball tonite, given by the daughters of Moab, sed 1 of them, to which we’re all inwited. It’s for charity, so we’d better go, sure, said th other. But thare must be no fine does. If you 'do thay'll fine you, saying which they all laughed hartily, but i must confess up to this day i have never seen the joak, Suckor is at hand, i exclaimed as soon as they was out of herein. Never lose fathe in proverdence no matter how hungry you get nor how much your feat trubbul you. The poverty party’s the thing, you ladies of Moab provide the party, an i’ll bring all the ppverty you want.

That nite i sort out the hall where the party was being given. Thare were lots of poorly clad penpal goin in, some of whom had just driven up in thare own coops, i walked fearlessly into the hall, which was dimly lited with taler candles.," As soon as i was farely in, i began to cast my eyes around for the refreshment table. Here and thare were groups of aristocrats waring thare old clots for the benefit of the poer. While i was looking longingly for the edibles, a .charming young lady dressed in a kaliko rapper came up to the, and said ; '

Why ernest deer, I’m so glad you’ve come, i’ve been wating for you arf and hour. Say, she added, not giving me time to reply, your make up’s grate. Where did you get it ?

All over, i replide, telling the truth, i pinched the trowsers in Kansas Sity and the cote and vest in Boston. Ah, thort i, hear is another unfortunit- circumstance, mistook for a milyunair, an nothing but a' hole in my pocket. Come and meat some of my friends, she said, But first lets have a little punch. with the greatest of pleasure i responded, remembrin a frase i had been tort when but a child. On the way up to the punch bowl all my glad manners came back, and i soon recovered my composhure. the punch was sood, but the glasses were small. Soon we were surrounded by debutarntes. My new friend introjuced me as a frien of hers ; though i had never seen her before. Why what a splendid make-up, said one. Whare did you get that exquisite costume, said another, how natural put in a third he looks for all the world the real thing, said a horty young creature. Thay then fell to feelin of the goods and examin me closely. 1 put her hand in my vest pocket, and puled out a cigar stub, what i had retreved on the way up. it 1 looked all up with me then, but a happy thort struck me. iam very exacting as to detale, i said, hiding my confusion, and replacing the stub, which had the appearance of a tensenter, in my pocket. From thare we wandered around, and soon i was in the senter of another crowd of chatterboxes.

Thsy made the same remarks as the others, with the exception of 1, who asked me what my business w is, o deer, i answered quickly, i Jant even cut coupons, 1 don’t 1 need to work.

Whareupon my stock went up 40 points.

Have you tasted the recherche' refreshments yet, asked a haireess to a milyun.

No yet i replide truthfully. Then come along she exclaimed, dragging me away to the feeding room. it was with grate difficulty that i withstrained myself to ete with the the dignity becoming my position, but i did. However, when she wasnt looking i slipt some sandwidges an cake in my pants pocket, i have this next dance vacenc, she said between nibbles at the londun puddin, i would like so much to dance it with you.

thank yu very kindly i responded turning pale around the gills, but i’m already engaged. And there’s my pardner now. plese excuse me, and rushing madly away from her i sort the punch bowl. 2 thimbulfulls fixed me up an i hurried away unseen. Once outside, i finished the recherche refreshments, an later sort a dry goods box in a quiet alley, where i reposed for the nite.

Towards morning i woke out of dredful dreme, and skipped the town, i fancied in my slumbers that i had accepted the offer to dance and was madly rushing that cute thing through a mazzy waits.