Short Story. A Home for Authors.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 171, 27 February 1902, Page 4

Short Story. A Home for Authors.

By Wentworth Smee,

" Dear Mr Went worth &net, M ran the letter, " asl see that you are interested in most things about authors, I send you a line to-ask if you will come down to x to help me with your advice in reference to an experiment of mine in connection with the literary craft. As the matter is somewhat pressing, I shall be much obliged if you will come sa soon as pousible. -Yours faithfully, W ."

Then up 1 got and donned my clothes and oped ihe chamber door," and started fur X . It seamed to me that anyone who would experiment wifc'i authors must have a good deal of ey >r time on his hands.

I was mot at the station by a worried - looking old gentleman in a pony chaise di awu by a fat yet dejected ponv. " The great Mr burnt; ?" he asktd, ..vith simple revereats.

•'•Sir," I replied abruptly, "my name is Smee."

"That's what I said," he rej. ined unappi;y.;.tLo.i apologised. " Ytu mv, lin a g...0a deal wmrkd about it," he luuidi-ked explauatoiiiy.

I did not see,* so preserved a discreet silence. Tac pony chmbsd sluwiv up a hill, turns.! to ue Ut, ami, with a momcnuiy fi', of energy .(you know how a cab borne brightens up when near the •*Pi;i caches of a railway station), b*oko into what he imagined to b.* a trot. " Ah," said the out gentleman witn moueat piidn. "Wood will tell."

I wa.ted-f.jr wbut " blood " was going -:o tell me, but nothing came of ic. "Then vve entered a little tsube yaid, und I helped ih.j old {jerHleriia.il to unharness >,ne pony ana puo the cnaiso away. "Ab ut the experiment," I asked when I had br.dded down the pony with a masterly dexterity born of bygone experience.

i'he old gentleman's momentary cheertuluens faded awaj.

Then his countenance all over {suddenly like did prove. " He w-n't go away," he std.l, on the verge of tear*.

[ ' Who won't.?" " Ue won't." The oil gentleman drew me into iho baoK ga den and ait down on a beddingout frame. " iiu h-li.sh.! "he said, and looked tearfully around. " b'o -fur the court is with you," I remarked, "hut I would Hue tu know what it iws to hu.sh about."

" It shall," lie said, with quiet ferocity, i I lit a cigarette. The oid gentleman] snatched it out of my mouu.. "I^'lll •<ee the smok-," he said Uemblk !-ly, " and ii.h all along of you." ' j •• What i,?" "He is. You see, you said in-one of! your columns something about t> e late Lord lryttun having su.i ted a hm, e lor 'uouixed' authors, and as 1 arn an bid bachelor a bit lonely, and haven't dene much for my fellow creatines, I—l advertised." "Advertised ! What for ? : ' " A ' decayed ' author; and I've flo him; I wi.-n I iiadn t." Ho gruao.d again '• lie's been here a week." f

" Well, isn't thut whar you wnnted?" " I dun't know wiiat I wanted. Lut 1 advemvd Uut I would be willing io oomioit Iho declining jears of a • decaved ' authoi, not ton much dicuycd, bid just enough decayed to make hiiu coin-p-nionubio, a (1 no wro e and esked ii ] wde a (Jinistum. ir I were rot.a, Gimp |ti:iii nothing would in.-uce mm t>> acxp' iiiylK.sj.'iUJiiy. in a weak mcniunt i sain i was a (JiiiisUtto, and so he kuihj iuw bri.mjhi his carpet oag w.th him." "Vv'otlf"

" But it i c n't well, and I'm not wl either. He wwi't go away. He tay? he's settled down in tlie ,-jjeice of Uk country tur tii'i lesD or Ins life, ii:n is troing to ' make his eoul' at my txpei te." Tha oil gentleman nearly wept. It turned out that the old geatiemnit was a teetotaller and non-amokei. 'lb Decayed Author was n.-ithet His u, in addition to the carpet 0-. , consisted of a jar of Sjotch whiskey a d .a, big nack-1 ot tobacco. - lie dooliui-d 1. :take ixcrcife, was very .p-.»rt:cuiar ab ,u uis food, never went, to bed until imee n the morning, and wcu'd notadow ;he 010 g-ntleuian to do so eitln-r. He wa writing a history of the Piymotu! brethren—i.e., he dictated it t-> the ol gtiitleman, and made him write it.

"In fad'.," said the old .gtntlemaL with a tjroan, " ho looks upon ine an private secretary and valet, and ordetfc me sbout a-s if this were, an hotel. Cm t you tuiike him go away 1 Anything up to £2O if he will only go." I was indignant. " Good old msn," 1 said, " cease to suffer. With this stionj. rjglit hand I will take him by the seiuti u{ thi nock and "

"Howde do, Sniee," eaid a pleasant voice ab my elbow, and old sJaimnj Oasjclton strolled through the Fivi ob window He -was clad in his ho»f dreeing gown —a magnificent garment o. ; imperial purple, and wore a smoking cap co match.

"My presentation gown from the iuhab.taiva of-X ,"said the old gentt.^m id. " Tell him I'jl give him £25 tog. away."

I "I've come to t-uruyou out of this" 1 aid severely. "Why ure you play" ng the foot here, Sammy ! Is tais a jokt] olyourB?"

"I don'i think fche>o!d gentleman hs» found it a J 'ke," said Sammy piacidry. I've worrit d him a good deal, but I'vihad nearly enough of it. Are you anothe. 'iecayed author."

'' No, I?rtj not. -I'm in the prime oj my intellfctu'il capacity ; and you have to come ! back to tortu with me now, Sammy." " All right," he said. Then he turned to Mr W. *• Just.go and pack my bag Sou needn't wosiy about the jar; h\ empty." When the old gentleman had crepi i humbjy away, Casselton turned -ot< Ihim.

j " Teaeh him a lesson not to inmli authors with bin infernal charity again. You're an mucn to bliime as he ia, binet, and ;vr« don't like it. If we can't niaki [ enough to live on Mre'll riia on it, tiiat> ail. When i saw his advertisement J tfiought I'd tea,-h him not to advertiafor a "decked." author. Do I look '* decayed?"

" No, you're uncommonly well pie served—m whisky. Goiutt along at ouce, ailer you've apologised - "

The old gendeuian was oo pleased at getting ud GftUHMeilon Uw, he abked uito sUy to lunch. Alter lunch he draw mo aside.

"Mr Smee, I—l didn't mean to be offonsive. You autboos are audi tech) folk. Uut you will o<Muo and see m« hgain, wn't yon 5 I—J. think the pony has taken to you." i When Casßcltoa beard this he apolo-| gieed moar handsomely, and presented] the old gentleman with a copy of his last] hook. < JBu! tha was right,] #»*V' $e -meant watt, aba] basse! Vn f atoftpofetirf