A DIFFICULT SUBJECT.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 162, 6 February 1902, Page 4

A DIFFICULT SUBJECT.

In Blackwood tor May in the course of an article on “ Men and Matters in our Yilhago,” occurs an amusing conversation between an old lady and a villager whom she is desirous of getting to church. The interview is described by the villager : “ I meet the old lady in the street and she’s on at mo us if I weren’t at chu:oh on a Sunday morning. Well, and I weren’t there—it ain’t alius as I can get, though I goes more oftener than some of ’em, as yon knows yourself. But I tells she as I ain’t over-fond of walking. ‘ Well, then,’ says she ‘ Why don’t you come to my chapel, as is nearer, of an afternoon ?’ And I says as I don’t hold with they chapels, not as I knows no more about them than I counts as you does, Master George, But I knowed as she wouldn’t like my saying as I didn’t hold with them. Ho, but she up and says, * I’ll give you a little book to read on it, John,’ says she. ‘ I ain’t a-gotten no time for reading of no little books,’ I cells her. ‘ Well, then,’ says the old lady, ‘ I’ll come in one day and read to yon while you works.’ Well, arter a bit she comes, and I were all ready for her, I were ’nition hard of hearing that day, as :a man oughter be when there’s womenfolk about. So soon as she’s sotten down in a chair, I oms with my pipe and lights un. I had puttun away for six mouths or more acos he were that strong as I couldn’t abide un no longer, and he took a powerful lot of drawing. It were al about a gardin as she read, and I reckon as yon chap as preaches in village hall he wore meant to be gardener. But I were powerful hard o’ hearing that day. “ ‘ Read us that bit about they talers again, will you, missis ?' says I after a bit.

“ 4 Why, John,’ she says, a-looking up and a-coughing, • there beant nothing about taters in the book.’

“ 4 Nor in the gardin, neither ?’ sa js I “ * Not in our gardin, my good man.’

“ ‘ Then it youv’e got a gardin and ain’t got no taters set, I don’t hold wi your gardener.’ “ ‘ Ah, but John,’ she says, 4 oura is a spiritual garden.’ “ 4 Then,’ says I, 4 you onghter to have a licence for un which you ain’t got, and I don’t hold wi tha*;, neither’ But read up, missus, it so your’ae on reading. I be terrible hard of hearing.’ 44 4 Well, she downright screeches for three minutes or more and then a puff of bacoa-smoke gets down her throat and sets her off a-coughi»g.

“ 4 1 never could abide they smoking kerridges,’ says she, a-wipin o£ her eyes. “ 4 I counts as half of them as rides in 'em is diuv there so as they shouldn’t alius have women-folk messing around,’ says I, and with that she goes.”