HE WANTED TO BE AN EDITOR.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 134, 28 November 1901, Page 4

HE WANTED TO BE AN EDITOR.

" Have 70a had any previous experience T' asked the editor of a prominent) newspaper ol & vordant Poking youth, who applied for a situation on the staff. "Haven't I though ?" be replied, as h« shoved one foot under his chair to hide the unskilful patching of « backwood cobbler. " I should say I'd had some experience % haven't I corresponded with the Pumpkinville Screamer for six weeks! Hain't that enough experience ?" 1 " That will do pretty well, but when we put young men on our editorial staff, we generally put- them through an «xaminatioa. How much is twelve times one?" •*« Twelve I Why, any little boy ought to an " " Hold on a minute, please. Don't b» too fast. 41 How many bones ace there in the human body ?" ♦•Well, sir, I forget j«»tnowj but I did know wunst." j ««What J Don't you know that ? Why, there are 74,368,962,548,445 bones in na ; ordinary man*" ; "Indeed!" ; ''Yes. A man that snores has one more bone than other people." "What bone is that?" ' " The trombone. It is situated soir*> where in the nose. You will not forgtl that, will you ?" He promised he wouldn't. ■«' Have you got a good constitution ? " «• Pretty good." " How long do you suppose you could live on raw corn and faith, and do thework of a domesticated elephant ? " "I don't believe I could live more than a week." " Well, that's about as long as you'd want to live if you got an editorial position on this paper. You appear to be pretty well posted ; we shall ask you one more question, and if you prora equal to it you can take off your coat •ndaailiu." I* Let me 'are 'er, .squire. I didn't correspond with th« Pumpkinville Screamer six weeks for nuthin". Let 'at come. I'm on deok,'l am." " Well, sir, if two diametrical cirolea with octagonal peripheries should collide with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy* or, to put it plainer, we say a disenfranchised nonentity—what effect would it have on a crystallised oodfiab suspended by the tail from the homogeneous rafters of the empyrean t " As the full force of this pondrrous problem broke In upon his bewildered brain he slowly dragged his inartistioally cobbled shoe from, under the chair and started from the room. Ha them descended the stairs, went out, and shut the door. I The editor resumed his duties, Regretting that so promising » y ou th hoald have been weighed in the baJaieennd found wanting. ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■^■■■■■■■■■MMMMMM^,^^^