Story Column.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 193, 24 August 1901, Page 1

Story Column.

Bits from the Longbush. the Bamboozling oB the BANKER —A RESURRECTIONIST STORY. (By our Contributor “N.”) “ ,My name’s Tarnmn, John Tamaon’v 1 ca’d in about that, thirty shillings.” The banker rosr- hastily from bis and went »nd looked through a small peep hole at Ihe side of the do&_ which give him a vLw of the Jute'S>r of the blank, came hick and said in A low sPrn voiiy. “So you are the that swindled my wife last night.” “ I iliiok it’s the ither way aboot,, Mr Broon, she only paid me half the price', and taiiM me tie come t e you for the itber thirty shilling.” “An 1 what should 1 pay you that for.” “For what I brooht ye,. Maister B'oon.” “ For an empty bag?” “ It was fu* when I bronht it.” “ W’>afc was in it, then ?” “ What did ve ekpec’ tae be in ifc, Maister Broon ?” “ I tell you there was haething in it; just a teem reck.” “ But what did ye expec’ tae he in it'-, Maister B;-o m ?’’ “ What did ye put in it, Mr Tarnson?” •- “There wis a body ia it when I brocht it, Maister Broon.” “ Was it a dead body ?’, “ Ye did’na expea’ a livin’ body, did Maister Broon 1” “ Well it must have come to life again and walked away.” i . “ Oh, dinna tell rile that, Mahler Brobii. My puir grannie, my puir aula grannie wai’rin’. aboout i’® this caul& frosty weather, wi : nothing on bub her sa—*ark.” Cuarlie pulled but a large pocket handkerchief an! fell into ! a violent parokysm of weeping in his best style', which fairly staggered the hanker. A& Charlie went on bemoaning his grannie; his voice {sometimes rising to a howl, the banker would run and have a look through the peephole and run back s tying, “Weeshb. ye blethering assf; speak liiicher, ye dttmnishcd idiot.” Charlie would lower his voice for L little", gradually letting it rise till thb b inker ran to the peep hole agaifi, “ tAf puir auld grannie, she said to me, .* Ayb, 1 >ddie, ye hae baen kin’ tae me, an’ I ha& n vething tae leave ye, but my aulcl bones, an’ noo I’m sorry I houkit bet up, an’ she’s wan’eriu about vri naething on. 6h, what wall I dae, Maister Broon ?” . “ Gat out o’ this ; I wish auld hornli had the pair o’ yo.” “ Pay me ray siller, Maister Brbbti.” •* Y'e’ll get naething from me, and be! thankful if I dinna send for thd police.” , “Ye daurna* Mr Bropn, I’ll gib vol in chairge for making awa’ wi’ my grannie. I brocht her safely to you, ah' Mrs Broon took delivery ; pay me my‘ siller or gie me back my grannie.” Charlie produced a bottle of whisky from his pocket, and offering it to th 4 banker, said, “ Hae, tak a sook o 1 that it’ll maybe saflen yer hard heart.” The banker refused to touch it, saying. “If you would pub less o’ that td your head you would not need to'start 4 low game like this.” “ Ye h.ae said it noo', Maister Broon k jt is a low game for a hanker an’ an eldei" o’ the kirk tao hae anything tae dae wi’. Ye hlastit auld hypocrite, ye wad preach lae me, wad ye, aboot puttin’ less tae m| held? Ye drink mair in a week than X dae in a hale year. Ye didna get that red neb oh ye for naething; I believe there’s nae a nicht ye gang tae yer lied, that yo cud say oor fader’ chart. Paf me my siller, thirty pieces of ailVeir, auld Judas, or I’ll take it 66t p* ybr bide, Y«'ll look weel gaen rOun’ Wi’ the ladll on Sunday wi’ twa black een ah’ a liashed nose.”

While saying this Charlie Slowly prepared to pull off his coat. He had allowed his voice to rise pretty high', and the banker was in a great stats of excitement, and almost speechless hi rah to the peephole; ran round and round and cned “ Woesht,” but when ” he anti Charlie preparing to pull off his coat he ran to a drawer, took out twl rolls of silver, khjl with shaking bandl counted thirty shillings oh td the table. Wheii Chi>rlie saw that he bitched liis coat hack on his shoulcers, took out his handkerchi f, and while nioppin£ his fabe said, ‘ Aye, it’s gey warm id here, Maister Broon "

As he ca-efully counted the money; he said, “ Ye’re a true Christian; Mr Broon. I was sure ye wad never see puir man dam oot o’ what he earned wr the awet o’ his broo.”

Holding out the money in His iiandj he said, “ Ob, Mir Brooh; gie ml b&ctl my gtdnbie, here’s ybr siller back again” ■■■■■■.; ; . : lam lorry to sayy Mr Brood* allowed his pasdoh to get the better of him, hi sahl, “ dang to tbd deevle,” and pointed tb the dooh

Ghar ie bpph’ed the ftbor; andfor thß benefit ol Urn. wondering oleHc, said! “ Wuel, tilt ieday tadypj Mr Broon, an* mony thank*. for ye've been <t kb’ trftid me in mysab a&liotioni an I’ll neVe£ loirget yor gubadvioe,” • At be passed across the &«ik jW lii bang snfOj, wUb.numy v a sob-;

Jy gran mither deed i’ the year aueht# nine, An’ I’ve never be6n weel In the warld sin’ syne.” Se put his handkerchief into his pocket and went outside, with a face that lighted up the whole street, causing one man to remark to another, “That chap has surely come heir to a fortune.” When Charlie met his comrades he gave' them a dramatic recital of hie interview with the banker, to their great delight-

But Davie said, “ Where’s the bottle of whisky ?”

“ I clean fo-got it Davie. I’ll hae td gae back after dinner,” which he did. He went into the bank in the neon and said to the clerk, “ I left a sma parcel in Mr Broon’s room, wad ye get it for me. ”

The clerk went in, hut Mr Brown wag in a fix. It would look bad to hand a bottlo of whisky to the clerk, and Charlie was about the last person he w ished to see. At laic he said. “ Tell Mr Tamson to come in.”

When Charlie entered, Mr Brown was seated at his.writing table, he never spoke, out put ins hand down under the table, brought up the bottle, pushed it over towards Charlie, pointed to the door and wont dc with Ins writing 1 . Charlie took up the bottle, held it up to the light, slowly shook bis he id, and gave the banker a look winch said “My certie, ye haena been id o.” What he did say was, “ Will ye tab anither sook, Maisler Bmon.”

The banter never looked up or spoko, I hut bo had to give up wiring, his hand >:!v>.k so. He took up a bundle q[ papers, and compared tlr-in with a col nun of flgurea in a book, ignoiing Ciui:lie’s presence altogether; Weel, here's you- health Maister ■kroon, and better luck neist time, mouy ■ideal may we hae the piker. Whan wad ye be ready for anither ane; 1 here s Tam Hay, noo, they say he eaiioa live a week, I wad need a liver for him though ; he’s an •hteon stone if he’s an unce, there vva 1 be some cifftin’ un in him, worth two o’ my grannie, she was naethmg but a riclde o’ banes. Well, I see y« re busy the day. I’ll come in ■lome day whe ye hao inair time an’ we’ll hae a crack thegither.”

Charlie took up his bottle, carrying it by the neck in front of him, (lud, leaving the door slightly open behind him, 1m entered the bank ringing “For we are me fou, W e’re no sae very fou.” bringing his ventriloquial powers into play, what appeared to be the.banker’s voice took up the alternate lines Banker • “ But just a wee drap (hie) in oor e’e.” Charlie : “The cock may craw.” Banker ; “ The day may daw.” Charlie: “ But aye we’ll taste the barley bree ” Charlie set the bottle d-wn in front of the astonished clerk, and said, “ Hae, tak a sook o’ that ! its my birthday, ye ken, an’ Maister Brocn an’ mi’s been celebratin’. \e dinna diink whiskj’ ! Aweel, there’s nae compulsion, Pointing w.th his thumb to the banker’s roomy “ He’il drink tneuch for ye Imith.” As he went towards toe door the' muffled rounds were heard as from the banker’s room : “ The cock may craw ; the day may daw.” Cbarlio turned bick and whimpered to the lilert, “ Ye should get him to his bed; he’ll be ri ncht gin lie has a sleep.” So ended Charlie’s bambiozhng of the barmoi. He certainly was pretty rough with i i:o, and the banker as certainly deserved it. It put a stop to the traffic to Abersheen fr.*m that quarter. Acting on the advice of Mr Black, the two kept quiet about the exploit. Bub it soon leaked out, possibly through the cadger, what sort of traffic the hanker had been engaged in. He talked big and threatened law proceedings for defamation of character, bub that was all the length he got. During the short time Charlie was in Scantly he met the banter several times on the street. He always look ofl hia bonnet with a great show of respect a- d carried it in his hand until he passed him, of which the banker took no notice. One day Charlie saw the banker standing talking to some gentlemen. He went up, touched him on the arm, and said, “Could I speak tae yo for a minute, Maister Broon ? ” Th > banker had no hope but to step to one side with him ; ha was afraid what Charlie might say in tire hearing of others. Charlie gave the banker a look which would bs very hard to describe and said, “ Tam’s deid.” [The End.]