Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 187, 10 August 1901, Page 3

Clippings.

B icon : '' You *aj you son at College ■•> nes a b.>ld hand ?" Egbert : " i •.hwuld >ny «■>. He'b just written for ioOdol moiv." She :•' Takfl eara A'f-od ! That isn't th* omedy tor aa* aioko.iaa. D.m't you *••« tho hotila i« mirk d poison ?" Ha (groaainj) $ " That's the one I want." Thi First Visit fco the Zoo : Tommy (!«oki:ig at the zf-hra-) , " Them ain't uonkys, Billv ?" Billy : "Yur, they is. They're doikoy? With their football jerseys o'n !"' Agreed With Her.—Jimmy ; " Me aunt was uvui' to cell me thai, ntnokin' is i. jur'.iu.-." Tommy ; " VVell, it might bo if yer old man ketehss yer." A 'Heartless Man.—"Oh Flanders! You'ie mother in law left h-.r tfas turned on in her room, the wind blew it out, and she was noai ly suffocated." " That's just lik« her. As if tmat gas h.ll was not big enough aiready I" Sharing the Glory.—" Your wife is'nt one of thosse women wh> want to pnt a husband in the background and maki him stay there." "No,' indeed." "Is sue trying to make you prominent;" " Yes. She is goiug to deliver a lecture to her on how to manage husbands, and she wwnts ma to come up on the platform and be an example." Taking no risks—Ye?; " he has proposed by letter," shi explained. "Now, do you think I ougit to post my answer immediately or keep him in suspense for a whiln?" "Paib it" exekimod her dearest friend, in a t- ne that had a trace of spitefulness in it. "If I were you I'd te!ear»ph if- !" And there was an emphasis put on " If I were you " that came near breaking a friendship that had extended over several years.

SPREADING HA.PPINSSS. " I neve but oco rule that I follow absolutely in this life, and that is t> make other people as happy a 3 possible* «'Well," she said, "you ought to le gratified, fien, at what I heard a young lady say the other day." "What was that? " '♦She said that whenever ahe saw you danoing she had iilftugb..*'