Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 182, 30 July 1901, Page 3

Clippings.

, He sal it) the door at noonday, he was lonely, and glum, stud sad;'lis fite* i were buzzing jdy-u* him, led by a blue winged ga-i. Not & customer darkcd his portals, not a sign of business was there; but (he flies kopt on their buzzing, about the old man's hair. At last in despair he shouted, " Great Scott ! I'm eovcrad with Sies !"' And tho zephyr that toyed with bis whiskors aaked, " Why don't you advertise 1" WHY HE WAS LIKE THE PBINCE. " Now," said the schoolmaster, as be displayed a bright live shilling piece between the tips of his firiger and thumb, " the first boy or girl who putn a riddle to mc that I can not answer will receive a gift." "Any more?" ho asked, as soon &h silence wau restored aud no one churned the coin. "Yes, Rir," sang out a little fellow from the farther cud of the room, "why am I like the Prince of ?'"' " The Prince of Wales," Raid the wßntf". "thr. Prince of Walea?" he repeated to buußelf " Et-aliy Johnny, T s«o no resemblance in jou ; I'll give it up." "Because," cried the hid joyfully. " I'm v/aitinr, for too crown." . COBBECTING THE TEACHEK. ' A teacher at an evening school had before hsr a class in which the;s were irj.iny lada. "Suppose," said (he teacher, "I should way, "Look out, boys-he;--ecmcH the pobco ! would that be proper V ■ There was alienee. Finally a liftle follow sr.irl i " N.-:, mum, that wouldn't bs "Well," inquired tho teacher, "how should it be said ':" " Cheese it, blokes —here comes a bloom hr' cop," was tho reply. '.PHEJWftOKG TLAfjV.. A few \vca\zs>. ago a friend of mine to fish, in the sea off Manly pior. lie l-.ad Vieon ummeeeHshil in catebiug any fist., when one of the local loafers v;lvj had been watching bis nou-auoces* hazarded this remark : '■ I shy, sir. whs.t bail have ycu got on ycv\v*Y : '■ Cheese,''htudihe angler, who knew ir.oro f-boi-.t esiiug *h.h thra catching them. " Why, bless y*iy' said tho loafer, " tliers ain't no mice in there. " Blttf-AKINO-IT GENTuY. An accident had occurred in a quarry, and a jnar. hud been killed. An Iriehuiim volunteered tra break the urjWfc gc";i:t! y to hi l ) wife, which he did in the following winner: Vnl : ''Thfit was a aad accident to your hr,:-ihana'y goid watch, .uln Murphy." Mr-, Murphy : " Sure, au" it's divil the witch h\- had, nov." Put: " P"J ilia t.oul, aii' that's lucky! for thore'd tec ton o' rock .u.dlo;i on DZYSES XJISiCASSS. A the otrer day on hi; cla-js iked ffhat wns meant by diver* diseases. Nc reply was vouchsafed for sometime, but on repeating the question be was rather surprised when one of the boys answered : " Water cm the brain f* HOT TALL ENOUGH. When it was thought Germany wanted to get good foo ! bold in Holland, Biama- ek was onUiiaiiiinii the Dutch Ambassador with a review of the German Army. As one fine bo iy of men imvohed by, Bifim*rck p;ud to the Du ch Ambassador—- " Whut do you think of ihose m-n ':' "Fine soldiers," said ibo Ambassador, " but not call enough !" Af-er nnother body mnrahed by, the same-inquiry waR-put a»d the same reply made. Then . came the recimeut of Gremvliors, between Oft. and 7ft. te.lL " What do y.;u think of those T asked Bi.miarck, "Fine roldiers, but" net tall enough," was the reply. " Whnt dofc3 your e.tcellency mean V said Bismarck. " I mean that, by'oponing ouv dykes%Ye c»n let in the Bea and flood Holland Sft deep," r-plied the AmbASflndor. Qems of Verse, , oTheconat r.t drop ot wiiter Wears Bwny the hardest stone ; The constant gnaw of Towter Maaticatt-8 the toughest bone ; The Ci-nnUnt cooing lover CB.rrie.-i oir the blushing maid. And th-. constant advertisnr la the one who gpts the trade. WITHOUT A WOM AK IN IT. 'l'hey talk about a woman'a aphoie, Ah though it had a limit. There's pot a place in earth or heaven. There'B not a task to mankind given, There's not a biewii-g or a woe, .TheiVs not a whisper7ee or no, Third's net a life, or death, or birth, That hao a weight of worth Without a woman i■• it. THE MTLLEK'S DAUGHTER. •' Who is your father, my pretty maid ?" " Fftther's a miller, sir, " shs said. "Whi h in his mill, then, my pretty . maid?" " That over yonder, sir," she said. ««Why, that is the treadmill, my' pretty maid." Six monthß in his sentence, sir," she said,