How He Managed It.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 180, 25 July 1901, Page 3

How He Managed It.

In the land of Ire —as we all knos; who have passed through that vale of tears —the stat.iohmasters at small stations are not to be distinguished from ordinary mortals. There was a race meeting at JBalyknockhim, and many of the sporting element ran the time as near as couid be, so much so that some of them had not time to get tickets before jumping into the train. When nearing Bab knockhim they be K an to ponder on the subject, saying ; ‘ How will they give us tickels-here ? They will l« delaying, and shure we’ll miss the forsl race.’ One of the company observed; ‘ Oh, I’ll get them for ye ; don’t be annoying yourselves.’ On ailiving at the station before Balyknockhim out he got, and pte B'uis returned. ‘ How many are there of ye without tickets ?’ he askq,d. ‘Three,’they said. ‘Oh, by the mother of Moses, I have larkings and iavings for ye—l have foive.’ ‘ More power to ye. How did ye get them ?’ ‘ Oh, I saw a carriage full of English tourists, so l opened the door, and said, sharply, to them, ‘ Now* then, tickets here !’ and be jabers Ibcy handed them up at once.’ He: ‘lf I’d kruuyn that tunnel was so long I’d havekissed you.’ She : ‘ Didn’t you ?’ The migration of birds,is supposed to have originated during the glacial period. LAKEJLORD AMD tEHAHTi, Tcnr.nt'fwlio has complained of watev In the cellar and leakages from the Voof) : * 1 certainly adhere to my original decision that Until those defecis are Remedied I cannot pay any rtioro rent.’ Landlord: ‘Then I must give the order to have you put ont on the pavetnent in the morning.’ - Tenant; ‘thanks. J bar* no doubt it Krill bo drier »».ii >h to ah<»'t»i*’i there.’

t)nrinff a kit inspection In an infantry regiment a mop had boon left prrtppni With the head uppernioßt agaiiigt a spars, bed-cot. The captain, who was vers short-sighted, bn entering, pointed U the mop, and exclaimed in a loud, shart Voice: ‘ Colobr-fletgeaht, see that wan gets hh haiif out!’ A young doctor in Ontario attended hn old lady who was too poor to pay. A few months later she came into £16(000, and dying soon after bdgudaihad it'tu the: doctor* ,