“SHAVE, SIR?”

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 173, 9 July 1901, Page 4

“SHAVE, SIR?”

A bald-headed man with four days’ growth of beard on bis chin went into a bar er's shop and sat down in one of the operating chad's, sayi a contemporary, i'o him presently went the knight of the razor, who remarked, interrogatively, Shave, Sir ?” “ No,” growled the man in the chair. ‘ I wane, to oe measured f>r a suit ••£ clothes.”

Tnis statement 8-emed to surprise thß barber, but he managed to say. “This isn't a tailor s shop, sir.”

“Isn’t it ?” “Vvinu is it ?” “It’s a barber’s shop.” “ Wi! ,t sort of work do you io in this s hop ? ’

“ Sh vj men and cut their hair, sir.’’

“ Do you tdiink a mm with no hair on his head would co ac in here to h ,ve hia hair cut” “ No, sir.” “’Do 110 -k like a lunatic ?” *

Ih s was replied by a silent shake of the head, but the barber th -ught he was doubtlessly acting like one. “Th n, presuming mt to be a sand man, but bald-headed, what wedd you u aturally suppose I came here for ?” “For a shave.”

“ Then, my sir, why did you ask me if I wanted a shave, when I took a seat in your chair ? Why didn’t you go to work at once? If some of your harbors would .cultivate a habit of from easily ascertained data, instead of developing such wonderful and eatohetical powers, it would be of material aid in advancing you in your oho on vocation, and of expanding your profit*. Do Vou comprehend ?”

“ \ es” replied the man, as he began td la' her the customer’s face in a dazed sort of way, and h« never even a-ked him if hs wanted oil on his hair when the operation was pei formed.

HOOLEY AGAIN, Eiueat Terah Hooley, champ'on incubator of wild cat schemes and pig directorates, who failed a couple of years ago for a modest two raillbns, and sail that every creditor would receive payment in full, met those nnfo tunates the beginning of lust month in the Gannon btreet Hotel—a swagger “ pub. * It is stated that Mr Hooley l-.oked the picture of perfect health ; he wore urk independent air and a smile of careless ease like the Juggins who broke the b nk at Monte Carlo. Ernest Terah also wore a fashionably cut pepper-and salt suit, and the latest thing in fancy waist* coats; the cigar he smoked cost a guinea. The creditors—a nnmber of whom bore the appearance of derelicts —were informed that a first dividend of 31 in the £ was nearly ripe for payment, and possibly there would be a further dividend .f 2d The creditors said they WtTe astounded there Was so much money available, and they were glad Mr Hooey‘s losses had not affected his sp rits nor Mtered his taste for fancy [ vests. Ernest Terah Hooley threw h s half-smoked guinea cigar into the grate, and taid he was sorry he could not Siy with truth, the same good things to his visitors.