THE WAIMATE ADVERTISER. THURSDAY, MARCH 28, 1901. Notes and Comments.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 129, 28 March 1901, Page 2

THE WAIMATE ADVERTISER. THURSDAY, MARCH 28, 1901. Notes and Comments.

o How easily some people are offended

not understood,

was exemplified at an up-country township the other night. Some

meeting of local im’ portance was in progress, and the promoters, following biblical example had gone out into the high-ways and byeways and gathered all and' sundry in, yea, a great multitude (for the place), amongst them being a certain “ Dick the Devil.” a mild looking man with fish-like eyes. The serious business hud been disposed of, when the village blacksmith, probably puffed up by being “ mentioned in poetry,” put a riddle : ” Why is Dick the Devil like a camel ?” Dick, who was slightly know—at once became a target for all eyes, but beyond a slight roundnoss of the shoulders nothing in common was visible. Someone remarked that it was because Dick had “ the hump ” new and the camel had it always. This was strictly correct, but was not the answer. “ Well,” said the blacksmith, “ the difference is that Dick can drink for seven days without working, and the camel can work for seven days without drinking.” And no one can understand what reason Dick had for throwing a stone at the man of iron

when tho gathering dispersed. The taking of the 1901 census is upon

GATE FASTENINGS.

us and soon the papers will be flooded with census stories cen-

Isible and censeless.— Even now the wail of the sub-euumer- ' ator is heard in the land. One of the genus, in an up-country district, is racking his brains to think of a suitable gate fastener cheap enough to commend itself to everyone. When he has discovered this, and had it attached to all gates ho is going to pose as a public benefactor and have a bust (not ordinary “ bust," but one in marble representing himself) placed in the Wairaate Town Hall. Ho does not so much object to the puzzle gate fastener, that keeps you rattling till one of the family comes out and drives off the dog, which would have masticated him Yad he got in quickly—that has its uses. He does not mind the gate which is light on its axis, and has him chasing it in hot haste. No, these difficulties are nothing compared to the gate-fastener fearfully and wonderfully contrived from barbed wire, and which suddenly dies over on the other hand and pecks it savagely, or to the gate which has no fastening, but requires all a man’s strength to carry it open, or to the high gate which is locked, and has a barbed cloth-sampler on top. Then there is the gate tied with string in six knots, requiring a forty-band man to untie then|, and |he ga|o made of half-a-dozen rately ’tOrft. post, and thany others equally wonderful. The harrassed man swears he has lost ilpsb enough to feed hia ckt a week, his first duty on returning home will be to hand over his clothes to be used for patching bis second suit; but things may not be so bad yet. When he starts to collect the papers, and has to' enquire if the ladies would be prepared to swear on oath that the ages have set down are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, he will find that his present complaint is, comparatively speaking, pure and unalloyed joy.