Wit and Wisdom.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 127, 23 March 1901, Page 3

Wit and Wisdom.

One afternoon the Peasant went up iuto the mountain to the cave of the Sage and said : “0. worthy man, I want to bo taught wisdom, Ido not live happily with my wife.” “ And it's her fault, of course,” observed the Sage. “Entirely so. She always beats mo in an argument.” “ Then, why not beat her with a stick ? ” “ Because.she can also boat me ai that game.” “ Have you threatened to leave ? ” “ I have, but she would be glad to have me go.” “ You hive tried argument ? ” “ A thousand times over, but she can go five words to my one.”

“ How about silence ? ” asked the Sage, after thinking.

“If I am silent she does all the talking. Tell me, 0 Sage, what must I really do ? ”

“ There are wives ftnd wives, G Peasant. Some are full of humility, and some are determined to boss the roost. The man who hath a humble wife is in luck and may rejoice. The man who hath the other kind must make up his mind that he is not, and find happiness in being bossed.”

Moral : An evil endured becomes half a blessing.

Old Colonel , whose phenomenal stinginess has earned him a very unenviable reputation, was riding to the parade ground. Suddenly his horse, evidently in a very weak con dition, stumbled and fell. “I have tried all sorts of physios,” said the colonel to a sympathetic brother officer, “ and they haven’t done the poor beast any good.” “ Colonel,” inquired the officer, with a naughty twinkle in his eye, “ did you ever try oats ? ” The parson extended the box to Bill, but he Slowly shook his head. “ Come, William, give something,” said the parson, “ Can’t do it,” said Bill. “ Why not ? Is not the case a good one? ” “ Yes, good enough, but I’m hot able to give anything,” said Bill. “ Pooh! pooh 1 I know better : you must give mo al* better reason than that.” % P \ “ Well, T owe too much jponey ; and I must be just before I am generous.” -- % “Bu‘, Williams, you owe Heaven a larger debt than you owe anyone else.” “ That’s true, parson ; but Heaven ain’t pushing me the rest of my creditors,”