A TRIPPLER’S DILEMMA.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 109, 16 February 1901, Page 1

A TRIPPLER’S DILEMMA.

A niftn coining home late one night, a little more than half-seas over, feeling thirsty, procured a glass o£ water, and drank it. In doing so, he swallowed a ball of silk that lay in the bottom of the glass, the end catelling in In's teeth. Feeling something in his month, and not knowing what it was, he begun pulling at the end, and the little ball unrolling, he soon had several yams of silk in his hands, and still no end was apparently in sight. Terrified, ho shouted at the top of his voice : “Wife! wife! Isay, wife, come here; I am unwin ling!” NOT THE LESS TO BE PITIED'. Among the visitors to a fine art exhibition wore two old ladies from the country. They wore engaged in examining with great interest the statue of a young Greek, underneath which were inscribed the words, “Executed in terracotta.” “Where is Terri Cotta?” asked the cider of the two, turning to her companion. “ I haven’t the least idea,” replied the other. “ Ab, well ” observed the first speaker, “ it doesn’t much signify ! The poor man who was executed is not the less to be pitied, whoever it may be.” HE MEANT PALL-DEADER A Frenchman went up to a Londoner ai\a said to him : “ What does a Polar boar do ?” The Londoner answered : “ What does a Piilar bear do? Why, he sin,; on the ice.” “ Hits on zee ice ?” “ Ves,” said the Londoner, “ there is nothing also to sit on.” “ Veil, vat he do. too ?” “What does he also do? Why, he eats fish.” “ Eats fish —zits on zee ice and eats fish ? Then I not accept.” “Why, what do you mean? You dc-nt accept ? What do you mean ?” “ Oh, non, no ’-, I dues not accept. I was invited to be a Polar bear to a funeral HER DESTINATION, I know, said the maid, That however ttelav.’d. Or wherever the. v cssel be, There’s a port fir away (Tor the waters gi ,yv For each ship that sails life’s sea. And if youth catch u gleam Upon fountain or stream That kindles the flame in his breast, Smo ag n has no season As sweet as the Eden Of its far-away haven of rest. But, however we sail, In sunshine or gale, I think, whme'e.r (bis I scan, That the whoie boundless sea Hath no haven for me Ko sweet as the Isle of man. Russia’s national debt is £78,398,000 ; Japan’s E'2-l i’21.9-i'S. According to some men’s notions the law that needs repealing worst is the mother-in-law. Imitation must be the sincerest flattery ; . but a girl does not think so when she is presented with a paste diamond 1 Mandic: “ Mamma is so peculiar. She is always nervous when any. young man is paying me attention.” Lueilli i ; “That’s strange. Why is it, do you suppose ?” Maudie; “ Oh, she is afraid he will not propose.” Here is a curious chain of destruction. Tire mongoose was introduced irro Jamaica to kill rats. After killing out afl the rats, the mongoose attacked all the birds which laid their eggs on the ground, killing the birds a’-d earing their eggs. Now these birds were the only means by which a certain pestiferous tick was kept under. With the disappearance of the bird? the ticks have reappeared in great numbers, and by a curious Nemesis have attacked the mongoose, and the Jamaicans are rej-icing in the prospect of celebrating before long the disappearance of the last mongoose. Cayenne pepper is prepared, not from a pepper plant, but from a capsicum. Neither is burgundy pitch pitch ; nor does it come from Burgundy. Jerusalem artichokes do not come from. Jerusalem. The p’ant is not a native of the Holy I,and. The Jerusalem artichoke is a sunflower, and gains its name from the French word “ girasole,” meaning “ plant which turns towards the sun.” Turl :oyg do not come from Turkey. The bird is a native of America. Caraels’-hair brushes are made from the soft, bushy tail of the common squirrel. German silver is not silver at all, but an alloy of various of the baser metals, which was invented in china, ami used there for centuries. An injustice is done to Gennauy in calling the cheap but useful wooden-cased clocks she has so long produced Dutch. The mistake arises from from the German word for German — “ Deutsch.”

Cork legs are not constructed of cork, neither did they , come from the city of that name. The usual material for a cork leg is weeping willow, covered with raw hide. People with or . without cork legs sometimes pride themselves they are wearing porpoiso-hide boots. So called porpoise hide is in reality the skin of the white whale. Prussian blue does not come to us from Prussia. It is a chemical product of which Ergumd makes her full share. Irish stew is not an Irish but an English dish; and Turkish baths did not originate in Turkey, but in Eussia. Cleopatra’s Needle has nothing to do with Cleopatra, but was set up about 1,000 years before that lady was born, by Thotmes 111., a full record of whose wonderful exploits is preserved in the Temple of Karnak and in the British Museum.