Clippings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 108, 14 February 1901, Page 3

Clippings.

A BRIDAL STORY

The Wellington Free Lance is responsible for the following story:—

A bridal couple were staying at the Royal Oak one day last week, when, at the breakfast table, in tlie hearing of the waiter, the apparently unspeakably happy bride pouted and said.: —‘“Here we’ve only been married two days, Clarence, and you're scolding mo already.’* The busban ! looked up good-naturedly from his chop, and smiled forbearingly as he replied;—“Yes, my dear but just -think how long I’ve been wailing for the chance,” Was it any wonder that the waiter, who is a mirried man himself, dropped the teapot. A KNO T I'T QUESTION, The following is a report of a duel, as it appeared in a Now York paper.: “ Yesterday morning at The 'Oral, Messrs Shutt ami Notd mot, iii'looil paces apart, to settle a matter of honour, so to apeak, at the cannon’s mouth. Both gentlemen 11 red simultaneously, hue the seconds, as we go to press, have not determined who was tiie victorious combatant. Rumour has it that Nott was shot, and Shott was nor. In fact, Shott swears the shot lie shot shot Noll ; and, on the other hand, Noll alarms the shot ho shot slioi Shott. Wo candidly confess on r inability to docile, but we undoubted 1 v believe Nut is not Shott, neither is .Shott Nott.” THE FIGURE FIEND. Some day a paternal Legislature, having made life worth living in many other respects,will step into the breach, and make the proDouudiiig and publication ot com-

punitive statistic!? tunt proportionate comparisons a capital oll'ence when they can servo no economic purpose. At present Die trail of toe sranstic fiend is all over our magazines and daily newspapers. Pictures el’ the cow that a man cats in a lifetime, standing upon the barrel containing the. beer.he drinks in the same period, may 1)-; impress’! Vi', and even in a souse in.-irue:ive, hut they are a lorm of instruction which is lamentably useless and inartistic. Then the fact that the honilaces b man breaks in his allotted three score y.'ars and ten, upon which base? all averages are worked, would go I‘irec times round the world, and leave enough ovei to make a cable a mile long, and thirr am and a half incites thick', may he indisputable, but it is a distinctly vexations evidence of wdinl waste. It is an annoying piece of intormation, too. lor, nnhicn ho man who j> 1 t,;i’• ‘i an aloe for the purpose of le-a i n_r the siateinent that Dio plant oniy llowere 1 once in a hundred years, it is impossible to iry it, its before Die calculation is home intelligently upon in, a ce. -

min miiiihor of broken laC'S haw I; am lord in tiio illimitable years. Tito habit dostrovri ideals iintl I>;-g tk-i down aml)itions. Poupiimagine that there is a possibility of 1 a ruing chess, at (east they 'nave cherished that fond delusion in the past. Bur now a figure fi-md has risen up, and announced that there are twenty possible ways of making the first move on each side, and 318,97U,;)1i4,0<)0 of making the first ton. Were one to play without cessation, at the rare of one set a minute, it would take more than odd,Odd years to go through them all. The number of ways of playing the first lea moves on each side is I*V.», 5 Id. Bml. 100,544,000,000,000, 000,0 !J. And yet this man is allowed to live. He should be punished in the proper GHberlian aiau'iO!', by being made to devote the remaining years of liifi lifefor at least a partial practical proof of his thesis. —Lyttelton Times. PHILATETIC.

I was iFlcm; she was my firstlove. Our fathers had known each other all their lives; wo lived in close proximity. We could see their garden wall from our dining room windows.; a row of elms hid their house from the street. It is pleasent to remember that row of trees ; it is reassuring.

I used to cail in the springtime, at night, a littie after seven —a poet might speak of the gloaming — and she talked to me from her bedroom window. She. collected postage skimps—perhaps that is why I remember her. One’s lovers grow so numerous and difficult to remember after twenty years it is helpful when we can remember what they collected. Our love flourished. I had the good fortune to find a collection of postage stamps in my brother’s box. For the time he had forgotten it. At first I was lavish,; ten a day was nothing unusual, but experience taught mo that five would serve equally well.

So oar love prospered. By .and bye tho collection came to an end,; it was never very large. I learned later that my ’brother valued it rather lor its quality than for its quantity. Unfortunately, I knew little of postage stamps. Supplied in ‘quantities, ithey earned me t

smiles. I did not trouble to learn their value. French five cents and Black English were much the same to me—l was no collector. I have come to think that her love was dearly bought. With autumn my visits to her window were shortened, lest she suffered from the effects of the night air. There was ever a sameness in my wooing.

“ Madeleine 1 ” I would whisper. “ Ah—you are late.” “I am sorry, Madelaino:; it was your brother.” “ You have seen him ? ” “ He spoke to rao at the gate.” “ Did ho tell “you of the Uruguayan tenth issue?” I groaned. This was her manner of reminding me. “ No, Madolaine; he told me about the new dog.” She would laugh, and would withdraw a moment, to return with her hateful stamp a;bum. “It is a lovely specimen. It was sweet of Jack Scurmau to give it to mo.” “ Is it valuable ?” I groaned. “ Very,” was the prompt reply. He m ist have bought it for mo. Who would write to the Sourmaas from Uruguay ? ” “Madelaino,” 1 cried, “I have some bill stamps hero—Russian. Turks, and Austrian. I—l bough, thorn.” Of Turks she had plenty ; she hoped I had not paid much for the Russians, for they •were common 'Truly, her love was dearly bought.

It was her brother who exposed in 3 We had a iliilbivnco, a matte . of no consequence, ivb'fiy out o pr) port ion to his revenge. lit told her to whom the stamps belonged. I had it from him later Unit she made very certain tho collection was exhausted. Bo was [ heartbroken. Her scorn was so bitter that it amazed mo ; sho did not return tho accursed things. What trouble it would have spared me with my brother. And I bought those stamps years ago at a bazaar for the emancipation of the British in the Transvaal. It was Ma,delaine who sold them to mo. — N.K.S. in the Outlook.