Untitled

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 102, 29 January 1901, Page 3

Man was buill|after nil other things had been made and pronounced good. If not he would have insisted on giving his ordeis as to the rest of the job. An Old Villager in Trouble —A poor woman who had just been deprived of her husband by death was visited the day after the occurrence by a neighbour. On entering the cottage she found the widow with a large cog full of brose before her. “Well Tibbie,” said she sympathetically •‘hoo are ye the day, elter yonr saillos?” “Oh, I’m gey ill,” Tibbie replied; “I’m gey ill, aweel, I’ve been greetin' sin’ fewer o’clock this moniin’, an’ I’m ju t pawn to begin again whenever I’m done wi’ my brose.” Hopeless: Teacher: If your mother had twenty five yards of stuff and made a dress containing eighteen yards, how much would she have left ? Little Girl: Mamma can’t make her own dresses. She has tried often, and tirCj are always either too Teacher: Suppose she sent it to- a dressmaker, how much would the dressmaker send back ? Little Girl: Depends on which dressmaker she sent it to. Some wouldn’t send back any. Teacher (impatiently): Suppose she sent it to an honesl one ? Little GirT: Some of the honsstest ones cut things to waste so that there is never anything left, no matter how you send ’em. “ Married yet, old man ? ” “ No, but I’m engaged, and that’s as good as married.” “ It’s better, if you only knew it.” Tell-tale Confusion. Maud: Don’t you think Mr Fiyrt has a very sensitive mouth, dear ? May (highly embarrassed)l—er—how should I know ? Quite suitable—Jewe’ler: That ring is only plated, sir—hardly suitable for an engagement ring. Customer: Oh, well, it will probably last as long as the engagement. He : How do you like Foppington, Miss Barrow ? Miss Barrow: Not at all. Ha can’t pronounce his r’s ; and I do protest being addressed as “ Miss Bow-wow.” The Malay language is spoken by mors than 40,000,000 persons. It has been estimated that steamers are 20 per cent safer than sailing vessels. The donkey is the longest lived of domestic animals. The German Army has the healthiest troops in the world. Among the Burmese, football is. as popular as it is in English-speaking countries. But the Barman scorns to wear boots* He kicks and shoots goats with his bare feet*