Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 101, 26 January 1901, Page 4

Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings.

Twenty-five years ago the terea paragraphs of Henry Wheeler Shaw (" Josh Billings ") were to be found iu the newspapers nl\ over the Urrittd States, and hia hooks had a large sale on both sides of the Atlantic. His popularity waned, however, when the phonetic spelling fad became a thing of the past, and now ho is conjpataitively unknown to the present generation. Shaw's wise and witty sayings gain much force by being put into good English, and they deserve to be rescued from oblivion and clothed in "ordinary language." The following selections are surely worthy of a new lease of life in more seemly garb than that in which jthey originally appeared:—

Health is a loan at call. A mule is a bad pun on a horse. A fib is a lie painted in water colors. Igucrauce is the wet nurse of prejudice. E'id yon over hear a rich man sing? We have made juctice a luxury of civilisation.

Wit without sense is a razor without a handle.

Old age increases us in wisdom—and rheumatism.

Time is money, and many people pay their debts with it. It ia easier to be a harmless dove that a decent serpent. Benevolence is the oream on the miik of human kindness.

Face all things; even adversity is polite to a man's face.

I Beware of the man with half-shut eyes. He's not dreaming. People of good sense are those whose opinions agree with oarß.

It is little trouble to a graven image to be patient, even in fly time. Half the discomfort of life is the result of getting tired of ourselves. Humor must fall out of a man's mouth like music out of a bobolink.

Necessity is the mother of invention, but patent light is the father. Most men are like eggs, too full of themselves to hold anything else.

Pleasure is like treacle. Too much of it spoils the taste for anything. Men nowadays are divided into slow Christians and wide awake sinners. Passion always lowers a great man, bat always elevates & little one.

There are people who expect to escape hell because of the crowd going there. Manner is a great deal mora Attractive than matter—ospeciallyin a monkey. Adversity to a man is jike training to a pugilist—it redcues him' to hia fighting weight. No man can be a healthy jester unless he baa been nursed at the breast of wisdom.

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared, aod they are—twins. I Many a man has lost a good position in this world by letting go to spit on bis hands.

Mice fatten ilow in a church. They [can't live on religion any more than ministers can.

If virtue did npt so often «|»nage to [make herself repv Jstye, vioe would not be half eo attractive.

When lambs get through being lambs they become oheep. This takes, ali.tbe sentiment out of them. M