LEAVES FROM A TEACHER'S DIARY.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume III, Issue 63, 25 October 1900, Page 1

LEAVES FROM A TEACHER'S DIARY.

Many curious answers and quaint . remarks are made by children in school. It will be my purpose ia uhis short paper to give a selection of these humorous anecdotes of , school children. Scholars, especially boys, are ; never at a iOB3i 083 f or a definition. For oxample, question a boy as to what "faith "is, ana he will tell you thai it i 3i 3 « believing what you know is not true." One day a teacher asked a class of boys tho meaning of the word "faith " No answer. " Well, boys, suppose 1 looked out of that window and saw something very unusual, say a leg of ham and a boat, and I tell you of it. If you believe it, that's faith. Now, Tommy, you were not' attending. What's faith ?" Tommy thought for a moment, and then said : « Please, sir, it's a leg o' ham and a boat." " What 13 a ruminating animal ?'» asked a teacher oue day. « A beast that 1 chews her cubs," was the answer. The same scholar said that the milk was sour because the milkman had a sour cow. " A monsoon is a kind of suhstroke caused by the moon.'" "ffc \ g alsj "a wind that travels ninetytwo miles an hour," One day a teacher in a Birmingham school asked a class of boys r " What is Parliament ? " A little boy, who apparently thought thai; fche town in which he lived was the most important in Britain, answered that Parliament is a place where the gentlemen go to talk all about Birmingham. At an examination a schoolboy was asked *fco explain how dew is formed. The inspector was much amused when he read the boy's answer : « The earth revolves on an axle every twenty-four 'hours, aad in consequence of the tremendous pace at which it travels, it perspires freely. This perspiration is called dew." An inspector was once examining a class in mental arithmetic. " How old would a, person be who , was born in 1868 ?" * He was much astonished when a little boy (near the foot of the class)- -cried out : " Please, sir, was it a man or a woman ?" -I heard a very good story the other day. At an examination in a • school, the inspector asked fUifctle boy, a bit of a dunce, " Who jjpeNapoleon Bonaparte?" "Please Ju£' was tha reply, "he wis just a •raannie like yer^elY' " What is a transparent object ?" asked an inspector one day. « A thing you can see through," replied the boy. "Right; give me m example," continued the examiner. " A pane of glass, sir." » Right ; another example, next boy." «A* key-hole, sir/ was the unexpected reply. There is no chance of getting ahead of the schoolboy. One was asked the other day by his teacher why ships and engines are called "she." "Please, mum," was tbs reply, " it's because they need men to keep them ia order." One day, recently, a teacher asked a boy to' name some important things existing to-day which were unknown a hundred yeara ago. « Us," was the unexpected answer of a little boy. "What doea lbs stand for?'* asked a 'teacher one day. Sha xvom much amuspd when a little rid answered, " Elbows*"