THE ABSENT-MINDED MULE.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume II, Issue 95, 13 January 1900, Page 4

THE ABSENT-MINDED MULE.

o When your walking out your Glouowters and your Irish Fusiliers, And you feel iike slapping Kruger in th« mouth, Don't forget to keep an optlo on a littla obap with ears, A gentleman in floor-boards, just oom* South. He's an absent-minded beggar, and his style is pretty high, Though, of course, we've got to take him as we find him. He is here on active service, though li6*B been nnd done a gu", And left a lot o' little things bahind him 1 Old mule — bold mule — mule of th« hairy tail — Mule of spine and swift hind hoof and flabby scornful lip — Each of him doing bis country's work (how when he happens to fail ?) Never- go nap on an army mula, 'caut»e he'll skip 1 skip ! skip! He's the thing for stony country, hard as nails, and as tough as boot ; You can feed him cheap and work him veiy late ; You can load him up with most things, from lemonade" to loot, But small-arm ammunition ain't bis weight ; O, the boys thatkicked him casual, the/'il be soiry now he's gone, For an absent-mindedjjeggar they will find him ; Tbey'ie safe and sound with Joubert (and the fun just coming on !) Our poor Tommies that the mala h«» leit behind him 1 What mule?-— Pot mule— Bon of & blawsted gun— Son of a Lambeth publican — bora to give us the slip — E&oh of him doing his country's work (Loidy, how it get's done) Never^go nap on an army mula 'cause he'll skip ! skip I skip 1 He's been trained to smell blank cartridge and wink the other eye, He delighted in the music of the band, But he'd never saw no boulders and h* didn't want to die, And shot, and shell were more than ha could stand ; He's an absent-minded beggar, though he heard his country's call, And his ieg'ment didn't need_to send to find him ; lie chucked his job and bolted — and the job before us all la to get the men he's wcat and left bs« hind him I Rough job — tough job — job for Buller and Co. Job for fifty thousand men (that's the bloomiag tip 1) Each of 'em doing his country's work" each of 'em having a go ; Each of 'cm ' waio of the army mule what'll skip t ekip ! ,skip I We've retired, and retired, and retired " with the dawn," And fallen back and back and back and bacii ; We've ' hammered Paul ' like Britons, and carefully withdrawn And scooted home along the Southern track ; Paul's an absent-minded beggar, and m*j not see thB joke, But he doesn't need a lawyer to remind him That, although his day ia over, and his obligarchy's broke, We've never yet got through him or behind him ! Fair war— square war — war of the fine old sort. (Fifty thousand horse and foot oafe for a little trip) ; Each of 'em doing his country's work (and a, trifle keen on the sport). Yet its no good running a righteous war on skip 1 skip 1 skip ! T. W. H. 0., in the " Outlook."