Alleged Humor.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume II, Issue 93, 9 January 1900, Page 3

Alleged Humor.

By Scissors.

Souter Tanson— " What's an epigmm, John ?" John (the village encyclopaedia) -" An epigiam, Souter Tanson 0 Hoots man, he's just wan o1o 1 they bodies that's vena particular whit he eats." " John has five oranges, James gave him eleven, and he gives Peter seven, how many has he left ?" Before this problem the class lecoiled. " Please, sir," said a young lad," we always does our sums in apples." , Mrs Greene : " I sopposo you miss your husband a great deal?" Ihe Bereaved One: "Oh, yes; it seems so strange not; to h&\e to leave the gas burning for somebody when you go to bed. Edith : " He told me I was so interesting and lq beautiful." Julu : "And you will tiust yourself for life v.ith a man who begins deceiving you even at the commencement of his courtship." "And you can always judge a man's character by Ihe way he laughs ?" asked -Miss Westend. " oh, no, not by the way he laughs, but by what he laughs at,' Baid the Social philosopher. "I usel to think," B aid Uncle Joseph, '• that this thing of gall kissing pug dogs was purty rough, but since I came down to this city and see some of the mashers • well, maybe gals ain't so much to blame arter all."