THE SCHOOL FLAG.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Issue 28, 3 December 1898, Page 2

THE SCHOOL FLAG.

countryman of yours with ifce Great United States on the one side, and alKthe^ world on the other side. *and it pietends to give-a, picttui'e of our Union Jack, but it's a fiau<H x it tfoes not resemble oui school flag." Clapping my ear to the cup of the instrument, I p"ie(sen^ly hefcrd « voice coming fiom a great distance through somebody's nose: '^1 'don't car* a dam for your school flag. The Jack shown on my countiyman's map is a true picture of the one I took from your Johnny When my Chesapeake captured your Shannon, and if 'Johnny ha's been altering bis, Jack since, it h> like his dumed tu'oks." " There are thv*e crosses on our school flag." " There are half a dozen, if you please." The town flak is a little better^ a red strtak a% a Notch down the middk of the fair escutcheon of Kt. Andrew. The des.mption of the ' Jack taken from Good Words is nearly as clear as mud, and pieients the following pl'ea&ng problem for solution by the Waunate High School students. Given two pictures of the cross of equal size laid exactly brie upon the other, to cut away a portion of the on' 6 to as to reveal the whole of the other which must not have any of irspaits lessened. All 'eternity allowed for doing it. Prize, a Union Jack. My friends befoie quoted say : '• Geneially speaking the emblem is displayed as a national ensign on flags only, but the leveise of the bronze coins of thi realm contain* a not very nccuiate representation of it on tho shield or the seated figure of BiHannia. The Inaccuiacy consists in the crosses of St 1 . Andrew and St. Patrick being made to assume the appearance of a single saltire with a narrow bolder of equal width on each side." (I wonder who claims that single saltire, Scotlaud or lieland ?) I should have believed all that if they had not deceived me so outiag«busly with their blue pilot flag and their mystenous 16 and 17 Vie. S. 29. How can one accept the audacious suggestion that our coins ate false, and tue Union Jack unknown to the master of the Iloyal Mint? After that t withdi aw my former explanation and proffer the following to make peace with everybody : There is no such thing as the Union Jack ; it is all a myth, and the school flag was made in Germany, where myths are profoundly studied, and was intended for a museum. — I am, etc.) Touimy Atk£ns»

(TO TAB IDITOIO. Fstr, — It seems I have not yet found the meaning of that flag, which rejoices me exceedingly ; life has still something wof'th living foi\ The things I\have ltarnt fiom it are wonderful, and thereat promise of more to coma. At its first flutter after clearing the ropes I shouted hun-a-a-a-h m my -best chest voice th» loudest on the field, and w;as just going to begin again when I, wa^^ea^y choked bv hearing some one say, " Why. that ain't the J,wk " " What is it then ?" " V^ell it ain't the Jack." Being of a verj confiding natuie, and always behoving what tlje last man tells me, I could cheer no longe*^ And after wandeung in a stupor till I got\wct - through, I letnrned home deeply saddened at my waste of patriotic fervour. After aeveial weeks in this state J wus revived by a letter, in your papei and went peikily about telling^ everybody that it was the Pilot Jack, till I came Upon a fellow who said in % superior soit of way that " he knevr that all along." " Then why didn't you say so befoie? and what was it hoisted for 1" " Because ws want a pilot badly ; We want one who will pilot here a, davy factoiy that will do something better than milk the shareholder." "Well, the junioi miller ," but he made sucli an awful face that I knew he must have been paying a call. " Then we want a pilot to bring us another doctor." "What, to starve ?" " Ah, you've not had to pay anj of his bills. You try him." Since then I have had hot and cold sweats every day. Just take that to youiself, Mr Editoi, you try him. " And we want a pilot to piovide us with saleyards." " Well, the Borough Council ," he waved his hand " And who will pilot half the Councillors out of office, and never let them in again." '• What have they done ?" " Nothing." " Well, the Engineer can supply all deficiencies." "He can engineer too much, and v.c want a pilot who will compel the Government to attend to our claims about the hospital, and the Waikakahi ballot, and the diTersion of the railway, and r" " But Stephen Bo " "He does his best and for that reason we ought not to shoot him, but he does not sit easy on the stomachs of the Prohibitionists." "There n our tried fiiend the Major." " Lost all hii influence since he quanelled with Ministeis over the speakership." " AndC.V." " Agenius, admirably descubed in Proverbs iviu, 27, but too good for our base uses." " Well," I •aid impatiently, " since you know all about it, t«!l me what is the meaning of that white border on the flag." " White," he replied, " is the emblem of innocence, aud it is intended to represent those peiformers in the ceremony who are most distinguished for that quality." '-And who are they?" "You eh oose for yom self . " Then I began to suspect that ht had only been gulling me, and not knowing to what extent he had been practising on my simplicity, I went and consulted Borne fnendi of mine called W. and E. Chambers, who supply a quantity of useful information to the people, and asked them what I should do if I wanted a pilot. " Oh," said they promptly, " the British laws relating to pilots are revised and consolidated by the Act 16 and 17 Vie. c. 29 ; a ship requiring a pilot hoists a square blue flag." And now I learn on better nuthoiity that there is no such thing as a blu* flag, except the blessed Peter with bis big pta in a corner, and I suppose no such thing as that cabalistic 16 and 17 "Vic c. 29 either 1 *• Can you show me a picture of the Union Jack, Messieurs Chambers?" "Ceitamly, here you are." "But that can't be right, it is not lika our school flag." They received this imperturbably, and I went off in a dudgeon to examine another pictuie, and after that I telephoned ttiaightto Washington. :, " I fcay, Uncle Sam, there is » map in this town' made" by somi- swindling