SMOKE CONCERT.

Waimate Daily Advertiser, 17 September 1898, Page 3

SMOKE CONCERT.

The "Waimate Rifles held their usual fortnightly parade on Wednesday evening, when 60 members paraded under the command of Captain Coltrnan and Lieutenants Hurst and Inkster. Staft-Sergt.-Major Jones was also present. After parade a smoke concert was held in the Oddfellows' Hall. Mr Miller, the caterer, had everything ready, and the long table, which ran the length of the Hall and was laid for 100 was well filled. Beside the volunteers there were 30 visitors present. Captain Coltman presided and was supported by Lieutenants Hurst and Inkster. The chairman, in opening the business, said he was glad to see such a large number present, and he had much pleasure in asking them to fill their glasses and drink to " The Queen." The toast was drunk with musical honours and three hearty cheers given for Sir Herbert Kitchener in the Soudan. Lieut. Hurst then proposed " The Staff," which was suitably responded to by Sergt.- Major

Jones. Other toasts were "Local Bodies," proposed by Lieut. Inkster and replied to by Mr Graham ; " The Band," proposed by Sergt. Jackson, respouded to by Bandmaster Harwood ; " Sports," replied to by Messrs Dean, Groldstone and Collins ; " The Ladies," proposed by Corpl. Collett, replied to by Bugler Jackson ; " The Press," replied to by Messrs Smith and Boreham ; " Ex-merabers," proposed by Prvt.' Williams responded to by Messrs Capstick, Grant, Graham, and C. Adams ; " The Waimate Rifles," proposed by Mr Goldstone ; " Our Skipper," proposed by Sergt. Harwood and Prvt. Williams. During the evening songs were sung by Messrs Goldstone, E. Wills, Tregoning, Sergt.-Major Jones, Oorpl. Smith, Prvts. Bateman, Manchester, Sergt. -Sanders and Mines, and Captain .Coltman. Mr Collins accompanied the singers. The gathering broke up about 11 p.m., with the singing of Axild Lang Syne.

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The following physical puns called the "Bishop of Oxford" (BLshop Wilberford's Riddle) have furnished much entertainment : — I have a tiunk (my body), it has two lids (eyelids), two musical instruments (drums), two established measures (feet), a great number of articles carpenteis cannot do without (nails), I always have about me two good fish (soles), a great number of small fish (mussells), two lofty trees (palms), some fine floweis (tulips), two domestic animals (calves), a great number of wild animals (hares), a fine stag (hart), a number of whips without handles (lashes), some weapons of warfare (arms), a number of weather cocks (vanes), an entrance to an hotel (insteps), at a political meeting at the verge of a division (ayes and noes), two students (pupils), a number of Spanish Grandees (tendons), a big wooden box (chest), two fine buildings (temples), product of camphor tree (gums), a piece of English money (crown), something used in crossing a river (bridge of nose), pair of blades without handles (shoulder blades). Snacks: Have you read that article on " How to tell a bad egg ?" Snicks : No ; but if you have anything important to +ell a bad egg, my advice is to break it genty.