-A COCKNEY HERO,

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Issue 14, 27 August 1898, Page 1

-A COCKNEY HERO,

Eeward Pugh, in Chapman's Magazine. | One morning, as we "were breaking up camp, a hard scream that we knew well rose on the heavy air, and a black, rapidly moving mass swept over the ridge rff a line of hills half a mile away. The outposts had ridden in an hour before, we were not altogether unprepared. In an instant the camp was in a state of upheaval. The Tommies grabbed their guns and scrambled to their feet, officers shouted, corporals swore ; camels were kicked on to their legs ; on all sides sounded the rattle of accoutrements. A square was hastily formsd. Beetles were very facetious. "For 'Gaud's sake, corp'ral, put me at the back I" he whined in an ecstacy of mock terror. " For the Fuzzies ha' brought then- ladies with 'm, an' my trousies ain't ialf respectable enough 1" "I do hope," said Bander, " they won't hit me where I

keep my dinner. Anywhere else, but not there, foi my belt is workin' inside my tummy as it is." " I'd rather have good cowhide inside o' me nor a' ounce of lead," said Bettles, " But it ain't good cowhide enough," said Bander. " What a fust quality man you are!" said Beetles. The enemy had halted at the base of the hills, and one of them, a chief presu* naably, began to make a speech. " Blooming mugs 1" said Bettles with large contempt. " They always fool about like that instead of getting one home quick." He wrinkled his broken nose. " Laud lumme !" he cried. < " 'Ow that blue mud do stink. Ton my siwj, it's wuss'n Drury Lane on a Sat'day night 1" " Good old Drury Lane 1" said Bander. " I wonder whether we shall ever go to the ' Mo ' together again 1" " 'Ere they come !" said Beetles. 1 There was a moment of intense silence, broken only by the heavy' thud of the

on-coming horses' hoofs and the busy patter-patter of bare feet. Then, as the poor black wretches hurried themselves against our bristling front, the guns spoke, and a pandemonium of yells, shrieks, and L curses rent the air. A few of the enemy had muskets — old-fashioned, long-stocked affairs, with pin- triggers and chased butts. A bullet from one of them took Beetles under the chin. He fell back through our shivering line of infantry, and we picked him up and laid him among the baggage behind the camels. He asked me, " Is it domino, doctor ?" '• Shut up, you young fool 1" I said, for I was very busy, and his talking hindered me, besides being precious bad for him. *' Can't I have ]est one more cut at 'em, •--doc. ?" he said. " If you stand up, you'll die !" I told him. ■" Close your head and be still 1 Do you think I can waste all my time on . you ?" He grinned at me, spat out a mouthful of blood, and fainted. Two men fell through the disordered line and fell across Beetle's feet. One of the men was a long-limbed Arab, the other was Bander. JBander's hah 1 was stifr with gore and sweat, blinding blood was bubbling from a gash across his forehead. It was a bad moment for Bander. The Arab threw hira over and was kneeling on his stomach, throttling the life out of him. He heard Beetles yelling at the Arab, and sobbing and shouting out, " Bander's done 1 Poor ole Bander's ■-done ! Hi, somebody, come an' kill the Fuzzy 1" But there was no one to heed Beetle's -appeal. I was over on the other side of the camp ; and the correspondents were there too, unfortunately for their " copy." One, poor, half-decapitated wretch and Beetles were all who Jknew what was happening. Bander's eyes began to •bulge. The Arab felt for his knife. " 0 Gawd, I can't stick this no 'ow !" ;said BeetlesHe got up dizzily and stretched out hi 3 hand and clutched a broken bayonet. The curling steel cut his hand to the bone. He leaned forward, seized the Arab by Jie nape of the neck, and drove the im-

promptu weapon deep into his leathery back. Bander said, " Thanks, ole man," and then they both fainted, and fell across each other on the hot red sand.

" Sometimes," said Uncle Eben, " dar wouldn't be so much objection to a man habbin' his o\Vn opinion ef he didn't persist in goin' aroun' an' tryin' ter gib eberybody else a clear title to it." Subscribe to the Advertiser. Id weekly.

AFTER THE PROPOSAL. For several minutes the young man did not speak. His heart was too full. It was enough for him to know that this glorious creatuie loved him ; that she had promised to share his fate. With a new and delighted sense of ownership he feasted his eyes once moie upon her beauty, and as he realised that henceforth it would be his privilege to provide for her welfaie and happiness, he could have almost wept for joy. His good fortune seemed inciedible. Finally he whispered tenderly : — "How did it ever happen, darling, that such a bright, shining angel as yourself fell in love with a dull, stupid fellow like me ?" "Goodness knows!" she muimured, absently ; " I must have a screw loose somewhere." It was at a picnic in the Waimate district, and among the paity was the very-frequently-met-with bully. The site of the picnic was a small hill sloping to the road. While the young men and women were playing games and enjoying themselves, a "bread inspector " came along and sat on his swag to watch the fun. Down comes Mr Bully, who was a bit of a pugilist. " Here, you, what the deuce do you mean by stopping here." Theswagger civilly replied that he was doing no harm. He was on the public road. For answer, Bully gave him a right hander on the jaw. The swagger quickly rose up, and before the other picnicers could get on the scene, had given the fighting man enough to keep the doctor busy for several weeks. One lot raised the fallen brave, and another the warrior, and a bee line was made for the nearest public, to the uproarious chorus of " He's a jolly good fellow."